The Saturday Overnight Open Thread (10/26/24)

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The teacher gave her students an assignment asking them to share a story with a moral ... Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "My parents once told me a story about morals." The teacher encouraged him to share and Johnny began, "There was a little bird flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While lying there a cow came by and pooped right on top of it. Strangely, the frozen bird in the pile of cow poop began to feel warm and great; it laid there all cozy and happy and even started singing. Just then a cat passing by heard the bird's song and went over to investigate. When the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow poop, it promptly dug him out and ate him." The teacher was stunned and asked, "Dear God, what was the moral of THAT story?" And little Johnny replied, "Well, it teaches us: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy; (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and, most importantly, (3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut. (H/T Kathy)

How about a second joke this evening?

Once upon a time there was a beer makers convention. The presidents of all the major beer makers were there. After a meeting, the heads of Coors, Budweiser, and Guinness went to the bar for a drink. The pres of Coors says, "I'll have a Coors Light." Likewise, the head of Bud says, "I'll have a Bud Light." The head of Guinness says, "I'll have a Coke." When the others looked at him he simply said, "If the 2 of you aren't drinking real beer, then neither am I."(H/T Ron)

It has been a while since Bill Burr was featured here. Let's remedy that.

Hairy palms, blindness and now squeezing injuries.

Masturbation isn't something any of us should be shy about, but when the mood strikes, some of us seize it a little too tightly.

To put it plainly, if you've got a penis, grabbing it too hard while pleasuring yourself could leave orgasms further out of reach.

It's what is known in slang terms as Death Grip Syndrome (DGS), though there's actually no official medical name for the condition.

My part of the Frozen Tundra is sunny South Beach compared to Norilsk, Siberia.

You may think living in the UK is grim, but one look at the Russian city dubbed the ‘world’s most depressing’ will leave you thanking your lucky stars.

Norilsk – an ex-USSR town deep in north Siberia – has been given this unenviable title by multiple sources over the years. And it’s not hard to see why.

The city sits within the Arctic Circle, with year-round snow and temperatures that peak at 9°C in summer yet drop to an excruciating -50°C in January.

The Fahrenheit temps are high of 48.2 and low of -58Formula
(°C × 9/5) + 32 = °F

So this is the modern day Max Klinger?

A gay man who fled Bangladesh to escape persecution had his asylum application refused after a judge told him he was ‘trying to pass’ himself off as gay.

Monsur Ahmed Chowdhury, 38, came to Britain as a student in 2009 from Sylhet, a city in northeastern Bangladesh, on a student visa after never feeling safe enough to be his authentic self in his native country.

Following years of applications, submitted evidence and rejections, Monsur had his application rejected by a judge following a First-Tier Tribunal, a court that handles immigration disputes, in March 2018 – because the judge didn’t believe he was gay.

WTF??? Genius Award Winner.

JESSUP, Md. (Gray News) - Dozens of people were hospitalized with food poisoning after eating a dish that one of their co-workers brought to work in Maryland.

According to the Howard County Health Department, paramedics were called to NAFCO Wholesale Seafood Distributors in response to a report of “multiple patients with food poisoning after allegedly eating the same food.”

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Experimentation. (H/T Iris)

Notice: Posted.......No one is here tonight.

Update: After tonight's ONT was composed I received the following from Jim
Sunk New Dawn Galveston, TX.

Outgoing Tide: As most anyone present at the TxMoMe might've noticed, I arrived with a zero load out of gear, and spent my time there with my ass pretty much firmly planted in my folding, pneumatic rocking chair. (six years until last year, MINE was the only such chair to be seen, there.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:49 PM

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