Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Details to follow


Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Must-Read: Our Unbiased Media Critiques Coulter | Main | My Editorial Commentary on Andrew Sullivan's Pro-Kerry Burblings »
July 27, 2004

For Evil-Twin Garth Doug

MASTER-STROKE I'm still somewhat in shock at the first night of the Democratic Convention. I kept thinking i was at a Republican convention. Tightly scripted, elegantly choreographed, seamlessly on the centrist message of war, unity, maturity and judgment. Foreign policy was front and center; faith was showcased; military service was held up as the ideal; prudent leadership was touted in a time of "peril," in Hillary's word. I wonder if they can keep this up. But I'm amazed they've tried. I've been writing for months now that Kerry's most effective message would be that he'd conduct the war on terror with more allies and more wisdom than Bush. But I never actually believed he'd be canny enough to do exactly that. But he has! If the first night is any indicator, the Democrats have played the smartest, strongest card of the campaign so far....

I had a catch in my throat as "Amazing Grace" struck up, and another as I absorbed the fact that a Muslim-American and a Jewish-American had just joined in tribute to the murdered.

...

Rhetorically, at least, they were saying: this is our war too. But we can pursue it more wisely and effectively than the well-meaning hothead now in office. And there was a subtler message as well. Remember when we were one as a nation? Do you really think that president Bush is capable of bringing any of us together again? Of course, some Democrats are responsible for exactly that polarization. But it's nevertheless a smart move to portray themselves as a unifying future compared to the divisive past.


THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY: The cultural signals were superbly done as well.

...

Jimmy Carter's speech was one of the best I've ever heard from him; and the genius of it was that Carter went against type. He re-introduced himself as a navy veteran, and was most effective mentioning those presidents who had actually been in the military: Eisenhower and Truman, under whom Carter served. Now listen to this passage:

Today -- today our Democratic Party is led by another former naval officer, one who volunteered for military service. He showed up when assigned to duty -- and he served with honor and distinction. He also knows the horrors of war and the responsibilities of leadership. And I am confident that next January he would restore the judgment and maturity to our government that nowadays is sorely lacking.

Kerry showed up. Kerry is as tough as Bush - but with "judgment and maturity." And in case you didn't get the message: "The biggest reason to make John Kerry president is even more important. It is to safeguard the security of our nation."

...


TO THE RIGHT OF BUSH: ...

After 9/11, America stood proud, wounded but determined and united. A cowardly attack on innocent civilians brought us an unprecedented level of cooperation and understanding around the world.

But in just 34 months we have watched with deep concern as all this good will has been squandered by a virtually unbroken series of mistakes and miscalculations.

If you're a worried undecided voter, you may nott agree with all that. But you'll be troubled by enough of it to consider Kerry. And then there was the gut-punch: the indirect use of Bush's dubious National Guard service. In fact, the way in which the Democrats used the service record of Kerry against Bush was straight out of the Republican playbook. It's a pretty low blow, and Carter delivered it with a deep thud. When you describe someone as weak on defense and a draft-dodger, you're usually a Republican. But not this time.

...

CLINTON AT HIS BEST: Carter's was the better speech, but Clinton was magnificent.

...

And then the coup de grace: he put himself and Bush in the same camp as draft-dodgers, in stark comparison to the patriotic Kerry! My jaw was on the floor at that point in a mixture of admiration and horror. But it was mighty effective. And the way in which he described the cost of the tax cut in terms of squandered attempts to improve homeland defense was another smart move. Use the Republican tax cut issue against the Republican security issue. Wedge against them for once. If the constitution didn't prevent it, the man would still be president. After last night's speech, you can see why.

Guess who...?

Yes, it's that centrist, undecided analyst "reluctantly" moving towards supporting John Kerry. The one who apparently pays $120,000 for a server.

AllahPundit wrote to me, about six months ago, that Sully was just waiting for John Forbes Kerry to bravely declare "Terrorism is bad," and then he'd go into another one of his loopy puppy-dog-love swoons, praising the guts and judgment of the man to make such a steely pronouncement.

They don't call Allah the Maker of All Wisdom for nothin', folks.

By the way. This?:

I kept thinking i was at a Republican convention. Tightly scripted, elegantly choreographed, seamlessly on the centrist message of war, unity, maturity and judgment.

Of course Randy Andy thought he was at a Republican convention. Randy Andy has this funny way of thinking that wherever he is on an issue RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT, that represents the heart and soul of the conservative movement-- or at least the real conservative movement, the Gay-Marriage-Arnold-Schwarzenegger-John-McCain-Eagles-'n-Ecstasy "conservative movement" he prefers.

Who is this Garth Doug? There seems to be some confusion among readers about who "Garth Doug" is. One of the Dougs thinks I mean "Darth."

Didn't you guys watch Knight Rider?

Garth Knight was Michael Knight's "evil twin with a goatee."

So, to tell the two Dougs apart:

David_Hasselhoff.jpg
This is the Doug that agrees with me. Notice how sexy he looks in that Member's Only jacket.

garth.jpg
This is Evil Twin Garth Doug, who disagrees with me. Look at this evil son-of-a-bitch! Look at that corrupt goatee! And look at that mendacious chest-hair! What a dickweed!

I hope that clears things up.

p.s. to Evil Twin Garth Doug:

j/k. (g). :)



digg this
posted by Ace at 02:43 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Our Country is Screwed: "I'm not heavy and have been wearing a full beard a ..."

Duke Lowell : "Paul, you ignorant slut. ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "FWIW. Maybe it’s a New York thing. Posted b ..."

brak: "we had a good run as a nation ..."

polynikes: "ott Adams @ScottAdamsSays 1h I don’t get e ..."

jeff spicoli's brother: "Posted by: Paul banned at March 28, 2024 05:47 PM ..."

Fountains of Wayne: "I'm in love with Paulie's mom. ..."

Ciampino - just traveling, not driving: "142 not certain whether typo for "allision" or "li ..."

Duke Lowell : "I too support a cease fire in Gaza. Once all their ..."

torabora : "I've been putting off mailing Bowman his fire alar ..."

Our Country is Screwed: "179 Saw a half Pali (half I forget) gal answer the ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "Posted by: Paul banned at March 28, 2024 05:47 PM ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64