Saturday Night "Club ONT" November 29, 2025 [The 3 Ds]

Alright, Christmas Tree... it is timber time. Junior, bring me the saw.

Welcome to Club ONT. A collaboration the 3D's - The Disco, The Dino, and The Doggo. Apparently today was Small Business Saturday. Yet another event I was this many days old before knowing.

Quote of the Weekend

Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like.

Will Rogers

Who is feeling festive and enjoying their Thanksgiving weekend? Family still around? Decorations? Leftovers!

Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A man was doing some last minute Christmas shopping when he spotted a beautiful parrot through the window of a pet shop.

The man walked inside to get a better look, and the owner of the shop approached the man.

"That's Chet," the owner said, "He's a very special parrot."

"What do you mean special?" the man asked.

The owner struck a match and held it under the parrot's left foot and Chet began to sing, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."

The man was totally amazed. The owner then held the lit match under the parrot's right foot and Chet began to sing, "Deck the hall with boughs of holly, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la..."

The man had never seen any parrot like this one. He quickly paid the man for the parrot and rushed home to his wife.

Skeptical of her husband's purchase, the wife sat down and watched the man light a match, then hold it under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to bellow, "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way..."

The wife was speechless. The man then held the match under the parrots right foot and Chet began to bellow, "Deck the hall with boughs of holly, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la..."

The wife, still skeptical asked, "What would happen if you held the match under both of his feet?"

The man thought for a minute, then held the lit match under both of the parrot's feet.

Chet began to squawk louder than ever, "CHETS NUTS ROASTING OVER AN OPEN FIRE!"

-----

Went into a toy store to do some early Christmas shopping and asked the assistant, "Where are the Schwarzenegger dolls?"

He said, "Aisle B, back."

Drink of the Night

Autumn Daiquiri

Ingredients 2 ounces dark rum ½ ounce lime juice ½ ounce pineapple juice ¼ ounce Demerara Syrup (syrup made with sugar in the raw) ¼ ounce cinnamon syrup 1 dash Angostura bitters

Directions
In a cocktail shaker, add all ingredients with ice. Shake well and strain into a coupe glass.

Club ONT Department of Philosophy

Anyone know what the correct amount of woomba is?

Asking the important questions.

Club ONT Trains

Ken Burns has rightfully been taking some heat for his revisionist Civil War series. Let's take a look at something interesting from the era.

The Great Locomotive Chase of 1862. The Failed Union Plot To Steal A Confederate Train And Destroy Tracks Across The South.

The plan to steal a Confederate train, hatched by a civilian spy named James J. Andrews, had a dual purpose. It was meant to destroy Western and Atlantic Railroad and cut off Confederate supplies to Chattanooga, making the city vulnerable to capture by Major General Ormsby M. Mitchel.

***

James J. Andrews and his men targeted a train station in Kennesaw known as Big Shanty because it didn't have a telegraph station. If everything went according to plan, the Confederates would be unable to alert others to the train theft, thus giving Andrews and his men a healthy head start.

Club ONT Permanent Record

No compatibility tests. Nor leadership. Certainly not intelligence test - we all know smart the Horde... well nevermind. The Club is going right to the jugular. Dictator and President tests. Which are you most aligned with?

Villian Test

This free online 45-question personality test will allow you to compare yourself with the personalities of 20 murderous dictators and terrorists, using a hybrid of the scientific "Big Five" measure of personality and the cognitive theories of C.G. Jung. Furthermore, this test will also match your personality scores with peer-reviewed university studies.

Which President are you Test

In his research, Professor Dr. John M. Berecz, Ph.D., studied the personalities of several U.S. presidents and concluded that each of them could be linked to a definite psychiatric pathology.

Which U.S. president do you resemble? For each of the following statements, indicate how well it applies to you below.

Club ONT Science Update

Space trivia: Voyager 1 was launched on September 5, 1977. It has been flying for over 48 years away from the sun at an average of over 38,026 miles per hour.

It is not yet one light-day away from earth. A light-day is the distance it takes for a beam of light to travel over 24 hours.

For comparison, the closest star is 4.24 light-years away. The closest star is Proxima Centauri, part of the Alpha Centauri system.

If the relative celestial locations remained the same (which they won't), it would take Voyager 1 over 74,000 earth years to reach Proxima Centauri at its current pace. Having said that, Voyager 1 was never built for top speed. More speed is possible, so other spacecraft could get there much more quickly.

If you are at Club ONT's Proxima Centauri location and you are waiting for drink delivery from earth, please be patient. Old copies of Compute! Magazine are in the lobby for you to read while you wait.

Club ONT Music

Let's begin the Christmas season with a very Club-worthy tune from The Waitresses!

Bringing back a Club favorite - you will face scorn if you are caught not Wanging Chung!

Anyone here named Sharona? If so, this one's for you!

Top 10ish Comments of the Week

Club ONT was brought to you by: Cliff the Camel. He's with the moose out front.

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Club ONT is a small business - sometimes smaller than others. Thank you for your support.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

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