Kristi Noem's Husband Is a Not-So-Secret Crossdresser Who Adorns Himself With Ridiculous Fake Breasts

So I was wondering: Why does Kristi Noem feel that she can have a very non-covert, practically overt affair with Corey Lewandowski? She refused to even deny it when asked about it at a congressional hearing.

I'm not being judgey, I'm asking: Why does she think that? Doesn't she worry about the husband finding out?

The answer to the latter is "Nah, bruv." She does not worry about a jealous heterosexual husband, not at all.

She might worry about her husband stealing her Wonderbras, though.

And maybe this also explains why Trump moved so quickly to pack her off to Shield of the Americas Military School.

These are the photos that allegedly show Kristi Noem's husband Bryon wearing comically oversized, lopsided breasts -- complete with fake protruding nipples -- to female members of an online fetish community.

The Daily Mail obtained "hundreds" of messages purportedly sent between the former Secretary of Homeland Security's husband and three women who are involved in the so-called "bimbofication" fetish scene.

The kinky community involves people injecting their busts with freakishly large amounts of saline in pursuit of a "Barbie-doll"-like appearance.

The pictures show the South Dakota insurance mogul, who has three children with Noem, clad in pink hotpants and a skin-tight, flesh-colored crop-top stuffed with enormous balloons made to resemble massive cockeyed breasts.

His face is clearly visible in several of the photos, including one in which his expression is so mundane it could be from a driver's license photo.

In others he flashes a more flirty "kissy-face" pose in which he's pursing his lips.

The outlet spoke with national security experts who said the existence of the scandalous photographs could have made his wife subject to potential blackmail threats.

...

"They approach the person and say, if you work with us we won't expose this, and if you don't, we will. That's espionage 101."

Kristi Noem was ousted from her role at DHS on March 5 after a pair of disastrous congressional hearings, including fumbling a question about whether she was having an affair with married top aide Corey Lewandowski.

Noem claims the family has been "blindsided" by this. Press X to doubt. Her weird behavior suggests she's been dealing with this for years.

See the article for the pictures. This pervert is wearing a shirt, but you can see the fake hooters and their misaligned nipples under the fabric of the shirt.

I was going to post one but... eh. I'm not mad at you guys today so I won't do you like that.

Piper's tweet has a snap if you must see it.

If you don't want to see it: Imagine a seedier version of Hugh Laurie with giant foam-latex breasts with nipples that point the way to Bangor, Maine and Albuquerque, NM simultaneously.

posted by Disinformation Expert Ace at 04:30 PM

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