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December 21, 2022

Daily Tech News 21 December 2022

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  • On February 1 we scored some name-brand toilet paper, checked out PhoenixNAP, and hired an alien bug in a skin suit.

  • On February 2 Google made $20 billion in profit in a single quarter, the US Senate introduced a right-to-repair bill which has gone precisely nowhere, and it looks like the encoding of fancy quotes broke somewhere during the server move.

  • On February 3 the Wormhole cross-blockchain platform got hacked for $326 million which used to be a lot, the WD Black SN770 SSD was okay, the RTX 3090 Ti appeared but you couldn't buy one even if you had the money which you didn't, and not just boingy but super-boingy.

  • On February 4 someone crossed the streams when Nick Rekieta gave a shout out to Pipkin Pippa, the bullshit EARN IT Act came back, everything in the article was wrong, and a large Android phone with a stylus at a not insane price.

  • On February 5 GoFundMe decided to steal $9 million, Apple announced that it would take a 27% cut of every payment it didn't process, Facebook's stock price fell off a cliff, and Cisco's small business routers coded.

  • On February 6 GoFundMe decided not to steal $9 million after all, spam blacklists were out of control, Twitter unveiled its new hugbox feature which has since disappeared without trace, six more reasons why Facebook is doomed, and making Sus Nuggies for the Tongue-Stupid.

  • On February 7 acts of terrorism that never happened for $400 please Alex, the CEO of Spotify decided to divide the baby into equal sevenths, ENS went full Margaret Sanger, and we predicted a world of pain for American tech companies, which indeed came to pass though not exactly as expected.

  • On February 8 the USG DHS was on the LO for MDM, Gigabyte had shiny new haptops, Intel was bleeding cash on Optane, and Nvidia failed to purchase Arm.

  • On February 9 we were shopping for 4TB SSDs - which due to subsequent events are still waiting to be used, squaring the circle with a knife, the most profitable arrest in human history, RAID-Z expansion was go.

  • On February 10 SpaceX lost 40 brand new satellites - not due to a launch failure but a geomagnetic storm, Western Digital lost 6.5 exabytes of flash chips which still is a lot, accelerating Python by rewriting it in C, and whatever happened to that new season of Futurama anyway?

  • On February 11 Russia sentenced three teenagers to prison over a plot to blow up a government building - in Minecraft, GDPR violations all the way down, and AMD got approval for its acquisition of Xilinx.

  • On February 12 Twitter suffered a sudden total existence failure which unfortuntely was resolved, Cisco offered $20 billion in cash to buy Spatula City, and lake leaks got it right.

  • On February 13 Binance invested $200 million in Forbes - which is more interesting in hindsight than it was at the time, Sony offered a $3600 walkman, and the Big List of Bad Bots.

  • On February 14 two was one and one was none, someone misconfigured an S3 bucket, Sapphire Rapids vs. Milan-X only now Genoa is here and Sapphire Rapids still isn't, $2 million bug bounties, France went nuclear, and on second thought that was actually stupid.

  • On February 15 paying your taxes in Ugly Monkey JPEGs, a good $120 CPU, and Android virtual machines.

  • On February 16 you're blockchaining wrong, AMD's market cap exceeded Intel's - it's now less, but only very slightly, Akamai bought Linode for a not-insane price, Google was dying, and writing your own Minecraft server - in Bash.

  • On February 17 WE GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING. Oh, and Audible was stealing royalties from authors.

  • On February 18 Sethra Linode got us back onto the server farm, the Sydney region got hit by 150,000 lightning bolts, Wordle and Gizmodo were watching you, and all of Canada's major banks somehow experienced technical issues at the exact same time.

  • On February 19 New York was fucked, Nunchuck.io told Canada to get fucked, $1500 NUCs, and Google banned Apple.

  • On February 20 low-quality Twitter bots ahoy, and Clearview AI needed to be nuked from orbit.

  • On February 21 explaining the OpenSea heist as a Dortmunder novel, San Francisco tried to persuade workers to come back without any noticeable success, and yes we have no diodes, we have no diodes today.

  • On February 22 crypto engineers would welcome a prolonged "crypto winter" said a guy who already has all the money he could possibly need, Atlassian tried to wreck Australia's electricity, and Firefox was not okay.

  • On February 23 my internet was still out after being vaporised by lightning, the guy behind Ruby on Rails noticed the encroaching fascism, fuck you Samsung, the Aerocool Cipher had 15 drive bays and cost just $75 and isn't available in Australia, and IRS delenda est but that's nothing new.

  • On February 24 it was a bad day, I considered the possibility of moving out of Sydney, I had a ping time of two seconds to Google, and you'll never get rid of the Dane.

  • On February 25 I found a house I didn't end up buying - given what happened with interest rates since then probably a good thing, Samsung shipped two or three phones with flawed encryption, and forget I mentioned that.

  • On February 26 I got my internet back - temporarily as it turned out, the great unarchived HoloEN off-collab, Russia got shut out by the mean girls, poverty was relative, the USPS told the EPA to get fucked, and the Status Page Status Page.

  • On February 27 Elon Musk hadn't bought Twitter yet, LAPSU$ Darknesss hacked Nvidia, and Russia turned out to own $500 billion in fairy gold.

  • And then on February 28 I continued the home hunt in New House City, BitConnect's founder was charged with operating a $2.4 billion Ponzi scheme which used to be a lot, and Apple filed a patent for building a computer into a keyboard like (insert mile long list of prior art here).

Disclaimer: Bet you didn't know Golden Brown was a Brubeck original. Unless you were reading this blog, last February.
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