Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

A Music Thread [Joe Mannix] | Main | Daily Tech News 4 December 2022
December 03, 2022

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (12/3/22) It's Here, Zappa Month



The Saturday Night Joke

Guy and his Rottweiler Gustav go into a bar.

Bartender says "This is a respectable bar, we do NOT allow animals in here!"

Man says "This is no ordinary animal, this dog Gustav, is a talking dog!"

Bartender says "Prove it!"

Man says "Gustav, how does sandpaper feel?"
Gustav the dog says "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"
Man says "Gustav, what's on the top of a house?"
Gustav the dog says "Roof! Roof! Roof!"
Man says "Gustav, who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
Gustav the dog says "Routh! Routh! Routh!"

Bartender says "I have enough of this nonsense, you are both fakers, now get out of my bar!"

Man says "You're making a big mistake, but we will leave if that's going to be your attitude!"

The man and the dog walk to the door, but just before they exit, the dog turns back and looks at the bartender and says "Would you accept Joe DiMaggio as an alternative answer?" (H/T Hrothgar)


12 3 0nt.jpg

You either Love it. Or you don't get it. Ice fishing.

In many parts of the country, the temperatures are dropping, and the lakes and rivers are already starting to freeze up. If you haven't already thought about heading out for some ice fishing, odds are you'll be thinking about it soon. And we've got just the thing to help set the mood for hardwater angling to begin this year. This hilarious video comes to us from the brilliant minds behind the YouTube channel "You Betcha." These guys are masters of parody, especially when it comes to satire related to outdoor pursuits. In this video, they're breaking down the three types of ice fishermen. Yep, there are three of them.


The lack of physics meets: Karma, yes I ***SNORTED***


One of our national nightmares is over. Soccer.

U.S. — After the men's national team was dealt a crushing 1-3 loss by the Netherlands, the United States expressed deep relief to no longer have to go on pretending to like soccer.

"Hoo-boy, I didn't think I could keep that up another day," said local man Aaron Bronson. "Thank God for the Dutch!"

After twelve grueling days of trying to get excited about a ball mostly being passed backward, celebrations broke out across America as its World Cup run came to a close. "I know we only have to fake being soccer fans every four years, but it's been a brutal couple of weeks," said local bar owner Greg Jaster. "We scored three goals in SIX HOURS of soccer! And I have it on good authority from a Brazilian buddy of mine that our last goal was actually an accident. I'm trying to be a good patriot and cheer for our team, but come on.


I wonder how CBD would order this drink. Neat? Shaken? Stirred? PILK.

This holiday season, no one is safe. For those who aren't quite as hip with the kids as I am (being one myself), the disgusting mixture of Pepsi and milk (termed 'pilk') has been a bit of a meme in recent years, stemming from its humble origins on Laverne and Shirley.


I love Home Alone. I don't care about Harry & Marv's injuries. Do you?

It’s been 30 years since the Wet Bandits made the incomprehensible decision to go another 12 rounds with Kevin McCallister, in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. In a recent interview with People, reflecting on his experience filming the beloved sequel (which reeled in $359 million at the box office), Joe Pesci shared for the first time that one of his stunts while playing Harry resulted in an IRL injury.

“In addition to the expected bumps, bruises, and general pains that you would associate with that particular type of physical humor, I did sustain serious burns to the top of my head during the scene where Harry’s hat is set on fire,” he said. “[But] I was fortunate enough to have professional stuntmen do the real heavy stunts.”


The ONT Musical Interlude & Holiday Spirit Emporium




Them there is "Fighting Words", Karen Genius Award Winner.

DECEMBER 1--A Florida Man is facing a felony charge for allegedly striking a female Dollar Tree employee who called his wife a “Karen” during a dispute last night “over grocery bags,” according to court records.

Police were dispatched around 8:20 PM Wednesday to the discount store in Clearwater following an alleged battery on the 20-year-old worker.

According to investigators, Genesis Sanchez Canales, the Dollar Tree employee, got into an argument with a female customer over grocery bags. The customer eventually “began to videotape the victim due to the verbal argument,” an arrest affidavit states.

In response to being filmed, Canales called the woman a “Karen.” At this point, cops allege, the customer’s husband “open hand slapped the victim to her left cheek.”

When officers responded to the store, they arrested Jason Allen Dobyns, 41. Since Dobyns has a prior battery conviction, he was charged with a felony for allegedly striking Canales.


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Obedience.

12 3 br0ught.jpg

Notice: Posted without permission, consent and/or empathy by the weekend custodial staff of the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:56 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Skip: "Ohhhh, F-1 raced on Saturday in Bahrain because of ..."

Quint: "I’m seeking a better life can I go to San Di ..."

Skip: "Yesterday at kitchen table wife found a tick, kill ..."

fluffy: "The bluebirds have discovered our feeders. I count ..."

Quint: "I just had this weird feeling that for some reason ..."

Warai-otoko : "There's already a bunch of families here seeking a ..."

setnaffa: "I'm okay with those boxes of instant coffee+creame ..."

Field Marshal Zhukov: "This generation will be eaten alive. Gen. Solen ..."

fluffy: ">>> If they flower and don't have thorns or burrs ..."

Blonde Morticia: " gourmand, Yes, I'm in Cali. I'm aware of all the ..."

AmericanKestrel: "Deport every one of them. Even the kids born here ..."

Divide by Zero [/i]: " [i]And it's not "just" the Hispanics. The Chines ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64