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Food Thread: Cheese, Strategic Advice, And Spinach!

Aside from Kraft American Cheese (individual slices of course), which is obviously the best cheese in the world, there are many hundreds of different cheeses made in most countries of the world, and a fair number of them are absolutely delicious. Sure, the French and the Italians make many of the greatest cheeses, but so do we! There is a fantastic cheese industry in America that is producing excellent cheeses...everything from commodity cheddar from Wisconsin and New York, to Buffalo Mozzarella from New Jersey and incredible goat cheese from California.

So the next time you are tarting up some cold cuts (the Frogs call them charcuterie!), try something American instead of the old standbys from Europe...

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How many thousands of acres of farm land are being taken out of production by these idiotic solar farms and wind farms? It can't be a trivial amount, because these sources of energy are not efficient, like for instance a nuclear power plant. It's hard to escape the conclusion that there are reasons other than saving the erf (Listen to Jim Lakely on the current CJN podcast for more on that topic) that these pathetically bad alternatives to proven technology are being pushed.

Every time the cost of food increases, there are people on the margins who can no longer afford their usual food and must seek alternatives, or simply do without. That means death in the poorest regions on earth.

Maybe these ghouls should consider their actions a bit more carefully...

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I am like a lot of people...I enjoy spicy food, and occasionally some really hot stuff. But again, like a lot of people, I try to restrict my activities to things that won't send me into convulsions of agony...or to the hospital.

Pepper X marks the spot as South Carolina pepper expert scorches his own Guinness Book heat record

"I was feeling the heat for three-and-a-half hours. Then the cramps came," said Currie, one of only five people so far to eat a entire Pepper X. "Those cramps are horrible. I was laid out flat on a marble wall for approximately an hour in the rain, groaning in pain."

I certainly don't begrudge this guy his business! If he can sucker the rubes into thinking that agonizing food experiences are things to be sought, then more power to him. But I have no interest.

I have a bunch of different hot sauces in Chez Dildo's cupboards, and I use them on all sorts of foods. It's fun! And tasty. But if one leaves me gasping for breath and rolling around on the floor trying to stop the pain, well, it gets tossed.

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Yup...I know...it's an acquired taste.

And I am quite happy that I acquired it! Especially since I can make pretty good sushi at home, because it is primarily a function of the quality of the fish (I live five minutes from a great fish store) and the way the rice is cooked. Nothing extraordinary. Although my rice is just okay. But I'll learn!

That's scallop with spicy mayo on the left. The rolls are surprisingly easy to make, and sort of fun! The nigiri (that's the classic fish on top of rice) is a bit more challenging, but still doable. It won't win any beauty contests, but they stay together and they taste great. Besides, if a food reviewer came to my house I would remind him of Dildo's axiom...Never get involve in a land war in Asia meals are meant for the pleasure of the company, and the food is a delightful bonus.

By the way, it isn't rocket surgery, so I am a bit puzzled by the cost of sushi in some restaurants. Not the commodity places that are everywhere...they are fast-food joints, usually with the quality to match McDonalds or BK or (shudder) Taco Bell. No...I am referring to the high-end places that charge hundreds of dollars per person. I can get excellent quality fish that is almost as good as what they get, so I know what they are paying, except maybe for the rarest and most expensive fatty tuna. And even that is now being farmed by the Aussies, and they are doing a good job! It's probably more a function of perceived quality and scarcity, but it just ain't worth the money.

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Yeah...that fun-sounding pork tenderloin wrapped in pancetta recipe I posted last week? Well, it pretty much resoundingly mediocre, and completely unbalanced. Far too much Dijon mustard, and far too much chopped sage. It was obvious that was the case, so I backed off both (and I usually am faithful to a recipe the first time I make it), but even with my modifications the dish was not a keeper, although the technique is a good one, so I'll happily steal that.
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On the other hand, I tried to replicate a steakhouse dinner last night, complete with creamed spinach. And while there are tons of recipes out there, a lot of them try to limit calories and make creamed spinach a pale reflection of the delicious and fatty versions that good steakhouses make. But that is just ridiculous. If I wanted to eat creamed spinach that was good for me, I wouldn't eat it at all.

Ina Garten's Spinach Gratin is a damned good recipe that comes close to a good steakhouse version. I'm going to play around a bit with the recipe, but I might just insert this into the Thanksgiving sides rotation. It was really that good!

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What's that? You've never heard of Sous Vide? Well this commenter has, and he uses it to make delicious-looking creamed honey!

"MkY"

We are making creamed honey, and temps are very important. We pulled some early spring honey that was VERY floral, and also prone to crystallizing quickly.

To make creamed honey, the honey needs be warmed to no more than about 110 (in order to melt the crystals but preserve all the goodies raw honey offers). We then use a creamed honey with the texture and silky mouth feel we are after, warm it, and mix at around a 10/1 ratio.

We target 95F as the temperature for mixing.

The sous vide warmed the honey in about 48 hours. Moving inside, it heated the 16oz seed jar in about an hour.

Mix the two (gently... no air, if possible) and put it in an area at around 57F. We use a temperature controller on a downstairs fridge for this. Mix twice a day, for two or three days, until the texture is right... re-heat to 95F and put it into containers.

1st pic is sous vide machine in a cut off 30 gallon container, with the honey bucket.

[2nd] is creamed honey, with a spoonful gone from a few days ago.

Creamed honey is shelf stable from now on (unless contaminated). Spreadable, but not syrupy. Ultimate honey!

I have tasted creamed honey, and it is every bit as delicious as it sounds!

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I have no idea why Weasel sent this to me...I am not anal retentive at all.

Besides, that guy isn't a real chef; he isn't using a micrometer or a scale that can weigh to 0.10 grams.

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The oyster imperative remains in effect, especially now that we are in the summer months. Yup, I'm not afraid of oysters in the summer! (Except that my usual source was sold out, so I am an oysterless Dildo, and you know how bad that is!) And send pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, garlic...lots of garlic! (but no basil! My basil is not doing well this year!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.