Quick Hits

Why did I do that?

Because one of you is Deserves It. You know who you are.

So now that everyone has caught up with the Smart People (us) and understands that Biden isn't running for anything except the bathroom in the future, there's a scramble to be the nominee.

Gavin Hairgel is pushing himself, of course.

And for some reason people are pushing ultraliberal Governor JB Pritzker of Illinois.

Now, this is a little interesting: Marc Elias, who served as the cut-out between Hillary Clinton and Fusion GPS and Christopher Steele and the Michael Sussman -- smearing her illegal conspiracies with "lawyer-client privilege" -- is pushing Pritzker.

Marc E. Elias @marceelias

JB Pritzker is the most effective governor in the country on either side of the aisle. Not even close.

I mean it's an obviously stupid and false statement. That's not interesting; you expect that from any leftwinger.

What's interesting is that he seems to be overlooking his client Hillary Clinton in the contest to replace Non-Stutterin' Joe.

Hunter Biden, the Smartest Man Joe Biden Knows, has brought great Honor upon the House of Biden again.

He filmed himself -- of course; he's the World's Oldest Millennial -- smoking crack, drinking White Claw (again, World's Oldest Millennial), and touching and "fondling" himself in a sensory-deprivation tank.

Apparently he doesn't understand what "sensory deprivation" means.

Even more hilariously, he was at the spa, and in the tank, as part of a... drug detox program.

So he was in a drug detox spa smokin' crack and chokin' chicken.

That tracks. That tracks.

Isn't taping yourself pulling your own pud a... gay thing?

And now that I think about it: Is there any reasonable chance that Hunter Biden hasn't had just as much dick going into him as he's been slinging into hookers?

He begged Joe Biden to wire him $75,000, which Joe did. Hey, it's all from the same collective family slushfund anyway.

And Hunter was just a guest at the White House.

A friend says: Even a blind squirrel finds a nut some days. And so do squirrels on crack cocaine. Hunter Biden calls "Doctor" Jill Biden a cvnt in texts.

Hunter Biden called his step-mom Jill Biden a "vindictive moron" and "entitled c--t" in text messages after she urged him to go to rehab to kick his drug habit, according to a new report.

President Biden's 52-year-old druggie son made the remarks in a string of text messages that he sent in 2018 as he family were rallying to get him help, The Sun reported.

In one particular text sent to his brother Beau's widow, Hallie Biden, who he was scandalously dating at the time, Hunter went off on the now first lady.

"F--k my stepmother for always being as much of a selfish silly entitled c--t as you," he wrote to Hallie as their brief relationship deteriorated.

He also admitted to calling his stepmom a "f--king moron, a vindictive moron" in a separate text exchange with his uncle, James Biden, just days later.

In the texts to his uncle, who is President Biden's brother, Hunter said he had raged to Jill that he was smarter than her.

"And you do know the drunkest I've ever been is still smarter than you could ever even comprehend and you're a shut [sic] grammar teacher that wouldn't survive one class in a ivy graduate program," Hunter said in the text.

"So go f--k yourself Jill let's all agree I don't like you anymore than you like me."

These two Nobel Laureates arguing about who's smarter is like two snakes arguing about who could win a dunking contest.

The Secret Service insists: Madison Cornbread is lying.

In fact, the Secret Service says that Tony Ornato, the Secret Service agent who was the head of White House security, was in his office during this and could not possibly be the first-hand witness relating what he saw in the limo to Madison Cornbread. He wasn't in the limo.

In fact, no one was in the limo; they were in an SUV, but apparently everyone's pretending that Madison Cornbread didn't already get caught in that cornfabulation.

The Secret Service is doubling down on its denial of an alleged altercation between former President Trump and his security detail on Jan. 6 of last year, providing a rare defense of Trump's actions that day amid mounting evidence that he tried to orchestrate a coup from the White House.

...

"There's a lot of what Ms. Hutchinson said that is true. Certainly [Trump] wanted to go to the Capitol, that much we know. He said that publicly, he reiterated that inside the car," a source close to the Secret Service told The Hill on Tuesday.

But the agency has also pushed back on Hutchinson's account that Trump lunged for the SUV's steering wheel, and then toward the neck of Secret Service agent Robert Engel, after being told he was going back to the Oval Office -- and not to the Capitol -- following his defiant speech on the Ellipse.

Those acts of aggression, Hutchinson said, were relayed to her at the White House shortly after the rally by Tony Ornato, who upset Secret Service tradition by temporarily serving as Trump's deputy chief of staff for operations. Engel was in the room during that conversation, she added, and did not dispute the details.

Both Ornato and Engel, who remain active Secret Service agents, have said they are willing to testify under oath to dispute Hutchinson's narrative, even as they have refused to speak publicly about it. The unnamed driver, the agency has signaled, is also denying her account.

"Ornato is a red herring," the source said, noting that he was in his office at the time and not at the rally.

"There are three people in that vehicle: Bobby Engel, President Trump and the limo driver," the source said, and both agents are "saying that did not happen."

In denying Hutchinson's second-hand account, the traditionally taciturn Secret Service has stepped into a firestorm of political controversy, lending ammunition to Trump's allies, who are playing up the dispute in an effort to discredit all of Hutchinson's testimony.

LOL. How underhanded of us, pointing out that the people actually present dispute what Madison Cornbread says they witnessed, just to "discredit" her!

Why, it's as if mere facts matter more than the all-encompassing imperative of Getting Trump!

That's such 2014 thinking, Comrade!

CNN's grunting silverback John King says of Democrats' willingness to be seen with Biden on the campaign trail: Expect a lot of claims of "Scheduling conflicts."

Grampy Repeat-The-Line repeats his line and claims that the assassination of former Japanese PM Shinzo Abe is chiefly a "gun violence" morality tale.

Prediction Time: Will Biden be able to stop himself from going in for a Patented Sniff on gymnast Simone Biles, or not? Place your bets then check.

The White House Assistant Press Secretary lied -- that's not the story, hold on -- by claiming that Biden didn't read "repeat the line" off the teleprompter, but said "Let me repeat the line," which is what he definitely did not say.

YOU put the medal on backwards.

posted by Ace at 07:01 PM

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