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May 20, 2021

Its A Beautiful Day In The ONThood

Hello neighbors. Welcome to Ace of Spades. Are you having a nice day? That's nice. I hope you are enjoying the website today.



So, this was the inspiration for the ONT opening.

Of course, we all know that Mr. Rogers was from a more primitive time. His show did nothing to fight cis-het hate or to acknowledge the struggles of non-binary persons of alternative coloring to overcome the oppression of the patriarchy. I mean, it's like they didn't even care about properly raising kids back then!

There's one for Bob Ross too.

Good News Of The Week

Gov. Greg Abbott signs 'fetal heartbeat' bill banning most abortions in Texas

Of course there is great wailing and gnashing of teeth on the left about this “assault” on a woman's 'Constitutional right” *spit* to murder her child, and there will be the inevitable court battles over the law, but I'm awfully glad it's down on paper. It'll be that much easier to keep when/if our great national divorce happens.

As an aside, I laughed when the article said that conservatives now hold a “6-3” advantage on the SCOTUS. It's 5-4 at best. Anyone who thinks Roberts is “conservative” needs to wash their brain out with bleach (Thanks Dubya!). The idea that that ass will do anything to threaten the “prestige” of the court (read: anything that upsets the DC cocktail party set) is ludicrous.

News You Can Use

Bears Like Gay Oral Sex, According To Important New Scientific Study

Shit, 5 minutes in a San Francisco boathouse would have told you that. There's no need for “an important new study”. I want to know if it happens among bears raised completely in the wild. These bears were orphans living in a sanctuary. I've long believed that some (not all) gay humans are gay as a result of childhood trauma (sexual abuse), is it so strange that bears might have similar experiences?

Check Your Zoom Before Signing On

Judge rips Michigan man who appeared for his virtual arraignment as ‘Buttf–ker 3000’

Saxton reappeared a few minutes later and said his sister had set up his Zoom account, adding that the unfortunate name was an inside joke.

“Is your sister there?” the judge asked him.
“No, unfortunately, she is not,” Saxton replied.
“Tell her she almost got you put in jail for contempt of court,” Middleton said, eliciting another apology.

Doc 0 On Marxism

Click through and read the whole thing, or read it unrolled here.

Nat 20 Is For Pikers

Truck Carrying Gaming Dice Spills Onto Highway, Rolls A Perfect 756,000

Best line?

The truck was undamaged, having made its saving throw.

Bad Takes

Shrek at 20: an unfunny and overrated low for blockbuster animation

To say that the article reeks of pretension is underselling it by quite a bit.

Musical Interlude

For some reason this one particular video won't upload to the ONTWTF account. Weird.

A Girl Needs Her Tendies

My ex-husband fed my vegan daughter McDonald’s chicken nuggets behind my back – now she keeps demanding meat

The internet seems to be rallying around the mom, and I actually do think that one parent shouldn't change the agreed upon dietary restrictions for a child without at least informing the other parent, but I'm glad the kid got some real food.

Presented Without Comment

Mainly because I'd have to banhammer myself for if I said what I was thinking.


The 18 Greatest Revenge Songs of All Time

This list is awfully early aughts-centric. What are your nominations for the best revenge songs?

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by women:


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