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July 29, 2004

Open Memo

To: Al Qaeda-sympathizing liberals

From: Ace of Spades

Re: "Timing"

Sirs:

Please inform us all of when America is permitted to attack or capture Al Qaeda operatives. I ask specifically for you to provide us with a calendar of specified days upon which such anti-terrorist actions are permitted to be conducted.

You keep saying you object to the "timing." Well, then: If it's the timing you object to, surely there must at least nine or ten days between now and November 2nd upon which it is not "suspicious" to hunt terrorists.

I await the announcement of this calendar. Once you have provided it to me, I will coordinate with my corporate masters at the RNC to attempt to restrict all time-sensitive military strikes and covert operations to the specific days upon which you are so graciously allowing America to defend itself.

Please respond ASAP, as this is obviously a pressing matter.

Sincerely,

Ace of Spades HQ
Theocratic Liaison for Scheduling
Pre-Determined Announcements of
Victories in the Global War on Terrorism (TM)


PS: Do you really think that your bought-and-paid for liberal cheering section we call the "mainstream media" would ever allow such a minor event as the capture of an Al Qaeda general to overshadow their candidate's coronation?

How much time do you really imagine the media will give this story tonight? A thirty second mention, tops? Will CBS mention it at all?

PPS:

36533677b1ac8081a81758eac06193e3-21.jpg

That's all I have to say, really. I think that says it all, right there.

"Like Kryptonite to Stupid."

Uh-huh.

Like Kryptonite to Good Arterial Health.

PPPS: Here's CNN's front-page.

Can you find the mention of the capture of an Al Qaeda general?

Joshua Ezekial Bucephus Bluebonnet Cougar Mellancamp Micah Marshall (thanks to a poster for a couple of those) whines about MSNBC's scary-huge coverage of the arrest:

Hmmm, seems pretty sedate to me there, too. It's the first headline under "MORE top stories," the operative word there being "more," meaning it isn't one of the actual top-of-the-page, picture-in-the-banner top stories.

And yet this is too, too much for our onanistic American Taliban Josh Marshall:

Actually, apropos of the previous post, the real sucker on this one seems to be MSNBC rather than CNN. At least thus far. As of 5:43, the Ghailani capture is the headline on the MSNBC website, while it gets lesser billing on CNN. MSNBC is even blaring it more than Fox News (oh the infamy!).

Maybe the media just should have embargoed the story entirely, Josh. It is, after all, just an Al Qaeda general captured. You let us know what sorts of news the media should, until election day, refuse to report entirely, rather than simply down-playing, as they're doing now.

These liberal media-types seem to have an awfully strange notion of what constitutes "informing the American public." Apparently there's a very large class of information which mustn't be reported at all, lest Americans "get the wrong ideas," to wit, ideas which are not pre-approved by members of the Idiotgentsia such as Marshall.



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posted by Ace at 06:15 PM

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