Daily Tech News 10 November 2022

• The FTX crypto derivatives exchange which was valued at $32 billion five minutes ago is now basically fucked. (MSN)

  "FTX is fine. Assets are fine," said FTX CEO whatsisname just before leaping out of a ground floor window.

  Penthouse apartments in Central Park West are a bit of an ask when your net worth is measured in belly button lint.
  
  Do you people want regulators? Because this is how you get regulators. (Tech Crunch)
  
  Sequoia Capital wrote down its $210 million investment in FTX to, let's see... Zero.

  "Fuck this shit, we're out," said a Sequoia executive on conditions of anonymity.

  
  
  

• I mean, they were slightly more verbose in their tweet, but that's the gist.
  
  

  Here is the note we sent to our LPs in GGFIII regarding FTX. pic.twitter.com/Cgp1Yxk1pz

  — Sequoia Capital (@sequoia) November 10, 2022

  
  
  If only someone had pointed out that this is all basically either (a) a deliberate scam because the people running it are crooks or (b) an inadvertent scam because the people running it are idiots.
  
  Sometimes both at the same time.
  
  
  
• The contagion is spreading to other crypto bullshit, wiping who knows how much value off of totally imaginary nonsense. (Axios)
  
  Oh no, my ugly monkey JPEGs.
  
  
  
• Crypto exchange Binance which had offered to buy out and salvage the sinking, burning, plague-riddled, rat-infested FTX, has fled for the hills. (CoinDesk)
  
  They said something that sounded very much like "fuck this shit, we're out" but the line was bad and we couldn't be sure.
  
  
  
• Proving that these crypto boys are pipsqueaks when it comes to fucking shit up Amazon has lost $1 trillion in market cap in less than 12 months. (Gizmodo)
  
  The top five US companies have lost an aggregate $4 trillion this year.
  
  Which used to be a lot.
  
  
  
• Nvidia's GeForce RTX 4070 Ti may arrive on January 5. (Tom's Hardware)
  
  For those of you keeping track, this is the 4080 12GB edition that Nvidia unceremoniously disowned after it peed on the carpet in front of all the guests.
  
  
  
• IBM has announced its new 433 qubit quantum computer codenamed Osprey. (Tom's Hardware)
  
  In theory the capacity of a quantum computer doubles with each additional qubit because it extends into parallel universes like a season opening of Rick & Morty, so that is a lot. Still. Or used to be. Sometimes both at the same time.
  
  
  
• Installing Windows on innocent Android devices that did nothing to deserve this. (Liliputing)
  
  Today's victims: The Steam Deck and Microsoft's Surface Duo 2.
  
  
  
• In France, all large parking lots must now be covered in solar panels and/or snakes. (Electrek)
  
  The bill was rushed through voting and there's a smudge so nobody is entirely sure.
  
  
  
• The desk legs I wanted from Ikea are back in stock and it turns out that small items only incur a $29 delivery fee. Even if you buy like 15 of them.
  
  So while the world disintegrates around me I'll at least have legs for a desk that I won't order until February because I want to get everything at once because shipping furniture is too damn expensive.

posted by Pixy Misa at 04:04 AM

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