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Food Thread: Don't Be Such A Sourpuss!

Sorry...it's a terrible photo, but that is a jar of soon-to-be homemade vinegar.

We have a fair amount of red wine, and for whatever unfair statistical weirdness we have hit a run of not very good bottles. I can't cook with it in those volumes, so I looked into making my own red wine vinegar, which is much, much easier than it sounds. And it sounds pretty easy!

My folks had a ceramic jug on top of the refrigerator (to keep it warm) where they dumped their crap wine. It gradually turned into vinegar with the addition of a vinegar mother that they purchased (I think). I am far too cheap to buy it, so I just used some raw apple cider vinegar that I have for pickling. I diluted the wine so the high alcohol wouldn't make the Acetobacter unhappy, and...um...that is it.

It's sitting on my work bench, which is in the warmest place in the house, merrily turning into what should be some pretty flavorful vinegar. And even if it isn't the life-changing experience everyone on the internet says it will be, I'll have a ton of vinegar to use for pickling and other fun things.

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My health isn't any of your business, and your health isn't any of my business! Yet that is a revolutionary idea! I am so very very tired of being preached to by a bunch of advertising copy writers and marketing departments who are convinced that if they just nag me and criticize me and hector me enough about the foods I like, I will magically stop buying the stuff I like and start buying the crap they are touting. And it gets better...they pretend that it is for my own good!

F*ck you. My food is my business. My health is my business. my choices are mine to make, not yours. if you want to eat bugs and grass and and not eat the wondrous foods that God and nature has provided for us, then have at it!

I. Don't. Care.

Just leave me alone.

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Commenter "someone who prefers not to be named" sent me this website last week, and as I went through it I realized that while there is nothing that seems to be spectacular, all of the recipes were solid and probably quite tasty. Some are not to my personal tastes, but the recipes themselves are still good.

I Am Homesteader does that irritating crap with commentary before the recipe, but it seems like that is now the standard. And while it chaps my ass, there are things like:

Marjoram is an herb with hints of pine and citrus flavor. If you don't have marjoram on hand, you could substitute oregano which is close in flavor.

And that's good information!

That was in her recipe for Jalapeno Cheese Sausage Patties, which sound like loads of fun.

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Commenter RedMindBlueState fixed me up with his mom's Gigantes recipe. It was more like a list of ingredients and a temperature, but damn, it worked great! He is now my go-to for Greek food recipes...

Next stop:

He tells me this is a good recipe (Spanish and Greek...they're the same...right?), so I am game! I think I'll use an outdoor grill for the last step, but it does look delicious!

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I have been playing around some more with sourdough baking, and as much as I tweak the timeing and forming technique, I can't manage to screw it up! I am becoming convinced that the only important thing is some skill at handling high-hydration dough. Once you figure that out, the world of sourdough is your oyster.

Or something like that!

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No asparagus! I'm sick of it, but Flap Meat...whatever the hell that is...just send it, Broccolini that isn't $6/bunch, garlic...lots of garlic!, well-marbled hanger steaks and elk chops to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

Who are those poor deluded souls who shake their Manhattans? These are the same people who drink fine bourbon with coke, and probably shake red wine with ice too.

However, I will give dispensation to those who use maple syrup on Brussels Sprouts! I tried that and it worked nicely. I still prefer Agave, but still...

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.