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Food Thread: You Say Turkey, I Say Real Meat; One Of Us Is Wrong!

Luckily I am not roasting one of those overrated, boring, lifeless, we-have-turkey-because-we-have always-had-turkey monstrosities.

Hell, it's as bad as your liberal relatives voting Democrat because "Grandpa always voted Democrat, and that's good enough for me."

So...really...if you have turkey for Thanksgiving you are a crypto-communist.

Anyway, I will be making a bone-in pork roast, probably on the rotisserie, and definitely dry-brined with salt, Juniper, Rosemary, and Thyme.

Somebody else is going to bring the overdone/underdone/dry/soggy flightless bird.

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There is a reason why Purina doesn't make People Chow. Because unlike our dogs and cats and monkeys and gerbils, we can bitch and moan about the taste of our food. And there is absolutely nothing like a good steak. Don't pretend otherwise, and don't try to fake the experience, because you just end up looking like a clown.

These 3D-Printed Steaks Have Marbling, a Meat-Like Texture, and No Actual Meat

Sadly, these Woke cooking and food websites that pimp this sort of sh*t are hell-bent on shoving fake meat down our throats, even when it is obviously disgusting. Hell...the article includes an Instagram review of the fake meat by a Washington Post food writer, and even she can't hide her revulsion!

So...just stop. You aren't fooling anyone.

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You're damned straight I enjoyed that! A smoked bratwurst from a place I have raved about on many an occasion, and some excellent Polish mustard to go along with it.

There is a huge gulf between good sausages and the mass-market stuff that we can get in our supermarkets. Are they bad? No. But they aren't spectacular, so I think it is worthwhile to seek out a small producer and sample their stuff...you will not regret it!

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I like Garden And Gun because they aren't nearly as aggressively Woke as most food websites and magazines. Here are two articles about Bourbon that I found reasonably useful, and because I have tasted most of these bottles I can confirm that they aren't crap. Give the Gift of Bourbon is useful for people who might not be as nerdy about booze as I am. And Gift-Worthy Bourbons by Grain Profile is simply an interesting and fun way of delineating Bourbon.
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That bottle was a birthday gift from one of the brats...the one who likes to drink my bourbon! No, I am not suggesting that he bought it because he wants to taste it and he knows I will share it with him. Of course not!

However, coincidentally he was over a few nights ago and I happened to open it. Some of you are familiar with the distillery, which is famous for their high-rye bottlings, but this one was delicate and smooth...very different than what I expected.

I don't know its price point, but it was a very pleasant pour! A bit too smooth for my taste, but that isn't a criticism, just a comment on my palate.

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This is a crazily specific MAc & Cheese recipe from Alton Brown. His lunacy is on full display here, but it does look like fun, so why the hell not! Mac To Basics looks like fun...once. I doubt it is much better, but it can't hurt to try.

And next week (if I can dig it up) I will link to a video of my favorite internet chefs (the folks from Fallow) making Mac & Cheese...without a Bechamel! Yes, it is via Heston Blumenthal, so it is going to be strange, but it actually does look like it would be quite good!

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Homemade vanilla ice cream, complete with tons of cream and egg yolks and sugar is a delight! And it is one of the marvelous uses for whole vanilla beans! Or correctly, a whole vanilla bean split down the middle and then scraped clean of the paste.

That went right into the cream, and steeped for an hour or so. But what to do with the used bean? Damned if I know, but the recipe suggested that I make "Vanilla Sugar," whatever that is. And so I did.

Now what? I have no idea what to do with it!

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The great garlic experiment of 2025-2026 was a resounding...meh. Send all of your excellent home-grown garlic to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

About the Bourbon Bubble...I think it has burst, but the category is also suffering from the inflation that affected everything else (Thanks Biden!). I think the sweet spot is still $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.

The problem...or the solution...is to buy lots of bourbon, take tasting notes, and eventually arrive at your favorites! It should take forty or fifty years, but it is worth it!