Daily Tech News 30 December 2022

• On November 1 the brave agents of the DHS were working tirelessly to eradicate all independent thought, we found out what Ikea charges for delivery to New House City, Twitter's Bureau of Censorship and Intimidation found itself locked out of its own intimidation app, Hodlnaut lost $190 million in the Terra implosion, Netflix brought Spry Fox, and gaming at 30fps - at 13760x5760.
  
  
• On November 2 lords of the trash heap, more high-level exits at Twitter, use one big server - which I will be doing next month though I'm talking 16 cores big not 128 cores as in this article, and HP announced 192 cores big servers.
  
  
• On November 3 SpaceX was building Raptor rocket engines 90 times faster that NASA was building RS-25s, AMD cut the price of the 5800X3D, currently the fastest gaming CPU or close to it, and Twitter was expected to fire half its staff.
  
  
• On November 4 AMD announced the Radeon 7900 XT and XTX, Ryzen 7000 systems were expensive because, and the Asus ProArt PA32DC covered 111% of DCI-P3, which includes colours normally only seen under the influence of peyote.
  
  
• On November 5 Twitter fired half its staff, I bought a slow cooker and in unrelated news gained five pounds in six weeks, Web3 was neither Web nor 3, Dell Australia was being sued for lying about monitor prices, and the executives of the collapsed MoviePass were facing jail time.
  
  
• On November 6 every tech company in the world announced layoffs, Intel had CPUs for sale or rent, rooms to let 50 cents, a new reactor design was not only cheap and compact but produced a waste product that sells for $15 billion a pound.
  
  
• On November 7 Twitter fired the entire team responsible for making up fake trending topics, Amazon randomised its music and broke Alexa, and Samsung's 236-layer flash chips enabled full-speed PCIe 5 SSDs which don't exist.
  
  
• On November 8 some guy on Reddit found a PDP-8 and an LGP-30, Arm wanted to kill Qualcomm's new Arm CPU, the Gateway Mini PC T8-Pro had three of each, and arbitraging the Overton Window.
  
  
• On November 9 crypto Ponzi schemes threatened to leave the US, FTX imploded, the IRS literally found $3.36 billion hidden in a popcorn tin, and the Dragonfly 44 galaxy turned out to be 99.99% mayonnaise.
  
  
• On November 10 FTX which had already gone from a $32 billion valuation to $2 billion continued along that path, passing zero and still accelerating, Binance briefly offered to buy FTX but then sobered up before they signed anything, and Amazon lost $1 trillion in market cap without even committing criminal fraud.
  
  
• On November 11 the server died, Intel pre-announced 56 core server CPUs on the same day AMD announced 96 core models, investors were preparing a $9.4 billion bailout of FTX before they too sobered up, and WeWork apparently still existed.
  
  
• On November 12 still more executive exits at Twitter, with the obnoxious Yoel Roth finally banished, bubbles, DevianTart went AI, and we reminded everyone to buy a Surface Laptop 4 while they still could.
  
  
• On November 13 FTX got "hacked" and any customer funds that hadn't already been set on fire disappeared, social media was dead, Crypto.com lost $416 million worth of ETH but found it down the back of the sofa cushion, KFC apologised for its Kristallnachtburger promotion and offered a coupon for a free box of Arbeitnuggets, AMD's 96 core CPUs benchmarked, and how NovelAI creates a frogcat.
  
  
• On November 14 how recessions unmask fraud, was Crytpto.com next, the site that warned everyone about FTX back in February, and Twitter fired 80% of its contract employees in addition to half the full-time staff.
  
  
• On November 15 crypto lender BlockFi said your money was safe - just don't ask where it is, PayPal would also steal your money if you didn't use your account, and Pipkin Pippa unleased vtuber Skynet.
  
  
  
  
• On November 16 tech industry job cuts were overblown, we were told by tech journalists on the same day their own company laid off its entire workforce, Sam Bankman-Fried went shopping for new suckers, and was it all a money laundering operation from the start?
  
  
• On November 17 Twitter employees were outraged at being expected to do their jobs, Amazon started its own mass defenestrations, the Star Labs StarFighter had the five essential keys, the Australian Stock Exchange cancelled the blockchain, and Lenovo announced yet another large high-resolution Android tablet.
  
  
• On November 18 Twitter achieve its 75% staff cuts, FTX sister company Alameda Research turned out to own $14.6 billion in counterfeit Monopoly money, Ticketmaster had a bad day, and Fred Brooks, project manager on the classic IBM System/360 and OS/360, passed away.
  
  
• On November 19 Twitter was dead for real this time you guys, Yoel Roth was secretly Hitler all along, China's home-grown CPUs offered the same IPC as Zen 3 but half the clock speed, and Google's new AI was racist.
  
  
• On November 20 Donald Trump's Twitter account was restored and the usual people reacted in the usual way, the Kronii Case, artifacts of range restriction, and with the entire management team fired and three quarters of its staff laid off Twitter suddenly managed to stamp out child porn.
  
  
  
  
• On November 21 CBS News left Twitter - for a day, journalists fled Twitter for Mastodon and immediately fucked that up too, the Apple II was the peak of efficiency, and you will never fix it later - at least not until you find out the whole thing will die in a week.
  
  
• On November 22 why was the whole tech industry imploding, Tumblr added support for ActivityPub so that it could infect Mastodon with brain-eating amoebas, Samsung's 3nm yields were really bad, wine was in a superposition of fake/notfake, Grayscale claimed to have $10 billion worth of invisible Bitcoin, and Alexa was losing about as much money per year as a major crypto scam.
  
  
• On November 23 the Radeon 6700 was pretty good actually, everything was bullshit, how news sausages were made (spoiler: the news doesn't survive any more than the pig does), and TSMC planned a $32 billion investment for a 1nm chip factory.
  
  
• On November 24 Twitter entirely failed to crash, Stable Diffusion 2.0 was out, and Amazon planned to spend $1 billion per year on crappy movies. Maybe they could just watch MST3K.
• On November 25 Europe threatened to frown at Twitter, mere amnesty was loosed uon the world - though not for me, the Playstation 6 was due sometime in 2028 maybe, and IBM sued Micro Focus.
  
  
  
  
• On November 26 the Great Amnesty began and the usual suspects blah blah blah, the Blue and the Grey and the Piss Yellow, Binance really had the Bitcoin it claimed, while Grayscale maybe didn't.
  
  
• On November 27 decentralised finance was show business for meth addicts, the hard problems in computer science, and cheaper Ryzen 7000 CPUs and motherboards were on the way.
  
  
• On November 28 private data for 5.4 million Twitter users - from a 2021 hack - was leaked online, Shopify's CEO told Journalists for Censorship to please go fuck themselves, and when undefined means undefined.
  
  
• On November 29 Britain abandoned its proposed -1st Amendment which would have introduced criminal charges for legal speech made by other people, the word of the year was gaslighting, Pinky and the Brain got caught out, and Epson stopped making laser printers.
  
  
  
  
• On November 30 Apple's App Store was a trash fire, I bought some books, MineCity 2000 mined 2000 cities, Snap told its employees to please show up to work for a change, and streaming TV was not just mostly crap, but mostly expensive crap.

posted by Pixy Misa at 04:30 AM

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