Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

« The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition | Main | Again: As Dan Bolduc Pulls Within a Statistical Tie of Maggie Hasan for New Hampshire Senate, Bitch McConnell Yanks $6 Million in Funding from the Race -- Because Bolduc Won't Commit to Supporting Mitch the Bitch as Senate Leader »
October 27, 2022

AP: If Every Little Boy and Girl Could Just Know the Sweet Sexy Power of One of Joe Biden's Taken-from-Behind Thunderhugs, His Approval Rating Would be 69%

As Megyn Kelly pointed out: Any defense of Joe Biden that resorts to telling us what a good hugger he is has gone badly wrong.

You know who was a great hugger? Jeffrey Dahmer. He did most of his hugging of severed body parts, but there was a real tenderness to his embraces.

Do you hear that sound? That's the sound of a death-gurgle in the back of The Regime's throat.

One handshake, one hug and one selfie at a time. If President Joe Biden could greet every American this way, longtime allies say, his approval ratings would soar.

Biden has never been at his best in big speeches, where his delivery can be stilted, his stories sometimes meandering. It's the end of his speech that often marks the beginning of Biden's favorite part of an event -- the rope line, in the parlance of political operatives. He whirls around, scans the crowd and zeroes in on his first target for a one-on-one connection.

It might be with someone like Tim Eichinger, a Milwaukee brewery owner who asked Biden a question during a TV town hall 20 months ago, and has since had a one-on-one videoconference with the president and seen Biden send a couple of letters to his grandson.

It might be a small child -- Biden likes to carry some cash so he can discretely slip kids a few dollars and encourage them to buy ice cream.


This repulsive throne-sniffing nomenkature is Zeke Miller, by the way. Back in 2012, he was a "journalist" assigned to follow the Romney campaign. He made special note that while campaigning, he passed by a house... with a confederate flag hanging from the door.

He really underlined that.

Do not allow Zeke Miller to babysit your children.


Zeke Miller is also the guy who erroneously claimed that the bust of Martin Luther King had been removed from the Oval Office on Trump's first day as President in 2017, and had to apologize for his error -- but not before a lot of media harpies gleefully relayed his error to the world.


Posted by: Stealth LOL

It might be someone who stutters -- they come in for special attention from the president.

Oh right we're still pretending Biden had a stutter, the stutter he never had before until it was needed to explain his obvious dementia symptoms. His dementia symptoms were explained as him "struggling to control his childhood stutter," something that he had shown no signs of for 70 years.

We're back to pretending about that again, huh, Zeke?

After Biden gave a speech on student loans on Friday at Delaware State University, there were plentiful handshakes and photos with the students on stage.

I bet there were a few full-lung sniffs, too.

Last Tuesday, at a Democratic National Committee event in Washington, Biden invited one audience member backstage for a private photo, autographed some of the abortion rights signs that participants had been waving and mugged in a handful of selfies.

What sex was the audience member invited for the private photo? I notice Zeke goes out of his way to avoid any pronouns here.

Let me put it bluntly:

Was she fingerable?

Aides say the 79-year-old has perfected his selfie arm, the products of which are widely shared on social media.


Scaling that kind of personal politicking to the presidential level has been a challenge, first as Biden campaigned for the Oval Office in the COVID-19 pandemic that curtailed his public engagements and now that he's in the White House, where the demands on his time -- and the security -- are greater.

Riiiiight, as if he didn't seize upon covid as a pretext to do no campaigning whatsoever and allow the leftwing propaganda to serve as his campaign army.

Gosh oh geeze, he really hated being in that basement!

They way he hates being in Reheboth Beach every fucking weekend, huh?

The hard fact, politically, is that one-on-one warmth and empathy only go so far.

He really seems to enjoy the warmth of young girls ages 8 through 12.


Still, Biden insists that time be built into his schedule so he can interact with people at his events -- such encounters seem to energize him...

I know, Zeke. It's called "adrenochrome." It's what he's sniffing for.

It excites all his tumescent glands.


There can occasionally be awkward moments, too, such as when a presidential quip lands poorly, that in today's partisan environment are often broadcast online by his political rivals.

Just his rivals. Only his rivals notice that he frequently speaks in cthonic tongues unknown to surface-dwelling man or begins to wander around in strange patterns as if he's trying to communicate with invisible bees about where the closest adrenochrome-filled flower can be found.

Get ready for this.

Oh you won't be ready for it. So I'll prepare you for it.

One of his aids is going to tell you that this 79 year old man, who was just seen visibly falling asleep mid-sentence in an interview with Presidential Fellatrix Jonathan Capehart, really "wears out" the much-younger staff with his ever-abundant bodily energy.

I've warned you, but you still won't be ready for it when you read it.

But they are outnumbered by the positive interactions that have defined Biden's career and tested the stamina of his aides.

"He outlasts us," White House deputy chief of staff Jen O'Malley Dillon told The Associated Press of Biden's penchant for spending 30 minutes, an hour, sometimes longer shaking hands.

Wow, he spends a full half hour shaking hands, sniffing hair, rubbing his pelvis into the hindquarters of adrenochrome-rich young girls.

What a marvel.


Biden, aides said, seems to detect when someone may be going through a personal or family crisis -- perhaps informed by his own experiences with grief and challenge: the death of his first wife and daughter in a car crash, the loss of his son to cancer, his recovery from a pair of life-threatening brain aneurysms, a decades-long struggle to overcome a stutter.

Right, the Greatest Hits Playlist, including the new single, Childhood Stutter, that was written and released in 2019.

"He just instinctually knows how to show up for what that person needs in whatever way that is," said O'Malley Dillon.

And then he makes up a lie without conscience or scruple to ingratiate himself with and manipulate that person. You know, the way psychopaths do.

Goepfert followed steps behind Biden at hundreds of events during the campaign and in the White House before he left in August. "I've seen him comfort people who were in tears talking about their personal hardships, console somebody who's recently been diagnosed with cancer, honor a veteran servicemember with a handshake and one of his challenge coins, and also give a young person money for ice cream just for sitting through the speech -- and all in the same rope line," he said.

Clinton did too. It's called being a Malignant Narcissist. They feed on attention. It's not a good thing.

As Biden works his way through a crowd, he'll often summon an aide to take someone backstage for a photo, collect their information for follow-up, or jot down the phone number of a loved one who couldn't be there for a surprise call from the president.

Just like Gene Simmons or Ted Nugent sending out their roadies to invite certain comely ladies to come backstage after the show. What a fucking hero.

Meanwhile, remember this?

The Ruthless Podcast guys pointed out that after this disaster, when Biden could be seen taking a narcoleptic nap in the middle of a question, the Presidential Fellatrix Jonathan Capehart rushed out to tell everyone no, no, don't believe your eyes, Biden is as "sharp" as ever and just full of piss and vinegar, Jack!

This. Is. Journalism.

"Folks, listen to me. Biden is just fine. More than fine. In fact... I came away with two overwhelming impressions: Biden is totally going to run for reelection in 2024. And he doesn't just like being president; he loves the job of president."

Commander in Chief of Child-Sniffing.

So I'm going to rip the Ruthless Podcast guys off one last time because this is another great point. Remember when Biden started babbling and walking in circles and then started up with the Creepy Whisper about curing cancer?


The Ruthless guys had a great explanation for that. Biden can't talk about the economy -- it's in shambles. He can't talk about the country -- it's a crime-ridden hellhole. He can't talk about foreign policy -- by his own estimation, he's walked us -- well, clumsily shuffled us -- the edge of a nuclear apocalypse.

But he wants to talk up his presidency.

So what's he do?

He decides: "Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I'm going to cure cancer in the next coupla, three months. Hold tight, Jack! Cancer cure on the way! My word as a Biden! No joke!"

It's cruel verging on monstrous, always holding out to cancer patients that Sheriff Joe is about to cure cancer, whenever he needs a 2-3 point boost in the polls.

But this sad vicious r4pist is the best, most honorable man David French knows.

An excerpt from that segment here:

Actually I got this whole post from that segment. Sorry, Stealsies.

The full segment starts here.

Oh: explaining the adrenochrome references. Adrenochrome is, I've heard, talked about by QAnon. I heard Chrissie Mayr making a joke about it, I think on Nerdrotic.

I think adrenochrome is just adrenaline except... when it's outside the body, it turns a color that can be seen under a microscope? Or something?

There were some claims in the 60s that injecting other people's adrenochrome could do... something for you? It does nothing for you, I think, except what your own adrenaline does. Because it's adrenaline.

I think the QAnon-ish version is that adrenochrome is harvested from frightened children, or something? And then injected by decrepit Regime Archons like Biden to feel youthful?

I'm making the joke not because I believe in any of that, but because 1, I think it's kind of funny to just joke about "adrenochrome-rich children," because 2, pearl-clutching faggots like Jake Tapper will freak out if you make Forbidden Jokes and I like upsetting pearl-clutching faggots like Jake Tapper.

Not to ruin the joke by explaining the joke, but a big part of humor is trying to find out what you're Not Allowed to Joke About and then joking about it. When I heard Chrissie Mayr mention adrenochrome, then I looked it up (because it seemed like a neat word), I was like, "Oh hell yeah, I'm definitely not allowed to talk about that, that will definitely make Jake Tapper very very Concerned!"

The Hall Monitors of the media like spazzing out about anything Q-related. Even if you tell them you don't believe it and are saying it to bother them, the Margaret Dumonds of the Media will say, "But you're encouraging others to believe it, and making it socially acceptable to traffic in conspiracy theories!"

Ummmm... tell me about Trump paying prostitutes to piss in Barack Obama's bed again, Fake Jake?

Tell me about Trump's computer gaining HAL-like sentience and starting a chat session with the Alfa Bank computer again, communicating through a artificial language that only they understood, made up of a secret syllabary of spam ads?

Yeah fuck you and "making it socially acceptable to traffic in conspiracy theories," lunatic asshole statist Mind Controllers neoliberal pigs.

By the way, Chrissie Mayr just got a fake strike, probably due to a mass-reporting campaign by leftwingers trying to take away her income.

digg this
posted by Ace at 12:00 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
whig: "Yeah, they poured water on them and let them freez ..."

CharlieBrown'sDildo: "The combo of a light mounted on the pistol makes i ..."

Tonypete: "Good evening everyone. ..."

Schnorflepuppy [/s] [/b] [/i] [/u]: "ONT nood. Thanks again for a great thread! ..."

Blanco Basura - Z28.310 [/i] [/b] [/u] [/s]: "Yay, Pistol Patent Day ONT! ..."

Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ [b]This[/b] year in Corsicana - [i]again[/i]! ~ [/i][/b][/u][/s]: "My Sunday is now compleat! ..."

G'rump928(c): "[i]Whig, what made the BM-59 so much better? Post ..."

whig: "264 Possible. Depends on the bullet weight as I th ..."

LenNeal: "Holsters are like work boots/shoes, kind of. Espec ..."

Eromero: "CBD, my Crossdraw holster for driving took over a ..."

N: "Should I buy or avoid a TriStar Viper G2? Posted ..."

TRex: "Need to say thanks to the horde before the ONT eme ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64