The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition

The news out of Balmoral Castle is not good. Queen Elizabeth II, 96 years old and the longest reigning monarch in British history, is under her physicians' care out of "concern." Supposedly her family is converging on her summer home in Scotland to be by her side. The traditional understatement of the crown's public comments would suggest that her health is failing and the end of her reign, and possibly the end of the monarchy is near.

We fought a war to get out from under the British monarchy's jackboot, and I have nothing laudatory to say about a political system based on the divine right to rule. The concept of a "Royal Family" is offensive, and a cursory examination of the dissolute products of those families will bolster my contention that genetics is an awful way to choose one's rulers.

But the United Kingdom is holding on by a thin and worn thread, and it is entirely possible that the only thing that tethers this sadly decayed country to any semblance of sanity is the solid, private, very British Queen Elizabeth II. In a sea of stupidity and vapidness, her hold on the monarchy and the British psyche was strong. The next in line is the moronic Charles, whose claim to fame is coarse sexual banter with his mistress, awful taste in architecture, and a willingness to minimize the glories of Western civilization and embrace every crackpot 3rd world idea over his country's magnificent history.

The reign of Charles will be the final nail in the coffin of British greatness. The Magna Carta, the creation of Great Britain, the industrial revolution, the incredible Indian adventure, the Napoleonic wars, World War I, World War II...all lead to sordid and sleazy and stupid Charles, the epitome of inbred idiocy.

James I was called "the wisest fool in Christendom." Perhaps Charles will be "The stupidest fool in Christendom?" It is difficult to imagine anything he would do that would support and defend his nation's glorious history. But I can certainly imagine some sort of chaotic post-modern British monarchy, filled with groveling apologies to...everyone. Will it be a matter of years, or perhaps months, before a minaret is built atop Buckingham palace? Will Nelson's Column be torn down and replaced with some horrid monument to Britain's cruelty to the savages?

Regardless...I have a grudging respect for Elizabeth, and I hope that her last days or months or years are peaceful, and that she is given the respect that she has earned for her many years as the queen.

posted by CBD at 11:00 AM

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