« First-World Problems... | Main | Gun Thread: Mid-July Edition! »

Food Thread:Lobster Rolls And G&Ts? Yes...I'll Take Three...Of Each

We've run out of tonic! Is something I never want to hear, especially during the summer. As drinks go, the venerable G&T is a good one, serving duel purposes...quenching one's thirst and protecting one from malaria, which is resurgent in America, thanks undoubtedly to our lax border control.

But I may be bucking the tide here when I say that using expensive gin is a silly affectation when half of the drink is a bitter tonic, and it also has some tart lime in it. Whatever subtleties you can taste in a gin are lost when it is accompanied by those things, so don't use your special bottle of Hendricks Gin for a G&T that you will happily guzzle while lounging on the patio or grilling some burgers or hiding from the humidity in a dark room.

On the other hand, there are some damned good -- and stupidly expensive -- tonics available that I think do make the drink better, but honestly, you can't go wrong with Schweppes or Canada Dry or even a supermarket house brand. It just isn't that subtle a drink!

Martha Stewart says it is a 3-to-1 tonic-to-gin drink, and just for that I am glad she went to jail. 2-to-1 is fine, but I let mine creep toward 1.5-to-1, especially if I am using a strong tonic. I think the pop of the gin should be apparent, and definitely some of the herbaceousness. If you can find a high-proof gin that will definitely help.

As for the limes? Yup! They belong. I usually muddle a quarter of a lime in the bottom of the glass so I get some of the oils from the skin as well as the juice.

And Ice? Yes! I am all for it! The Brits drank them warm, but as much as I like British drinking traditions, in particular their real ales drunk cool, I very much prefer an ice-cold G&T!

******
I didn't feel like ranting about anything today, but after 45 minutes looking for something interesting I have changed my mind.

The obsessive and tedious push in the food media to highlight every stupid and trendy recipe or restaurant as long as it is in obeisance to the Sustainable Organic Church of the Carbon Apocalypse, makes me want to throw things.

The left has no humor, takes no joy out of life, and is hell-bent on ruining OUR pleasure...thus their push to destroy even the elemental pleasures of food and cooking. And it seems as if they have their filthy little hands on every single food and cooking website, and that is not a function of the audience for those sites. I know lots of people who cook, and only one pays the least attention to that sort of drivel. I carefully avoid the mainstream sites that push politics...that's why you don't see Epicurious links anymore. I got sick of their incessant pandering to every leftist trope.

But from now on I am not going just to avoid those sites...I am going to write to them and explain why. I'll even be polite!

******
I Live in New England and I Don't Get the Lobster Roll Hype
That's because you didn't make it yourself. Lobster rolls are expensive because lobster itself is expensive, yields very little, and is labor-intensive to prepare. So those lobster roll joints are trying to squeeze every penny out of your lobster roll, and it usually shows. It's just like a cheeseburger at the corner bar. Sure, there are great ones, but most are just okay, and go fine with several beers and a pile of Cisco French Fries.

Get a hard shell lobster from a good purveyor, steam it* yourself until barely cooked, then pick the meat so that you have everything...including the hard-to-get stuff in the body and arms. Mix a selection of the meat with a tiny amount of finely minced celery, a bit of finely chopped parsley, salt, fresh cracked black pepper, and either mayo or drawn butter.

Then pile it on a freshly baked New England hot dog roll. Yes...freshly baked. Do it yourself!

Nobody ever said that simple foods are easy!

*I didn't say "boil," I said "steam."

******

I have been playing around a bit with the wonderful pita recipe that commenter "Moki" plagued me with.

Yes: plagued. Because they are delicious and I have no will power and can easily eat half an eggplant's worth of babaghanoush or most of a bowl of hummus with a coupe of those wonderful pitas!

It's not typical...most recipes call for a lighter bake, but I am also making them thicker, so they can stand up to a bit of color.

Next time I am going to fold one piece of dough and see whether it will make a sort of pocket so I can make sandwiches and such. And if it works, Moki's plan to make me gain 800 pounds will have succeeded.

******
Here is Chef John making Carolina Red Slaw, which is perfectly good, and I agree about hand cutting being preferable to food processor shredding, but...I just don't like finely chopped cole slaw. I think the great crunch from bigger pieces is the only way to go.
******
Is nothing sacred? it used to be called the "Weinermobile," but I guess that offended some blue-haired lunatic who thought it was sexist.

Here's what it takes to drive Oscar Mayer's iconic "Frankmobile"

[Hat Tip: Weasel]

******
Hmmm...licorice ice cream? That has possibilities, although I freely admit that it would be a bit weird. I do love real licorice, so I could suffer through a pint or four.

[Hat Tip: Blake]

******
The oyster imperative remains in effect, especially now that we are entering the summer months. Yup, I'm not afraid of oysters in the summer! (Except that my usual source was sold out, so I am an oysterless Dildo, and you know how bad that is!) And send pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, garlic...lots of garlic! (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

And yes, I used to demand fancy bourbon, but let's face it, $1,200 for a bottle of bourbon is just stupid, insulting, and a ghastly affront to most people's palates and wallets. I think the sweet spot is $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.