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Daily News Stuff 27 December 2024
On The First Day After Christmas My True Love Gave To Me: An ONT! The Simple Life Cafe Flying Bears Open Thread Ebenezer -- Christopher Nolan's Dark and Gritty Reboot of Ebeneezer Scrooge's Origin Story New York City 1899 Open Thread Diving Doggo Open Thread Buck Rogers Disco Open Thread Battle of the Network Stars Open Thread The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Absent Friends
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March 12, 2022
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (3/12/22) $pring Ahead Bull $h!t Edition
Ever since I was a child, I've always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him, "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared and I think I'm going crazy.” "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come in and talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears." “How much do you charge?” "Eighty dollars per visit", replied the doctor. "I'll sleep on it", I said. Six months later the doctor met me on the street. "Why didn't you come to see me about those fears you were having?" he asked. "Well, eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck." "Is that so?" With a bit of an attitude, he said, "and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” "He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now!” FORGET THE SHRINKS, HAVE A DRINK AND TALK TO A BARTENDER! ITS ALWAYS BETTER TO GET A SECOND OPINION! (H/T Hrothgar)
STOMPED TO DEATH' ‘Loose’ camel kills two men in front of families at petting zoo in Obion, Tennessee, as they tried to help catch animal
I'll be honest. I don't mind having a McDonald's meal once in a while. But, this guy really likes McDonald's. A Russian person has stockpiled McDonald’s burgers after it was announced all locations would temporarily shut in the country.
A Definitive Ranking of Every Girl Scout Cookie
I wish I had seen this around Valentine's Day. Any time two household appliances can be merged into one is a big win for those living in a small apartment, but while a garbage can isn’t exactly an appliance, upgrading one with a built-in vacuum cleaner is kind of a genius idea because it eliminates the extra step of emptying a standalone vac.
Who is the Genius Award Winner here? The idiot leaf blowing before 8AM? Or the neighbor who woke up and pulled a gun? You decide. There is no wrong answer. ARCH 9--Wearing a bathrobe and a holster on his hip, the owner of a $1.1 million Florida home threatened to shoot his next-door neighbor and the man’s dog in retaliation for the victim's 7:45 AM leaf blowing, according to police.
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Daily News Stuff 27 December 2024
On The First Day After Christmas My True Love Gave To Me: An ONT! The Simple Life Cafe Flying Bears Open Thread Ebenezer -- Christopher Nolan's Dark and Gritty Reboot of Ebeneezer Scrooge's Origin Story New York City 1899 Open Thread Diving Doggo Open Thread Buck Rogers Disco Open Thread Battle of the Network Stars Open Thread The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Search
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Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |