Saturday Night Club ONT - July 18, 2026 [Disco & Dino]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We built this place for you so you can have some fun. Come in in, grab a drink or 3. Keep it light and friendly. Jerks need not enter the premises (the moose out front is keeping track and you do NOT want to disappoint the moose).

[Top photo: the bar at Fraunces Tavern, New York City. The oldest surviving building in New York.]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't mess with Mommy when she's been drinking."

-----

Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the 7 of spades from our deck of playing card cocktails

Club ONT Department of Home Remodeling

Pole dancing accident floods two Houston apartments

A Houston woman said she is done practicing pole dancing at home after a mishap led to two apartments being flooded.

Asha Gilbert was filming her pole dancing practice July 6 at her west Houston apartment when the pole came loose from the ceiling and struck a fire sprinkler.

Gilbert said she had only installed the pole three days earlier.

"It wasn't even a thought that it could possibly hit the sprinkler," Gilbert said. "We were more worried about it hitting a wall."

She said her furniture was ruined and she had to move to another unit due to the damage. Gilbert said her downstairs neighbor was understanding about the water damage.

"I explained everything, and she was very, very cool and understanding, and I appreciated that," Gilbert said.

She said she will not be pole dancing at home anymore.

Club ONT Department of Bonanza History

Dan Blocker's horse off camera was a mini-bike.

Club ONT Department of the Misplaced Emu

Mystery emu on the loose in Mississippi

Animal control officers are trying to find the owner of an emu on the loose in Mississippi's Pearl River County.

A witness captured video of the flightless Australian bird wandering this week near Pea Ridge Road.

Pearl River County Animal Control confirmed Wednesday that the emu remained on the loose, and its origins were unknown.

Officials are asking anyone with information on the emu's owner or current whereabouts to contact local authorities.

Any among the Horde missing your Emu?

Club ONT Department of Oklahoma Geography

There is a Disney, Oklahoma? Who knew?

According to the town website:

Disney is situated in northeastern Mayes County at the east end of Pensacola Dam on State Highway 28. The town is named after former Oklahoma U.S. Congressman Wesley E. Disney and has no affiliation with The Walt Disney Company or Walt Disney.

Disney is renowned worldwide for its vehicle rock climbing, off-road trails, and adventure activities. Within the city limits are five recreation areas of Cherokee State Park, offering off-road rock climbing, trails, and mudding for off-road vehicles. Visitors can also enjoy camping, swimming, picnicking, boating, fishing, skiing, and kayaking. Many off-road event attendees also spend time fishing, boating, or kayaking on the water.

Club ONT Movie Night: X-15 Documentary

Club ONT Jukebox

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