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Food Thread: Family, Friends And Pecan Pie...But Mostly Pecan Pie...And Family And Friends!

The pecan pie is the highest expression of the pie-making art, and it is uncomfortable when well-meaning people tout silly and pale reflections of pie as somehow superior.

I won't even discuss the lowly pumpkin pie, which reminds me of nothing more than the goo that seeps out of a broken sewage pipe or the remains of the vegetable bin after a 10-day blackout.

You apple pie people may have a point, but really, the best part of any apple pie is the crust, so just climb down off that high horse!

Blueberry you say? Yes, I will grant the glory of a well-made blueberry pie, but on the second day it is a soggy mess, while my pecan pie is a wonderful accompaniment to a great cup of coffee. And bacon. But that doesn't even have to be said.

Key lime and Boston cream and...um...other pies are certainly good eating, but for sheer pie power and authority there is nothing quite like American pecan pie served after a sumptuous Thanksgiving dinner.

[Here's my go-to recipe...probably from Cooks Illustrated, but I don't remember]

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Thanksgiving Dinner is quintessentially American (even if America's Hat tried to steal it), but it can be overwhelming if not seen for what it truly is: an opportunity to join family and friends for a day of pleasure in each other and in the still undeniable glory of living in the greatest country in history.

So don't get caught up in the details. If your turkey is overdone...so what? If the potatoes are lumpy and sticky...so what? If nobody brought a pecan pie and you (horror of horrors) didn't bake one...so what? If the ice cream melted and the oven broke and you have to eat scrambled eggs...so what?

It is the pleasure of the day and the people around you that matters (the meal is a delightful, or not-so-delightful bonus). And if that is everyone in your world, good for you. If that is just you and one or two others, then good for you. And if you are alone but not by choice, then next year come to my house for Thanksgiving, or to the many Morons who frequent this crazy place who would be honored to have you at their tables.

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Some classic American dishes for your Thanksgiving table...

Green Bean Casserole

Oyster Stuffing

Cranberry Sauce

Roasted Brussels Sprouts With Bacon [From Bluebell!]

Creamy Mashed Potatoes

Cornbread Stuffing [I use Italian sausage instead of breakfast sausage]

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Ban the Banquette
It's from "Eater," so it is almost guaranteed to be a supercilious, tone-deaf, pompous diatribe on an issue about which literally no sentient being gives a shit.

You don't like banquettes? Fine. Then don't f%#king sit in them. But no, like all budding fascists, the soft left insists that the market accommodate their every whim and desire, including imagined ones from their preferred grievance pressure groups, in this case people in wheelchairs.

There ought to be a law!

[Hat Tip: redc1c4]

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Long-time commenter "VIA" has a question about induction cook-tops. Shockingly, not only do I know nothing about them (a common occurrence), I don't even have an opinion (a very uncommon occurrence!).

So have at it. All you Morons who have induction equipment or have used it please chime in with advice.

And because he has forgotten how contentious certain topics can be, he also is curious about smokers...

Yeah, we might as well talk about .45ACp vs. 9mm or Ginger vs. Mary Ann.

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China: Man banned from all-you-can-eat BBQ for eating too much

[Hat Tip: Jane D'oh]

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Yup...that's a cauliflower gratin, which will be front-and-center on my Thanksgiving table. Well...the one I will be making this week will be twice the size of the one in the photo...because contrary to what shiv-mistress Bluebell may think...everyone loves cauliflower!

The recipe is simple. Make a Béchamel, then put way more cheese than you could possibly imagine into it until it melts, then dump it all onto the cauliflower florets that you have blanched. Mix it, plop it in a baking dish, and cook until it's nice and bubbly and toasted.

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Avocados sans thumbprints, beef short ribs that have meat on them (not the stupid little sliver of bone they sneak into the packages), carrots that don't taste like stalky chalk, spare bottles of Van Winkle Special Reserve 12 Year Old Bourbon, an herb garden that actually produces herbs (but no basil!), well-marbled NY strip steaks and elk backstrap to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

And don't think that you are off the hook with maple syrup and French Toast: I'm watching you...all of you! And I am watching you perverts who shake Manhattans and keeping a list for the Burning Times.