Saturday Night "Club ONT" January 3, 2026 [The 3 Ds]

Did you get a new calendar? Mark Club ONTs for each 2026 Saturday - in pen.

[Top photo: Antietam National Battlefield, Sharpsburg, MD]

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

As the clock struck the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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How does a pre-teen celebrate the new year?
The Ball Drop.

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A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

2025 Department of Travel

Drink of the Night

Colorado Bulldog

Ingredients 1 cup crushed ice 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger vodka 1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger coffee flavored liqueur 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle cola-flavored carbonated beverage 1 fluid ounce light cream

Directions
Place ice into a tall 16-ounce glass. Pour in vodka and coffee liqueur, then fill to within 1 inch of the rim with cola. Fill to within 1/2 inch of the rim with light cream, and stir to blend.

Club ONT Gym

Club endorsed gym resolution.

Really? pic.twitter.com/v5iIygQQan https://t.co/3eKgfwmuFQ

— Rash ™ (@Rashousmane) December 18, 2025

Club ONT Department of History

Cheers to another year of freedom. Hope all stayed out of jail on NYE - after you hit 29, it's kind of the expectation.

Let's tour some old jails and prisons.

Opening with the prisons of Venice.

Both the Pozzi and Piombi found in the Doge Palace. Fantastic reading at the link - brief description of Casanova's escape from the Lead Chambers, and a architectural rendering of the layout.

High above the pozzi, tucked beneath the palace’s lead roof, lay the piombi—the Lead Chambers. These cells, while still prisons, offered a stark contrast to the wells below. Natural light filtered through small openings, and prisoners could at least breathe relatively fresh air.

The irony was cruel: in summer, the lead roof turned these chambers into furnaces, while winter transformed them into freezers. Yet for those accused of lesser crimes—political dissidents, minor thieves, or those who had merely offended the wrong noble—the piombi represented salvation compared to the alternative.

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People have bizarre ideas.

Cebu Prison, Philippines You’ve probably seen their video of Michael Jackson’s Thriller; this is due to Cebu Prison’s exercise program that consists of inmates dancing in sync. The warden was allegedly inspired by a scene from the “Shawshank Redemption,” giving birth to a viral sensation. The prison now does live shows and inmates perform at charities, and are even paid for their work.

Of course, Norway.

Bastoey Island low security prison, Norway Norway is home to the world’s first eco-friendly prison. It uses solar panels for energy, produces most of its own food, recycles everything and tries to reduce its carbon footprint. The solar panels have cut the facility’s power needs by 70 percent. Bastoey has also tapped grants from environmental bodies to help it produce high-quality, organic food. Surplus that isn’t cooked in the prison kitchens is sold to other prisons. The prison has also gained international fame for how it treats its prisoners; it resembles a summer camp, with tennis, horseback riding and swimming.

Idleness sometimes leads to creativity. Clever criminals. Items prisoners made while incarcerated. Hit the link - thirty pictures.

Club ONT Music History

Did you know that Blondie's "Heart of Glass" was originally recorded as a slower funk/reggae version called "Once I Had Love" or just "The Disco Song."

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Did you know that "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison was originally called "Brown Skinned Girl" and was about an inter-racial relationship? He changed it to make it more palatable to radio stations. Even so, some radio stations thought the lyrics were too spicy, so an edited version of the song was released that replaced the words "making love in the green grass" with "laughin' and a-runnin', hey hey."

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Did you know that a well known song from Horde "favorite" Bruce Springsteen originally sounded a whole lot different from the version that became famous?

In 1982, Bruce Springsteen recorded this raw, dark demo of "Born in the USA" during the sessions that would spawn his Nebraska album

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

An announcement from your hosts (if the Moose out front didn't tell ya)

Club ONT is undergoing a change in personnel after we close tonight. One of the D's will no longer be a host going forward. The Doggo has decided to turn in his keys to the Club. The Club will remain open on Saturday nights with Disco and Dino doing our best to provide the whelming level of service you've come to expect.

Will we be "The 2 Ds" or "The Double Ds" or some other yet-to-be-imagined name? That remains TBD. Things might look a little bit different as we figure things out, but thank you for sticking with the Club. Please continue to enjoy your time at the Club (even if the tables are a little wobbly).

For now, we want to say thanks to our brother Doggo - thank you for helping create such a wonderfully Hordian environment and thanks for all the labor behind the scenes. Best wishes for whatever you will be doing with your newly acquired free time. You may be turning in your keys, but you'll still know the secret knock. Once a D, always a D!

Freeze this moment a little bit longer...

Club ONT presents a 21 Milk Bone Salute in Doggo's Honor:

Thank you for renewing your subscription to Club ONT. Club ONT appreciates your continued patronage. Club ONT regrets that it cannot honor drink coupons that expired on December 31, 2025. Drink coupons for 2026 are available from the cashier at a modest and reasonable price. No haggling, but bartering is available.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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