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Food Thread: It's A Sausage Fest!

I know, I know, I have sausage on the brain. But today is an absolutely perfect spring day, and naturally my thoughts go to food, cooked outside, and hopefully consumed with copious quantities of good beer.

There are lots of relatively complicated foods to be made on the grill, but sausages ain't one of them. It's about as easy as it gets, especially if you aren't some snooty sausage snob and buy your sausages already cooked. it's just a matter of getting them nice and hot and putting the appropriate char on them, and that is personal preference!

Then the condiments come into play. Obviously ketchup is to be shunned, and all right-thinking people laugh at those poor deluded souls who think that catsup is appropriate. Hell...you lunatics can't even spell the damned word!

So it falls to mustard, and that is just fine! Well, sauerkraut too, and maybe some chopped onions. But none of that neon-green crap you Chicago weirdos favor. It's disgusting.

And if you put chili on an otherwise fine sausage you and I are going to have words. And don't worry too much about the bun. The better the sausage, the simpler the bun. At least that's my new stance on the issue. But don't worry, that will change soon enough.

[Unfortunately I can't find Conecah Sausages anywhere. Supposedly PXs have them, so I might resort to begging NeverGiveUp to get them for me!]

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Most food advice on the internet and in our mass media is catastrophically wrong. Most people writing about food know less than nothing about nutrition, have no sense of proportion or seasoning or proper temperatures for meats, and insist upon declaring their new recipe -- that they have tested twice on humans -- to be the BEST!

It isn't. So read the recipe along with a bunch of others, and modify them to your liking...your palate...your preference*. Nobody can tell us what tastes great. All they can say is that it tastes great to them, and who the hell are they?

I'll make fun of you every day, and twice on Sundays for eating French Toast with maple syrup. But if that is your idea of a great food, then more power to you.

*Oh, and if you can't find a recipe that is worth a damn, then just make up your own. Think it through, think about proportions and how salty or sweet or spicy you want it, compare those proportions to dishes you already cook well, and go to town! I'll bet it will be better than the first 20 "BEST" dishes you can find on the internet.

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Yup...tuna is pricey, but it is also 100% meat, so there isn't any waste. Plus, my guess is that people just don't eat as much of it as they would a steak. At least that is true for me.

That is a tuna steak with an herb rub (parsley, garlic, Rosemary, S&P). Seared in a hot pan for a few minutes each side. Delicious, quick, and perfect for breakfast the next day!

I try to keep competing flavors to a minimum with foods like tuna. It's a delicate flavor, and drowning it with some highly-spiced concoction just doesn't make any sense. Why spend the money on expensive stuff if you are going to drown it in other flavors?

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Commenter "Kathy" sent this along, with The suggestion that only one of the dishes was interesting. She was of course correct, and it's just the technique that held my attention. But damn...it's a great idea!

Finger Food Recipes

I can't tell what the batter is, but if it isn't corn meal it should be. That would be tasty!

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And that video led to my descent into the rabbit hole of YouTube, which happens all too frequently. I'm not sure what I find appealing about this video...hell I don't even know what the food is. Was there any cooking?

The Juiciest Beef Ribs Baked in the Oven! Men will surely appreciate!

Seriously, while I appreciate the juiciness of the the ribs, I like my ribs with a bit of resistance to my teeth, and a little crust for contrast. That stuff is more like braised ribs. I'm sure it's tasty, but I would prefer a more traditional technique.

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We had a bunch of people over for a SundaySaturday Roast, and all went well, especially the interlude when we all watched the Kentucky Derby and my horse won! But feeding 10 people requires some planning, and trying new dishes without testing can be interesting. For instance, I like making roasted heirloom carrots. They look good, taste great, and are easy!

Well...easy for two or three people, but not for 10! peeling six pounds of carrots is a pain in the ass, and slicing them into three inch diagonals takes awhile, even with a freshly sharpened knife. But the biggest difference is that I needed more than one sheet tray, and I simply did not have room in the oven, so those carrots took much, much longer to cook than I had planned.

I covered that mistake by serving more booze, which almost always works.

On the other hand, I may have perfected my cauliflower gratin, and am ready to invite Bluebell over for a simple meal of oysters and gratin!

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[Hat Tip: Hrothgar]

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Just send me oysters. Lots of oysters, and I will provide special dispensation for those without taste who insist upon maple syrup with their French Toast. And pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.