Saturday Night Club ONT - February 28, 2026 [2 D's]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. We've spiffied the place up a bit tonight. Hope you notice. The carpets have been cleaned. Starlight mints are now available at the bar. Fresh cakes in the urinals. Lavender and vanilla scented plug-ins in the ladies room. Coat check area has been sprayed with that stuff they use for bowling shoe rentals. Come on in!

This is an open thread, so report, speculate, and pontificate as desired. Current events continue to develop. Just don't be a jerk or a troll. Club ONT security will remove offenders.

[Top photo: Cataract Falls, Tennessee (ten minutes from Gatlinburg)]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

An old man is walking along a river with a bucket of fish, when a game warden stops him and asks, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The old man says, "No sir, I don't. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the warden replies, skeptical. "How is that?"

The man explains, "Well, these are my pet fish. I take them down to the water and let them swim for about half an hour. Then I whistle, they jump back into my bucket, and we go home."

The game warden, not believing a word, says, "That's a bunch of nonsense. Fish can't do that. I'm going to ticket you."

The old man says, "Fine, I'll show you." He dumps the fish into the river and waits.

Five minutes go by, and the warden says, "Well, are you going to call them back?"

The old man looks at the warden and asks, "Call who back?"

"The fish!" the warden yells.

The old man asks, "What fish?"

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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange...

Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"

Driver: "I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI."

Officer: "May I see the registration for this vehicle?"

Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?!"

Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there."

Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?"

Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk."

Officer: "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?!"

Driver: "Yes, sir."

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?"

Driver: "Sure. Here it is." It was valid.

Captain: "Whose car is this?"

Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the registration." The driver owned the car.

Captain: "Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?"

Driver: "Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it." Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it."

Driver: "No problem." Trunk is opened. No body.

Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk."

Driver: "Yeah, I'll bet the lying son of a bitch told you I was speeding, too!"

Open that Bottle Night

In lieu of the drink of the night, Club ONT joins with oenophiles around the world in celebration of Open that Bottle Night. The last Saturday of each February has been so designated every year since 1999. It was begun by the then-Wall Street Journal Wine Columnists John Brecher and Dorothy Gaiter. It is a call to open that special bottle with friends and share the experience, instead of letting it continue to sit in the cellar.

More history here.

What are you opening tonight?

What are you saving for a special occasion (and why are you waiting)?

Has anyone given you a special bottle that comes with a great story?

Do you have an agreement among a group to share a special bottle upon a milestone?

Club ONT patrons are not limited to wine. Any other spirit or beverage qualifies.

Too soon?

Club ONT Official Records of State

Random trivia: Did you know what 32 states have an official beverage? The first was Ohio in 1965 that went with tomato juice. 20 of the 32 states with official beverages have designated milk as their official beverage.

You may be asking: "what about DC?" In 2011, the District of Colombia designated a drink called "Rickey" as its official beverage. What is "Rickey?" Per Wikipedia:

The rickey is a highball made from gin or bourbon, lime juice, and carbonated water. Little or no sugar is added to the rickey. It was created with bourbon in Washington, D.C., at Shoomaker's bar by bartender George A. Williamson in the 1880s, purportedly in collaboration with Democratic lobbyist Colonel Joe Rickey. Its popularity increased when made with gin a decade later.

Shocking that a drink in DC is named after a Democratic lobbyist.

Club ONT Department of Astronomy

Did you watch the planetary parade this evening?

The best time is/was about 30 minutes after local sunset.
Look from low in the west (Mercury/Venus/Saturn) to high in the east (Jupiter). Visible to the naked eye: Mercury, Venus, Saturn, and Jupiter visible to the naked eye. Binoculars or a telescope are needed to see Uranus and Neptune.

It remains to be seen whether the alignment signals the imminent appearance of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Club ONT Department of Modern Combat Entertainment

Who says Club ONT doesn't provide great entertainment?

The Club ONT Jukebox

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Club ONT brought to you by:
Young members of the cartel

Tonight's food offerings are proudly presented by our friends at Jimmy's Seafood. Should anything not be to your liking - well, you know what you can do!

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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