Is This An ONT Which I See Before Me, The Handle Towards My Hand?

Evening Horde! Been rainy down here lately, how's the weather in your neck of the woods? Everyone in Tampa is dead.

I'm Gonna Live Forever!

Anti-Aging Cocktail Extends Mouse Lifespan by About 30 Percent

Scientists in Europe have tested an anti-aging drug cocktail in mice and found that it extended the animals' lifespans by around 30 percent. The mice stayed healthier for longer too, with less chronic inflammation and delayed cancer onset.

The two drugs are rapamycin and trametinib, which are both used to treat different types of cancer. Rapamycin is also often used to prevent organ rejection, and has shown promise in extending lifespans in animal tests. Trametinib, meanwhile, has been shown to extend the lifespan of fruit flies, but whether that worked in larger animals remained to be seen.

So for a new study, a research team led by scientists from the Max Planck Institute in Germany investigated how both drugs, on their own and together, could extend lifespan in mice.

Huh. Maybe soon it will be normal to live to be over 100. The article says that there are quality-of-life benefits too.

Fail!

31 Hysterical Fails From Last Week

I've been trying for years to buy one of those dividers you put between orders in the checkout line at the supermarket, but the cashiers keep putting it back.

Crime Spree

Florida Man Convicted For Pretending To Be Flight Attendant To Take 120 Free Flights

Some people pay for their flights with money. Some use travel card reward points. Others use frequent-flyer miles. Apparently, though, if you use "pretending to be a flight attendant" to get free flights, that's a crime? You wouldn't think that would be the case, but a federal jury just convicted Florida's Tiron Alexander for doing exactly that, finding him guilty on charges of wire fraud and entering into a secure area of an airport by false pretenses. According to the Department of Justice, Alexander took 34 free flights on one airline but booked more than 120 flights before he was caught.

So, how did he do it? He used airline web portals meant for pilots and flight attendants and then provided false "employer, date of hire, and badge number information." He also varied which airlines he claimed to work for, using about 30 different badge numbers across seven airlines. He also posed as a flight attendant on three other airlines. Perhaps most surprisingly, he was able to keep his scheme going for six years, beginning in 2018 and continuing through 2024, when he was ultimately caught. That means he flew for free, taking more than 100 flights, for six years, and no one noticed until just last year.

Pretty slick.

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Fight! Fight! Fight!

Historians dispute Bayeux tapestry penis tally after lengthy debate

In a historical spat that could be subtitled “1066 with knobs on”, two medieval experts are engaged in a battle over how many male genitalia are embroidered into the Bayeux tapestry. The Oxford professor George Garnett drew worldwide interest six years ago when he announced he had totted up 93 penises stitched into the embroidered account of the Norman conquest of England.

According to Garnett, 88 of the male appendages are attached to horses and the remainder to human figures.

Now, the historian and Bayeux tapestry scholar Dr Christopher Monk – known as the Medieval Monk – believes he has found a 94th.

Whichever one of them winds up being right will be the cock-of-the-walk.

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones

A Royal Skeleton in the Chapel

In June 1925 a sarcophagus was discovered in Dorset’s Sherborne Abbey and widely reported to be that of ‘Ethelbert’, a ninth-century king of Wessex. Decades of speculation followed, before, in 1952, the Royal Commission on the Historical Monuments of England dated the sarcophagus to the 13th century. This should have laid the issue to rest – but the tradition is still alive and well today.

Æthelberht and his brother Æthelbald, both now overshadowed by their younger sibling Ælfred (‘the Great’), were the third and second sons of Æthelwulf, king of Wessex. Both ruled briefly and relatively uneventfully in the mid-ninth century. The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle records that Æthelbald was buried ‘at Sherborne’, and Ælfred’s biographer, Asser, wrote that when Æthelberht too ‘went the way of all flesh’, he was ‘interred in honorable wise at Sherborne, by the side of his brother’. This much is rarely disputed.

Pretty big fight over some old bones.

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by poop:

posted by WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

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