Overnight Open Thread (8/11/2024) [J. Edgar Phallenburger IV]

Is that Ace? Maybe...maybe not!

And what is his fascination with the shit-show that is the current Disney? Why, it's almost as if he had an unfortunate experience as a child at DisneyWorld. Like, for instance, he saved up for months to buy a Disney character that will remain unnamed (could it be a stuffed Baby? I'll never tell!), but when he got to the park, they were sold out!

Forbidden Coffee
The True Tale of King Harv's
Mars coffee plantation

Part 1: The Beginning

There are many things mankind is not meant to know about. One of these is the fact that Mars has been settled since 2002, specifically for the purposes of coffee cultivation. King Harv's Imperial Coffees Mars to be precise.

It started long, long ago. I am the son of King Harv, well known coffee tycoon and millionaire philanthropist. I was just a recent Chemistry graduate and Software engineer who had been tinkering for years on the topic of space travel. Specifically with the use of the metal wires steaming out of the Army's Hellfire missiles being used not for destruction, but as a dynamic bridge to the planets. Now each missile has a wire capacity of about 2.5 miles. The closest Mars would appear would be 34.8 million miles. Hence with only 13.92 million Hellfire missiles, with the wires spliced together, they could make it to Mars. Now, removing the explosive shaped charge of each missile, and extending the wire length accordingly, I figured we could get by with only 9 million Hellfire's. The next step was where to acquire or manufacture them. Or something similar to them.

The music around this establishment sometimes leaves one scratching his/her/it's head.

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [257 names] 'Miklos von un zu Miklostein' [36.07 unique names/day]
2 [249 names] 'Ciampino - Si Ispettore, gli astronauti sono prigionieri #09'
3 [160 names] 'Dr. Janet Craig MD'
4 [85 names] 'Learn the classics!'
5 [70 names] 'Not that I really care '
6 [50 names] 'pookysgirl, groggy froggy'
7 [46 names] '18-1'
8 [41 names] 'Intercepted DU Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison'
9 [41 names] 'Quarter Twenty '
10 [39 names] 'I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper'

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Send your scraps to El BizarroAce and the cobs on the shadow blog. Note that the mannequins are for display only unless otherwise marked. Do not taunt happy-fun ball.

posted by Open Blogger at 10:01 PM

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