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August 24, 2004

Calling the SwiftVets: John Forbes Kerry's First Diplomatic Test

For two years John Forbes Kerry has been telling us that he could convince hostile nations to do our bidding just through force of personality and sweet reason.

Well, here's a smaller test, Johnny. Here are 240 or so Vets that you actually already sort of know.

Use these vaunted diplomatic skills we've heard so much about to achieve the sort of outcome you want.

We'll be watching-- and judging. If you can't convince these 240 guys to do something they're fundamentally opposed to (like shutting up, God bless 'em), I don't see how on earth you can expect us to believe you can convince Iran, North Korea, and (worst of them all) France to do America's bidding.

Update: Smack adds:

Test: Diplomacy
Status: FAILED
Explanation: "When we dedicated swift boat one in '92, I said to all the swift guys that I wasn't talking about the swifties, I was talking about all the rest of the veterans."

I can see it now:

John Forbes Kerry speaking with diplomats from Poland, the Czech Republic, Norway, Italy, Australia, and Britain: "When I called you all a 'phoney coalition' of the 'bribed, bought, and coerced,' I was talking about different countries. You know, countries that don't matter. How shall I put this? Non-white-majority countries.

"Basically, I was talking about Trinidad and Tobego, and only Trinidad and Tobego. Why you all think I was talking about you I really have no idea."

Update: Publius notes:

Wait a minute, I thought Kerry's first Diplomatic Test were his talks with the North Vietnamese in Paris while the U.S. was still at war.

Let me clarify: His first diplomatic test since becoming an announced presidential candidate.

Of course he was a presidential candidate when he was eating cucumber finger-sandwiches with the Cong, too. But that was in the mid-phases of his lifelong presidential campaign. And he had not yet announced his intentions, although, to be sure, pretty much everyone already knew.

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posted by Ace at 02:22 PM

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