Saturday Night "Club ONT" March 1, 2025 [The 3 D's]

Welcome to another presentation of Club ONT! A collaboration of your Sunday through Wednesday ONT Crew - The Disco, The Doggo, and The Dino. Don't make it awkward, the door is right there. Come on in! Socks are required if you are under 29. The rest of you - well, do whatever you want - as always. This --- is Club ONT!

[Disco says: Does Ace know about Club ONT? He has keys but is likely to lock himself out if he tries to get in.]

Saturday Night Joke

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says, ”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar.

Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says, ”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!”

Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man… ”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!” The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”

Club Veteran

Bad day to be a beer pic.twitter.com/fJMoYAO3gr

— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) February 20, 2025

[Doggo says: and the legend of Hoptimus Prime was born.]

Awkward family photos?
The Club is here for you

Drink of the Night - Painkiller

Painkiller Recipe:

Ingredients:
2 oz dark rum
1 oz coconut milk or coconut cream (such as Coco Lopez)
1 oz pineapple juice
2 oz orange juice
Freshly grated nutmeg
Optional: Pineapple wedge or orange wheel for garnish

Directions:
Fill a 12-ounce glass with ice
Combine rum, coconut milk/cream, pineapple and orange juice.
Pour over ice
Garnish with freshly grated Grenadian nutmeg

Originated and perfected at the Soggy Dollar bar in the 1970's, this smooth, full flavored rum cocktail has become the essence of Caribbean imbibing.

[Disco says: I originated in the 70s too. Not sure if I'm smooth and full flavored.]

Speaking of killing pain, this seems like a bit much for a test of a potential marriage material. Man Suffers Intestine Necrosis After Fiancee Electrocutes His Belly for 3 Hours as Pre-Marital Pain Test

The woman wrote on Chinese social media platform REDnote that her mother and sister suggested that she make her fiance experience the "pain of childbirth" before getting married to ensure that he would be more considerate of his wife. At first, the man opposed the idea vehemently, but she insisted and he reluctantly agreed in the end.

The grueling test took place in a maternity care facility run by the woman's sister. Using an electrical stimulation device designed specifically to simulate the pain of childbirth, the woman subjected her fiancee to increasingly stronger electrical shocks to the stomach for three hours. In her online confession, the woman wrote that she slowly increased intensity of the electrical current for the first 90 minutes, and then cranked up the power to maximum for another 90 minutes.

The horrific experience convinced him to not only break off the engagement but also sue the woman he was going to marry for damages.

[Dino says: they say dinosaurs have small brains? What kind of maternity care facility has electric shock equipment on hand?]

Club Musical Interlude

Digitally generated Club music.

Skeptic's corner:

[Dino says: sounds like fighting words to me.]

Top 10 (or so) Club worthy comments

[RedMindBlueState]

Hello?? McFly!

He'd be allowed in the Club

Tom Wilson played Biff in BACK TO THE FUTURE and was fed up of fans asking the same questions so wrote a very funny song about it. pic.twitter.com/zySvb6TG20

— All The Right Movies (@ATRightMovies) February 19, 2025

Club ONT is reluctant to offer fashion tips, but night has fallen. Dress accordingly.

Were you sufficiently whelmed this evening? If your Club ONT experience is unsatisfactory, lower your standards. Club ONT is not responsible for your lack of humor or rhythm. If you are interested in a refund, please send an email listing five things you did since the last Club ONT outing that helped contribute to a positive Club ONT experience.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:05 PM

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