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Food Thread: Frozen Eggs And Mayonnaise Cologne? We Are In The End Times!

I could happily live the rest of my life on passed appetizers. There is something so incredibly pleasing about them that thrills the cockles of my gluttonous heart!

I was at a birthday party yesterday...90-f*cking years is definitely old! I hope I can eat tiny crab cakes, drink champagne, and mingle with my friends and relatives when I am that old! But the more important part was the food!

Passed appetizers are often unnecessarily busy, and that takes away from their purpose...a lovely snack to pop in one's mouth to accompany the booze. Don't make it to complicated or it will be a muddled and probably messy mess. A simple crab cake with a dollop of spicy mayo is damned near perfect. So is a pig in blanket! "Pigs in a blanket? Pigs in Blankets? Saucisse en croute avec moutard?

Anyway, they were mostly excellent, with the two I just mentioned, and a surprise guest...fried mac-and-cheese balls! That's a solid contender, and one that I might make at home. There were a couple more, including sliders that that teetered on the edge of violating the one-bite rule. I managed it, but I saw others struggling.

So...what's the consensus? The greatest appetizers? Share with the class!

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Food became much safer only with the advent of cheap energy. Refrigeration is possible because of oceans of electricity available 24 hours a day. And the food in that refrigerator was transported courtesy of cheap fuel, and it was sold to you at a reasonable price because of the power that farmers use to grow and process that food.

Energy is life. Cheap energy makes life possible for more people than ever before, and the conceit that we -- the richest people on earth -- get to dictate the cost of that energy, and by extension the lives of others, is offensive, and needs to be stamped out. Global Warming is an evil idea in many ways, but most of all because the people who will be most affected are those who are emerging from abject poverty, miserable lives, and early deaths.

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There's nothing quite like a Scotch Egg. I am not suggesting that it is the epitome of bar snacks, but it's unique. And let's be honest...a bit weird.

Sadly, many of the ones I have eaten are a bit overcooked. A dry and crumbly egg yolk is not my idea of a marvelous accompaniment to a good beer.

So why not freeze raw eggs, peel them, and then continue with the prep? I don't think I have ever frozen an egg, but I have read that it is possible.

I would take a standard recipe like Martha Stewart's Scotch Eggs recipe, and substitute frozen raw eggs. Then let them defrost after you have prepped them, and cook as usual.

I might give it a try. Or not. I would prefer that one of you lunatics take a shot at it and then report to the class.

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15 seconds of watching this man handle high-hydration dough will show why he is famous. Richard Bertinet's White Bread Masterclass looks so damned easy, but it most definitely is not. Most people can get very good at it with some practice, but this guy is a magician.

And I'm jealous.

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I'm not a big fan of peaches. They are okay, but I prefer other fruits in my crisps. But this one looks pretty damned good, and since it is definitely peach season, it's worth a peek.

I apologize for the usual irritating 17 paragraphs of blather before the recipe. Why oh why do these people think that it is the way to introduce a recipe?

Salted Caramel Peach Crisp

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It's not a joke. And it gets worse. There is Parfum de Mayonnaise, that as far as I can tell is an actual product.

[Hat Tip: Kathy]

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Good butter, and Flap Meat...whatever the hell that is...just send it, Broccolini that isn't $6/bunch, garlic...lots of garlic!, well-marbled hanger steaks and elk chops to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

Who are those poor deluded souls who shake their Manhattans? These are the same people who drink fine bourbon with coke, and probably shake red wine with ice too.

My and the world's patience has run out. Shaken Manhattans henceforth will be banished to the land of Long Island Ice Teas and Frozen Strawberry Margaritas.

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.