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« Justin Castreau's State Police End Peaceful Protests at Ambassador Bridge | Main | Quick Hits »
February 14, 2022

Hollywood Is Dying and Jessica Chastain is the Grisly Angel of Death Dragging It to the Grave

Two stories I've meant to write about for a while.

First, woke is killing Hollywood, and the white liberals are starting to complain that they are blacklisted. Or, whitelisted.

Hollywood will barely dare whisper it but the woke revolution that has driven out white men and ensures that every production is ideologically sound will kill the entertainment industry, writes PETER KIEFER and PETER SAVODNIK

...

We spoke to more than 25 writers, directors, and producers--all of whom identify as liberal, and all of whom described a pervasive fear of running afoul of the new dogma.

This was the case not just among the high command at companies like Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu, but at every level of production.

How to survive the revolution?

By becoming its most ardent supporter.

'Best way to defend yourself against the woke is to out-woke everyone, including the woke,' one writer said.

...

'Everyone has gone so underground with their true feelings about things,' said Mike White, the writer and director behind the hit HBO comedy-drama 'The White Lotus.'

'If you voice things in a certain way it can really have negative repercussions for you, and people can presume that you could be racist, or you could be seen as misogynist.'

...

'Now, they'll just say, 'Sorry, diversity quotas. We're just not allowed to hire you,' said a 48-year-old white, male comedy writer who was recently dropped by his agent.

Zack Stentz, a writer and producer who was a screenwriter on 'Agent Cody Banks' and the Marvel movie 'Thor,' said, 'A really toxic thing that does happen is that agents will tell their clients, especially white clients, when they don't get a job, 'Oh yeah, it's because they had to hire a minority writer.'

Stentz added: 'Even if it's true, it's not a helpful thing to say.'

Note the suggestion that the truth should be covered up for the sake of, what, protecting diversity initiatives?

One showrunner, afraid to send his emails to us out of fear of them accidentally winding up on the wrong screen, agreed to show us correspondence with agents, writers, and studio chiefs that capture the new thinking at the highest levels of the Hollywood food chain.

Sitting in his office, in a casita behind his house and next to the pool, we scrolled through the emails on his laptop:

'This one a dead end -- they are going to limit search to women and bipoc candidates'

'How tied to hiring him are you? There are some internally that don't like the idea of hiring a white guy. I wish I had a better way to frame it. Hate this shit.'

'Studio now telling us this job must go to a female / bipoc writer. Sorry -- it sucks'

When we wrapped up, the showrunner said: 'This is all going to end in a giant class-action lawsuit.'

The creatives who embrace this agenda think all of this is laughable, a lie, a rationalization.

'HI AGENTS AND MANAGERS of white folks in this industry,' the actor and director Natalie Morales tweeted in November.

'For fucks sake, please stop blaming 'diversity hires' for why your client isn't getting a job. It's either that you're not working hard enough or that they're not good enough. Be honest with them. You are harming us.'

Rochée Jeffrey, a black writer on 'Grownish,' 'Santa Inc.,' and 'Woke,' said: 'I don't care if white people aren't comfortable because black people are uncomfortable all the fucking time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to bite my tongue so as not to offend white sensibilities, so I don't give a shit if they're nervous.'

The showrunner said that the new politics is making it hard to get work done.

He added that Human Resources departments at the studios and streaming services are awash in complaints directed at white, male showrunners just for doing their job.

'It's gotten to the point where I won't give notes on a script any longer to a woman or person of color.'

Stentz said that he hasn't run into any problems with 'young millennial staffers with more, shall we say, of a social justice emphasis.'

And speaking of Woke movie-making: Jessica Chastain's latest vanity project, her attempt to prove that she can be an Action Movie Star, bombed abysmally, taking in an incredibly embarrassing $4.3 million at the box office in its opening weekend.

After five full weeks at the box office, plus an additional weekend, it took in $28 million worldwide. It's out on PPV now so that about wraps up its box office take.

The Spider-Man movie is almost at $1.8 billion globally so this can't be blamed on covid.

Below, the trailer.


It's so weird, I don't understand it -- why do female-centered action movies, which also by the way go out of their way to insult men and suggest that all men are villainous, keep bombing?

"Registering one of the worst-ever openings for a film its size... [the] globe-trotting spy movie The 355 is expected to make $4.3 million in its debut weekend," reports Collider.

"Conservative estimates had put the film's opening at between $5 million and $7 million, but this is a terrible result for a film playing in over 3,000 theaters and featuring the sort of cast that it does."

Yeah, well, conservative estimates said $5 to $7 million in the hopes of spinning a $9 or $10 million opening a success.

Deadline accidentally points out the one big reason why this movie tanked. "The 355 seemed like a perfect title for Universal to acquire a domestic [opening of] $20M, the movie fitting in its theatrical slate, which is about diversity and representation."

Diversity and representation.

Oh, yeah, that's why we go to the movies, for two hours of diversity and representation.

Good grief.

Who is this for?, Nolte asks.

Well, it's for Jessica Chastain. Apparently she conceived of the project expressly as a culture war vehicle -- she wanted to "challenge the notion that the action-spy genre belonged to men."

That's not an artistic motivation. It's a purely political one.

It's not that she has a love of spy action films, it's not that she had a story idea, it's not that she had this "idea burning inside me" -- she just saw something boys were doing and said "girls should plant a flag there to claim territory from the boys."

That's about as far from a creative impulse as you can get. It's not even a money-grubbing impulse -- which could result in good art, because good art will often produce money.

No, this is a spiteful impulse, an impulse to denigrate and beat up on men -- while also demanding they come give you money to see your movie.

As Charlie's Angels did a few years ago.

The (female) writer kind of gives away that spiteful motivation. It's not about the story, or the genre, or the love of the action-spy format.

Explaining that the Penelope Cruz character is a mother, which is what makes her different than the average male character...

There's much more of a present sense of responsibility to the future of our children and our families. There's the sense of, "This is not everything," that comes out of Lupita's character, where she's trying to disentangle herself from this world. Every now and then I see Tom Cruise doing something like that, but it sort of feels like this world has a deeper soul around: Why are we doing this and why is it essential that we do not stop until we do? It's not a game to them, as it is a game to the men who end up all involved in the corrupt and creepy auction at the end. For them, it's all about money and power. For the women, it's all about: We're not going to just let you blow up the world.

So men do not have souls and do not care about children or families or the world, just money and "games" and power.

Got it.

And so of course the movie failed.

And who could have guessed a Jessica Chastain project would fail miserably?


You can tell they had no story they wanted to tell, besides "Girls Do Mission: Impossible," because apparently they simply filmed a beat-for-beat genderswapped remake of the first Mission: Impossible movie.

But with Girls, see? And all the men are bad, see?

The plot's about a stolen NOC list, a beloved colleague is killed early in the film during the NOC list heist, there's a videocamera hidden in eyeglasses, and, at the end, the beloved colleague you thought was dead turns out not to be dead at all, but the Bad Guy.

In this movie, the beloved colleague is Jessica Chastain's boyfriend, and he's Evil, because All Men are Bad.

They always do this in these movies and then they keep whining: Why don't men see our horrible, uninspired, dull rip-off movies which depict men as stupid weakling monsters?

They did the exact same thing in Charlie's Angels, and then did the exact same whining.

And they are whining about why men didn't show up for this one, too: This reviewer concedes that the movie is "mediocre," but then demands that you like this mediocre movie, or else just admit you're a misogynist.

However, this movie was not bad at all; it did not run too long and did not disappoint in regards to what it promised.

It didn't run too long? Wow, what a triumph. "It was under two hours; movie of the year!"

"The 355" is advertised as a typical action movie, and that is exactly what it was. Most action movies are quite similar to one another and truly do not have much substance and depth to them. So what is so unlikable about this one?

The difference between this movie and other action/spy movies is that the protagonists are women, and the villains are men. This is not cheap or overplayed; it is refreshing and necessary. The world needs predictable, mindless spy movies about women to counteract and balance the enormous repertoire of male-led ones.

In male-led spy movies, the villains are not women, because they are not gener-bashing political manifestos disguised as entertainments.

...

"The 355" is not necessarily revolutionary -- perhaps even easily forgotten -- but then again, so are most action movies. They are made for the sole purpose of mind-numbing entertainment, and this film accomplishes just that. There is something so special about tuning out the world to settle into a film that transfers its audience to a more exciting, secret life they could never possibly live.

As you can see from this review, this reviewer -- a woman -- plainly herself does not like action movies and thinks almost all of them are stupid and unnecessary, and so she's asking Stupid Men: Why don't you like this stupid, uninspired, mind-numbing action movie? It's just as stupid as all of the other ones you like.

I mean, that's the problem right there. Women don't like action movies. So... why would they make them, and why would they expect women to go see them? And why would they expect something approaching gender-parity in the number of men and women working on action movies, or seeing action movies?

I know that some women will object: But I like action movies!

I mean, sure, you like Raiders of the Lost Ark. You like Die Hard. You like Star Wars. You like... the absolute creme de la creme.

But do you like... War?

Do you like Passenger 57?

Do you like Cliffhanger?

Do you like Stone Cold?

Do you like The Hidden?

Well okay, I didn't like all those myself, but I saw all of them.

Liking the tip-top first tier offerings of a genre doesn't mean you like the genre, it just means you like tip-top first tier offerings.

But I like Little Shop of Horrors. I've seen it thirty times. I like Chicago. I've seen that like eight times.

But I haven't seen any other musicals and I'd have to be dragged to see a musical.

So I really don't think that Hollywood would get rich trying to make more musicals to appeal to "The Ace of Spades Demographic." I don't think producers should try to make a musicals with my hobbies and interests in mind, such as dogs, erecting quality shelves, looking cool on a Vespa, or banging Garrett's mom.

I mean, I'm a "discriminating viewer of musicals" which means I'm extremely choosy.

An industry can't survive on choosy customers. It needs voracious customers. It doesn't need discriminating viewers; it needs very undiscriminating viewers.

You don't make action movies for women and you don't make musicals for me. You will sometimes make movies that are so good in either of those genres that you will attract atypical audience members, and in those cases, you have cross-over hits or even blockbusters.

But you don't make action movies for women. Unless you want to keep making Charlie's Angels ($8 million opening weekend) and The 355 ($4.3 million opening weekend).

To date, after five full weeks of exhibition, plus a bonus weekend, The 355 has made only $28 million. Globally.

I hope they do keep making these movies, to be honest. I like watching them burn.

And just to prove that men like action movies in a way women don't, I wrote a short quiz.

I'm going to ask about some real stinker action movies. Definitely not tip-top first tier offering. Bottom tier to just short of the middle tier, at best.

I bet that Male Morons of a Certain Age will get a surprising number of questions correct.


In the godawful Bruce Willis stinker Striking Distance, Willis is busted down to serving as a cop with what sort of unusual jurisdiction? In what city? Who is his female costar? What creepy oldie pop song does the killer play when he kills young women? Who does the killer turn out to be? I mean the actor. I sure the hell don't know character names in this piece of filth.

In Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, who played Harley Davidson? Who played the Marlboro Man? Which one rode a Harley? Which one smoked? Which Baldwin played one of the leather trenchcoat wearing bad guys?


Jean-Claude Van Damme picked up an outrageous New Orleans accent to star in what "The Most Dangerous Game" rip-off movie? Who directed it? What military outfit was Van Damme's character formerly a part of? (Hint: Think about his background.) What older actor showed up as an ally, sporting an almost even more outrageous Cajun accent? What weapon did this older actor use? What unlikely element does Van Damme incorporate into a snare trap? Who played the bad guy? What high-class, artistic action is the bad guy doing as he's introduced, setting up a cliche that would haunt action movies for the next 20 years as every other bad guy had to also be shown doing something high class?


Which rapper starred in another "The Most Dangerous Game" rip-off, Surviving the Game? Name at least one actor playing the bad guys. What general area of the country was that movie set in?


Who were the co-leads of Showdown in Little Tokyo, the movie which has tricked ten million people into getting excited thinking, wrongly, that it was Big Trouble in Little China? What bizarre, homoerotic compliment did the dark-haired lead give to the light-haired lead?

Answers:

In Striking Distance, Bruce Willis gets in trouble and is busted down (yawn) to acting as some kind of river patrol cop. In Pittsburg. His female lead is the newcomer Sarah Jessica Parker who went on to win the Preakness later that year. The song the killer plays is "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. The killer, IIRC, turns out to be the uninsurable Tom Sizemore. His name is Tommy or something dumb, and think he starts screaming like a baby at the end something like "Tommy's the good boy! Tommy's the good boy!" or something. It's embarrassing. I still remember that. No wonder he did drugs and filmed himself banging prostitutes. In many ways, this was the story of Hunter Biden. Update: Jordan61 says I'm wrong, and Wikipedia confirms: There were two soy, weak, schlubby Italian-looking guys, Tom Sizemore and Robert Pastorelli, playing "Danny" and "Jimmy." Although Tom Sizemore is suspected of being the killer for a lot of the movie, it turns out to be this "Jimmy" character, who... um, was previously believed to have committed suicide but Oh No He Didn't. Okay, I got that one wrong. I told you I was going from memory!

I can't believe I saw this movie, which I hated, so many times that I remember this much of it. (But not all of it, it turns out.)


Mickey Roarke played Harley Davidson. Don Johnson played the Marlboro Man. They both rode Harleys. They both smoked. Basically they were named according to their cute outfits: Roarke wore biker leathers, Johnson wore denim, a vest, and a cowboy hat. The Baldwin bad guy was Daniel Baldwin, who for years was known as "the Least Baldwin," until Alec heroically wrenched that title away from him by killing a six-point cinematographer on the last day of crew season. I saw this piece of shit in the theater. I paid real money to get in to see it. It wasn't part of a money-laundering operation or anything, it was a legit transaction.

The Jean Claude Van Damme "Most Dangerous Game" rip-off was Hard Target. It was the first (IIRC) American movie directed by Noted Dove Choreographer and Church Interior Designer John Woo. I am 99.9% sure that Van Damme's character was a French Foreign Legionnaire. The older actor who shows up is Wilfred Brimley. He's Van Damme's Uncle Guillaume or something dumb like that. He kills several people with a bow. I think Jean Claude Van Damme sets up a trap involving a venomous snake, where the snake drops down or pops up when you step on a tripwire. It's so dumb I don't know if it really happened or I dreamed it later. The bad guy was Lance Henrikson. He is introduced playing a classical piece on a grand piano. This was hilariously spoofed in MacGruber, as Dieter Van Cunth is introduced painting a portrait of naked old cleaning woman. This movie wasn't actually terrible, exactly; it was just dumb and low-achieving and also dumb and tastelessly overstuffed with Van Damme. It was "fun" if your idea of fun is Dumb Things and kicks in the face and Van Damme doing splits and sucking in his cheeks to look pretty. It was a big disappointment because I was on the John Woo craze of the, what, early 90s? I expected more.

Another correction: a commenter says Van Damme was a Force Recon vet in this movie, and that I'm confusing his French Legionnaire background from another movie, maybe Legionnaire (appropriately enough).

Surviving the Game starred Ice-T. The bad guys were played by Rutger Hauer and Gary Busey. The movie was set somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. I don't remember anything else except that Ice-T played a homeless man and military veteran which was almost exactly the same as Van Damme in Hard Target. Except Van Damme wasn't homeless, he just had friends who were homeless who were disappearing. But the plot was the same -- bad guys hiring homeless military guys to be the "quarry" in a human hunt.

The co-leads of Showdown in Little Tokyo were Dolph Lundgren and Brandon Lee. This is the bizarre homoerotic compliment. I didn't really see much of this movie. I always turned it off when I realized it wasn't Big Trouble in Little China. I only know the quote because they nominated it for a Weirdest Moment award in an MTV Movie Awards show.

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posted by Ace at 05:20 PM

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