Sunday Overnight Open Thread - December 14, 2025 [Doof]

Howdy Hordelings! Welcome to the Sunday night ONT. Cold and snowy in my neck of the woods today. How about yours? How's the holiday season coming along for you? What's on your mind tonight? Check out the content, then jump on in to the gray boxes.

Army Navy Game Yesterday

President Trump was there and received a very warm welcome

Amazing atmosphere for the National Anthem

Seems like the Cadets and Midshipmen don't think Orange Man is bad.

Big Joe is Good People

Long tweet but worth the read.

"I'm Big Joe. 58. Long-haul trucker. Been driving 18-wheelers for 34 years. Sleep in my cab. Eat at truck stops. Talk on CB radio to stay awake. Lonely job. But someone's gotta move America's stuff. Two years ago, I'm driving through Nebraska. 2 a.m. See a car pulled over. Hazards on. Woman standing outside. Looking scared. I pulled over. She backed away when she saw me. I'm 6'4", 280 pounds, covered in tattoos. I get it. "Ma'am, I'm not stopping to hurt you. I'm stopping to help. What's wrong?" Her car died. Phone dead. She'd been there three hours. Nobody stopped. "Where you headed?" "Hospital. Omaha. My daughter's in emergency surgery. I have to get there." No hesitation. "Get in. I'll take you." "In your truck?" "Safest vehicle on this highway." She hesitated. Then got in.

***

Started a code. "Code Angel" we call it. When truckers see someone broken down, stranded, in trouble, we stop. We help.
Word spread. Truckers across the country joined.
Last year, we helped 1,200 people. Dead batteries. Out of gas. Medical emergencies. Domestic violence victims escaping. Runaways needing safe transport to shelters.
We've got a network now. Truckers, CB radio, truck stops. Someone needs help? We mobilize.

***

So tomorrow, if you break down, if you're stranded, if you're running from something bad,
Look for the trucks. We're watching. We're listening.
We might look rough. But we'll get you home.
Because the highway doesn't have to be lonely.
Not when 4,000 truckers refuse to drive past people in trouble."

Bravo, Big Joe - and all of you other truckers out there. Please check out the whole thing and share this story.

AI is Asshoe

Another long tweet, but well worth the read.

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees. $30 per seat per month. $1.4 million annually. I called it "digital transformation." The board loved that phrase. They approved it in eleven minutes. No one asked what it would actually do. Including me. I told everyone it would "10x productivity." That's not a real number. But it sounds like one. HR asked how we'd measure the 10x. I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards." They stopped asking.

***

The CFO asked about ROI.
I showed him a graph.
The graph went up and to the right.
It measured "AI enablement."
I made that metric up.
He nodded approvingly.
We're "AI-enabled" now.
I don't know what that means.
But it's in our investor deck.

***

Adoption means mandatory training.
Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.
But completion will be tracked.
Completion is a metric.
Metrics go in dashboards.
Dashboards go in board presentations.
Board presentations get me promoted.
I'll be SVP by Q3.
I still don't know what Copilot does.
But I know what it's for.
It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

AI adoption is the latest way to virtue signal. By asshoes.

Moron Approved Behavior

'Ette Couture (Courtesy of Piper)

It's that time of the week - when we turn the ONT over to our good friend Piper for a bit. Here's this week's fashion pr0n.

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Ho Ho Holy Mother of Pearl, Look at These Sweaters

Last night was the Ace of Spades HQ Club ONT Christmas party, and your faithful friend here sacrificed her retinas for you. All for you. The theme this year was apparently "You will have colored lights and you will like it!” And oh boy, they were everywhere. I arrived, as would be expected, in unimpeachable couture while surrounded by... whatever the opposite of that is.

Let us begin.

• AOP: He arrived wearing what he described as "my dress sweater" which featured Santa Claus riding a unicorn while shooting guns made of candy canes. The unicorn had googly eyes. Actual googly eyes that moved when he walked.

• Bezerker: Wore a 3D felt Christmas tree sweater with battery-powered fairy lights that pulsed like a seizure in fabric form. He kept yelling “I’m a tree, hug me!” while sequins rained off him like dandruff from a disco ball. One of the bulbs shorted out mid-evening and started smoking.

• CBD: A hand-knitted abomination that appeared to be Santa Claus wrestling Krampus while riding a flamingo. The flamingo had LED eyes that changed color every time someone said the word “eggnog.” By 10 p.m. the flamingo was strobing demonic red and CBD was yelling into the cheese tray he doesn’t even celebrate Christmas.

• Doof: A sweater with red and green stripes that somehow managed to clash with each other, paired with a light-up Rudolph nose that blinked in Morse code (I believe it was spelling out "RUSH"). He claimed it was vintage. I countered that "vintage" is not a synonym for "crime against humanity."

• J.J. Sefton: Showed up in a sweater that was 50% menorah, 50% Christmas tree, 100% war crime. It lit up to spell “OY TO THE WORLD” in alternating Hebrew and English. He claimed it was “inclusive.”

• Scampydog: I am honestly traumatized. I hope you never get the pine tree sap out of…I just can’t.

• Perfessor Squirrel: A sweater depicting cats in Santa hats playing poker, their little 3D paws were posed holding tiny felt cards with pantless ladies on them. He kept insisting it was “kitsch”. I needed three more champagnes.

• Buck Throckmorton: Wore a sweater that simply said “NAUGHTY” in glitter script across the chest, except half the glitter had fallen off so it read “AUG T”. He spent the entire night telling people it was performance art about the price of metals.

• T-Rex: A bright red sweater depicting a T-Rex trying to wrap presents. “It’s ironic”, he explained.

• Tonypete: A tasteful black turtleneck… underneath a light-up sweater vest of snowmen doing unspeakable things to each other with candy canes. When confronted, he just said “HEYoooooo”.

• MisHum: A sweater with a giant QR code on the front. When you scanned it, it rickrolled you to Frank Zappa’s Merry Christmas album.

• Nurse R: Arrived in a sweater that looked perfectly normal from the front (classic Fair Isle). From the back: a full-sized embroidered Nicolas Cage as Santa screaming “MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU FILTHY ANIMALS.”

• JQ: A sweater covered in tiny multi color sequined felt hats. She looked like she had been attacked by a Bedazzler-wielding toddler who had recently discovered caffeine.

• Ace: A fractal reindeer sweater. Reindeer wearing sweater wearing reindeer wearing sweater, ad infinitum. He paired it with corduroy pants the color of despair and announced, “This is my formal holiday look.” I have never respected and feared a man more.

The pièce de résistance of the entire evening was when someone (I refuse to name names but his initials are Tankdemon) started an ugly sweater contest late. The voting was done by applause. There was a three-way tie for first place because everyone was too drunk to count properly. Democracy is dead.

Merry Christmas, you magnificent degenerates. Never change. Except your sweaters. Dear heavens, please change your sweaters.

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Thanks, Piper! Great time at the party last night. Special thanks to Club regular and bartender JQ for these lights she found for each of the 3 D's.

Many thanks to my fellow Club ONT hosts Dino and Doggo for their efforts with the Club! Not just last night, but week in and week out -- you guys are the best!

DJ Doof - Guess The Theme

Difficulty level 3 out of 5

What's the common thread / common meaning / common leitmotif?

Weekly commenter stats for week of 12-14-2025

AoSHQ Commenter Statistics:
Number of posts: 96
Number of comments: 24178
Number of unique hashes: 1826

Top 10 commenters:
1 [554 comments] 'Bulg' [78.68 posts/day]
2 [457 comments] 'jim (in Kalifornia)'
3 [437 comments] 'TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger'
4 [380 comments] 'whig'
5 [378 comments] 'Sponge - F*ck Cancer'
6 [350 comments] 'Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ '
7 [335 comments] 'Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere '
8 [291 comments] 'Skip '
9 [280 comments] 'runner'
10 [269 comments] 'Tom Servo'

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [254 names] 'Macedonian Content Farmer Alliance' [36.07 unique names/day]
2 [107 names] 'It's just another scam'
3 [79 names] 'Quarter Twenty '
4 [46 names] 'Count de Monet'
5 [37 names] 'Duncanthrax'
6 [36 names] 'The Grateful - Acta Non Verba'
7 [35 names] 'Karen Muddlumps, democrat scold and do gooder'
8 [29 names] 'pookysgirl, Mama Bear Extraordinaire'
9 [29 names] 'Miklos has land mines under his lawn'
10 [28 names] 'mindful webworker - it's all relatives'

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posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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