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November 25, 2022

Florida Deputies Shoot the Dick Off a Firebomber

Ron DeSantis didn't ban all gender transitions.

Responding to a 911 call on Nov. 20, the sheriff's office dispatched deputies to a north Lakeland neighborhood to deal with a suspected arsonist who was throwing incendiary devices at a residence.

Sheriff Grady Judd indicated that 30-year-old Luke Neely, whom he characterized as a "bad man," had been throwing "Molotov cocktails onto a roof and at a house," with a mother, father, and their adult daughter still inside.

Deputies arrived one minute and 18 seconds after receiving the call. According to the sheriff's office, the first deputy on the scene witnessed the suspect throwing one of seven Molotov cocktails, two of which had exploded on the house. Other incendiary devices had reportedly caught fire in the yard.

When the deputy ordered the suspect to stop, Neely reportedly got into an older-model Chevrolet pickup truck and fled the scene.

....

Sheriff's deputies blocked and rammed the truck, causing a vehicle crash. The arson suspect did not, however, immediately surrender.

The Lakeland resident got out of the truck allegedly brandishing an "AR-style" rifle with a fully loaded .380 handgun on his hip and 57 rounds of ammunition to spare.

According to Judd, Neely began to run toward a tyrannosaurus rex statue on the perimeter of the theme park Dinosaur World.

Three deputies began shooting, firing a total of 10 shots. The suspect was struck twice in the right leg, once in the left leg, and once in the groin.

Judd said, "We've changed the looks of his groin forever, if you know what I mean."

Doctors say the prognosis is, unfortunately, "Full David French."

Sounds like these boys use the Dick-a-geddon remake of Robocop as their training film. Content warning: so many graphic dick shots.


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posted by Ace at 03:03 PM

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