First World Problems...

Friends, Morons, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury United Airlines, not to praise it.

The current business plan of United Airlines seems to be: "Sh*t on most of our customers while maximizing revenue and doubling down on Woke idiocy."

Luckily I have been able to avoid their short-haul flights and have been on their higher visibility routes, where they do pay some attention to customer service.

Sadly though, United isn't the only bad actor in the current state of affairs in air travel; the customers are often awful: Rude to the employees and their fellow travelers, ignorant or dismissive of basic rules of social interaction, and some percentage of them apparently do not know basic hygiene.

Please, thank you, a smile, and some basic courtesy go a long way. For instance, when a five-foot tall older woman is trying to put her bag in the overhead bin, offer help, especially if you are a six-foot tall 30-something. Don't put your bag in the overhead, taking up all of the space, and close it when there are very obviously other people who are going to use it. And don't plunk down in your seat and spread out so your foot is in the aisle.

No, I didn't do what I wanted to do, which was confront him and bop him in the nose for being an incredible asshole.

The flight attendant obviously saw this turd's rudeness and my trivial assistance to the older lady, and made it a point to attend to me, including that monstrous glass of bourbon. Unseen are the three glasses of champagne and the couple of pleasant chats! Sadly, she could do nothing about the breakfast, which may have been the worst example of scrambled eggs in the sordid history of aviation.

My parents taught me to say please and thank you and help people who need it. They taught me to treat those in service with respect...their position as waiter or flight attendant or garbage man is not a reflection of their position in society. We are not a country with a caste system, or royalty, or even rigid social classes. We are the ultimate egalitarian country, and our success relative to those with rigid social structures is a testament to the correctness of that.

So...what is the 1st World Problem?

That's a lot of bourbon, and I wasn't about to waste it, so I woke up with a bit of a thick (thicker?) head!

posted by CBD at 02:00 PM

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