Insurrectionist Cafe: The Greatest Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle Show In History Edition

It's now a trend to use the old Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle toy and videotape some really amazing jumps.

In case you don't know who Evel Knievel is, here's a half-hour documentary about Evel Knievel's greatest jumps.

My favorite was his jump over the Snake River Canyon on a "rocket cycle" -- a rocket with tires -- which is probably the highest-testosterone series of words you can write.

It was a failure but the guts to even try it are worth a slow clap.

Here are some of Evel's quotes:

A man can fall many times in life, but he's never a failure until he refuses to get back up.

If you don't know about pain and trouble, you're in sad shape. They make you appreciate life.

I would always rather be in the arena fighting than be a spectator.

I can say the Lord's prayer in 10 seconds.

I decided to fly through the air and live in the sunlight and enjoy life as much as I could.

If a guy hasn't got any gamble in him- he isn't worth a crap.

When you're mad at someone, it's probably best not to break his arm with a baseball bat.

Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars.

I don't know about you, but my testosterone just shot up 300 points.

So now that you know the Legend, let's take a look at The Legend's likeness.

I'm sure that most of you will have some knowledge of the Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle, one of the greatest toys ever.

Kids only make simple ramps -- a board propped up by bricks.

Only adults with carpentry skills can make them right, with a curving lift.

Adults are building monster ramps and getting some really sick jumps out of this old toy. Jumps I never thought were remotely possible.

This jump, for example, features a very realistic Evel Knievel style landing.

This video is a very realistic simulation of an actual Evel Knievel TV special, including the bullshit behind-the-scenes runtime-padding those specials were full of.

But with dolls.

They usually miss the landing ramps.

Which is 100% modeled on Evel Knievel reality.

If Evel Knievel jumped giant sneakers, this is exactly how he would land.

Almost sticking the landing:

Going by this video, the key to a landing is a properly constructed landing ramp:

This is my favorite Stunt Cycle jump -- double-click on the video to see it big, the way Evel would want you to watch it.

Here's a history of Evel Knievel toys, if you're interested.

That's from the official Evel Knievel twitter account.

A little fun fact I either didn't know or forgot: in September 2016, a stuntman named Eddie Braun recreate Evel Knievel's Snake River Canyon "rocket cycle" jump.

posted by Ace at 07:33 PM

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