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Food Thread: Does Anyone Have A Recipe For Elephant Seal Edition

Yes, yes...I know. There are some things that shouldn't be eaten, but lightly fried shrimp heads to accompany "Ame Ebi" (raw shrimp) should be delicious enough to break your rule!

That was at my favorite sushi restaurant in Los Angeles, which means the only one I ever go to, because I don't much care for the City of Angels, so it is only when passing through or out of necessity that I eat there. But it really is a good place, and surprisingly affordable! It's called Noshi Sushi, and it has been around forever!

But this brings up an interesting topic, and one that we often discuss: what foods are beyond the pale? For me, it is mostly fermented stuff that in a sane world would be discarded, and never discussed, because another and more accurate word to describe them is...rotten!

What about you? Anything weird is of course fair game, but what about stuff that most people eat but that you simply cannot abide? Obviously maple syrup on French Toast is in the weird category, but I know people who won't eat chicken livers or peanut butter or tomatoes or...

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Long-time commenter, cookbook master and, sadly, a guest of the state for her shivving prowess sent me a link for flavored balsamic vinegar. That to me is like salsa in NYC. It is an unconscionable affront to all that is good about food. There are some things that should not be adulterated, and balsamic vinegar is one of them! This one...Espresso Dark Balsamic...is worse than most, but any addition to what is a delightful food is too much.

Be better Bluebell...Be better.

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However, she also sent along this recipe for one of my favorite foods of all time: Pecan Pie. In this case the adulteration of an almost perfect dessert adds complexity, and the chocolate (bitter of course) can cut the sometimes too-sweet flavor of a plain pecan pie. Not mine of course...my pecan pies are just the right blend of nutty and sweet and crunchy and buttery and...

Damn. I want one right now, and I think I have some pecans in the cupboard!

Kentucky Bourbon Pie sure does sound good. How can it not be? Bourbon and chocolate go well together, and pecan pie is pecan pie, so we are all set. Now if Bluebell will only come to my house and teach me how to make perfect pie crusts, all will be right in the woeld.

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Did anyone know about this? Apparently Beyoncé's husband is part owner of a champagne house and its products are not only part and parcel of the rapper life, but also well regarded by the wine industry!

What the hell? Is this why Ace has to harvest hobo skins and sell them? To afford $350+ champagne?

And irritatingly, it is good. Not $350 good, because that is simply conspicuous consumption, but still...Jay Z's 'Ace of Spades' Champagne: Tasting the range.

‘If you put aside the bling bling packaging and the high price tags, the content of the bottles is actually quite impressive,’ said Decanter’s former tasting director, Christelle Guibert, after sampling the range in 2016.

That's nice, and a little surprising, but I'll never buy a bottle. I love champagne, but there is plenty to be had for a fraction of the price of this stuff.
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This looks pretty damned delicious, and if I have the time I will certainly make it, or something like it, one day...when I have the time!

plum and cream scone cobbler

But cobblers and crumbles and even pies rely on the quality of the fruit, and while soaking a scone in syrupy fruit mess probably tastes good, why go to the trouble when you can make a crumble, or even a pie, in less time and still get the same delicious result?

It does look lovely though, so maybe part of it is aesthetic...

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Yup! I am starting a fight. Chicken Fried Steak on California's Central Coast is excellent, and better than the version I have had in Texas. Was the Texas grub good? Sure. But Paso Robles has at least three joints that made it better.

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Just send me oysters. Lots of oysters, and I will provide special dispensation for those without taste who insist upon maple syrup with their French Toast. And pork rib roasts from the front end of the pig where all the good and fatty meat lives, carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that the rest of you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm still watching you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.

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Addendum

Rhomboid's Red Onion Jam

• 1/4 cup olive oil
  
• 4 red onions, peeled, cut in half from top to bottom and thinly sliced
  
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
  
• 1/2 cup dry red wine, preferably Syrah (I use port sometimes, and reduce the sugar)
  
• Kosher salt to taste

Saute the onions in the oil on medium heat until sweating and limp (the onions, not you).
Add sugar and stir for a few minutes until melted.
Add wine/vinegar, simmer/reduce until you have a semi-gooey mess.
Add salt to taste - I also put in some fresh ground black pepper.