Harry Markle: When I Applied The Cream to My Aching Penis, I Was Transported and Could Only Think of My Mum's Fragrant Lips

You do you, I guess.

I don't know the context for this, but I guess his dick got cold. The best context would be that he near-froze his dick off while training with the army in Afghanistan, and had this cream recommended to combat pre-frostbite.

That doesn't explain away the gratuitous association of the smell of the cream with his mother's lips, though. Not every stray thought needs be shared.

First I thought this was an edit of words from his audiobook, assembled together out of original context, but David Strom says this is all legit, from his quickie nastybook Spare.

My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive... and borderline traumatized. The last place I wanted to be was Frostnipistan. I'd been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She'd urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.

My mum used that on her lips.

You want me to put that on my todger?

It works, Harry. Trust me.

I found a tube... and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time I felt as if my mother was right there in the room... And I took a smidge and applied it down there.

The ick factor and squick factor here are high enough to warrant a Wellness Check with a complimentary Forensic Computer Frisk.

How did this strong, self-possessed man become an easy mark for a predatory narcissist with a talent for manipulating weak, needy men with mother-shaped holes in their middles?, asked literally no one.

Thanks to Robert - Metallica, 72 Seasons, Available 4/14.

posted by Ace at 03:35 PM

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