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June 30, 2021
The Morning RantTHE NEW PARADIGM I guess we shouldn't be surprised by this: See, everything has to be shoehorned to fit into the new paradigm (kind of like Earth Day founder and psychopath Ira Einhorn savagely beat his ex-girlfriend Holly Maddux to death and stuffed her body into a trunk he kept in a closet). They had to do the same thing during the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Chinese musicians, for example, were forbidden to perform western works such as Mozart's Violin Concerto #3, but perhaps they could get away with it if they claimed the title was "W. A. Mozart Is Thinking About the Glorious Chairman Mao." Everything had to be about Chairman Mao. Something similar is happening here. The new paradigm to understand American history is: slavery! Or, if you will: slavery and racism! Or even: Racism and slavery! Whatever. The point is, everything is going to have to be rethought, including the constitution. Not that that's new. For years 'woke' scholars have been claiming that the constitution was written by white guys for white guys, but now it's time to drill down a bit into the Bill of Rights. The Second Amendment is the most logical place to start, since it's the amendment that is most odious to 'woke' sensibilities. The are others, but that one ia probably the most offensive. But I think we can help out here and contribute to 'woke' scholarship by going through the Bill of Rights amendment by amendment, making all of them about: Racism and slavery! So let's begin. We've already got our conclusion, now, like good 'woke' scholars, let's look for evidence to support it:
Amendment I This amendment specifically protects segregated churches from government interference and any legal reform efforts. And petitioning the government for "redress of grievances" is obviously a reference to recovering runaway slaves that have fled to another state.
Amendment II I'm waiting for Carol Anderson's book to come out on this one. I'm sure it will be stunning and brave.
Amendment III I admit this one is a toughie, but ackshully, 'soldier' is most likely code word for slave or POC, which means they can't be forced to live in your house or neighborhood. And this is how the practice of redlining got its start.
Amendment IV The phrase "secure in their persons" is an obvious reference to slaves, as it listed right next to other forms of property, that is, "houses, papers, and effects." So this amendment could be called the 'hands off my slaves' amendment.
Amendment V So a slave couldn't bring up a charge against his or her master, or any other white guy, without going through a whole bunch of hoops to accomplish it. Kind of like allowing blacks to vote but then making them take some kind of poll test where they had to recite the alphabet backwards in Latin, or something equally impossible. This amendment was specifically written to deny justice to brown people.
Amendment VI More hoops. Also, it guaranteed the right of a white guy to be tried by a jury of other white guys who would undoubtedly vote for acquittal most of the time.
Amendment VII $20 was the average price of a slave on the open market, so clearly in disputes involving slaves or selling slaves, the principle and practice of slave trafficking would be protected.
Amendment VIII This guarantees that white guys could pretty much get away with killing black people and stealing they stuff, and not have to worry too much about having to pay much for it. Their fines and penalties would be low. It says so right here in the constitution.
Amendment IX 'People' is code for 'lynch mobs'. So this amendment gave the green light to mass lynchings without fear of any sort of governmental interference.
Amendment X This is another "don't mess with my plantation" amendment, put in to appease Southern slaveowners, thus firmly embedding the principles of racism and slavery into the very fabric of the constitution. See how easy that was? Doing write-ups for all of the amendments took me about forty-five minutes, and that includes formatting the text. And once I got on a roll, I could see the endless possibilities for reworking pretty much everything. And this is why, I think, academia is cranking out 'woke' scholars like they're coming off of an assembly line. It's so easy , anyone, and I mean anyone, can do it.
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