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May 05, 2004

Helicopter Downed En Route to "Wild" Gun Battle

John Kerry Calls for a "Fundamental Reevaluation" of Bush's Strategy

A news helicopter was downed, supposedly due to mechanical failure, en route to a "wild" running gun battle between local police forces and "insurgents."

The pilot and two passengers of the Eurocopter Spatiale AS 350B supposedly survived without injuries requiring medical-helicopter evacuation.

"Bush proclaimed 'bring it on' last fall," Senator John Kerry intoned. "I wonder how the families of those who survived the crash feel about that juvenile boast."

"It's is time to call in the United Nations," Senator Kerry demanded.

Three local insurgents were wounded by indiginous police forces.

"It's time for President Bush to apologize to the nation for his lack of planning," Senator Hillary Clinton stated in a "major foreign policy address" delivered at the PS 103 grade school reading room.

A local man said he heard a "big whining noise" as the chopper went down. Earlier reports stated that this referred to the helicopter's rotors as they lost power. More recent information attributes the "big whining noise" to all-around partisan hump Rep. Anthony Wiener, D-NY.

The chopper in question was owned by WNBC-TV news, operating out of New York City. The "wild" gun battle, breaking out among "malcontents" and "bitter-enders" in Flatbush, Brooklyn, was quelled within an hour by NYC police.

Some reporting by Eric Wolff of the New York Sun.

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posted by Ace at 07:31 PM

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