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May 22, 2021

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (5/22/21)

sat 5 22 0NT (1).jpg

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The Saturday Night Joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Botswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorian, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivian, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.” (H/T redc1c4)


***


If you drink a lot of 2 liter bottles of pop and have time on your hands, you to can build a super-duper raft.


***

If I needed a job, I don't think I could ever be a Lyft or Uber driver. Besides the people? 30 additional reasons why I couldn't.

According to Uber’s latest Lost & Found Index, the items most frequently forgotten by passengers are pretty much what you’d expect: phones, keys, wallets, headphones, backpacks, water bottles, and so on.

That said, not all riders are quite so predictable. Most remember to take their 22 bundt cakes with them when they exit the vehicle, but one person did not. Another passenger accidentally abandoned a catheter.

No matter what you’ve left behind, your Uber driver will help you recover it. Watch the video below to find out how, and read on for a list of 30 especially bizarre belongings Uber riders have alighted without.


***


Now you to can start a fire without matches or that lighter.

Whether for warmth, cooking, or signaling, fire is a survival essential. As is the knowledge of how to make one without matches. You never know when you’ll find yourself without those convenient little red-tipped tools. Maybe your single engine plane goes down while you’re flying over the Alaskan wilderness, like the kid in Hatchet. Or perhaps you’re out camping and you lose your backpack in a tussle with a bear. It needn’t even be something so dramatic — even extremely windy or wet conditions can render matches virtually useless.

Fortunately, if you need to make fire and don’t have matches, you’re not at all out of luck; a wide variety of other options remain for catalyzing a flame. Below, we go over nine of them, from those which utilize items you might scrounge in an urban environment to ones

Speaking of fires. What happens when you light a vagina scented candle? KABOOM!


Gwyneth Paltrow's company sued after man claims vagina-scented candle 'exploded'
Goop's website tells users not to burn the candle for more than two hours and the company has called the claim "frivolous".


***


If you act like an asshole. You should be treated like an asshole. And it should cost you dearly.

Airline passengers behaving badly has become a recurring theme over the past year or so. Historically, the FAA has handled incidents involving unruly passenger with a variety of methods ranging from warnings and counseling to civil penalties.

But last January the agency adopted a much stricter, zero-tolerance policy toward passengers who cause disturbances on flights, fail to obey flight crew instructions in violation of the FAA’s regulations or engage in conduct proscribed by federal law.

So far this month — and May still has 10 days left — the FAA has already proposed five-figure civil penalties against six passengers for allegedly assaulting or threatening flight attendants or engaging in other physical altercations on flights.

The three most egregious cases involve passengers who exhibited violence or made threats of violence.

The most dangerous incident happened on Delta Air Lines flight from Honolulu to Seattle on December 23, 2020. The FAA alleges that a passenger tried to open the cockpit door, repeatedly refused to comply with crew members’ instructions, and struck a flight attendant in the face and pushed him to the floor. Flight attendants, with the help of another passenger, placed plastic handcuffs on the disruptive passenger but he freed himself and struck the flight attendant in the face a second time. After the plane landed, police escorted the passenger into custody and he now faces a $52,500 fine.

***

I'm guessing he dumped her and in the long run it was a smart move.

Genius or crazy? Woman fakes her own wedding to get back at ex-boyfriend

The bride wore white — and her ex? Green.

In a desperate attempt to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, a woman in Germany faked an elaborate wedding to get revenge on an old flame. A TikTok video of her envy-inducing antics has gone viral, with more than 1.8 million views and thousands of gobsmacked comments.

Sarah Vilard, 24, revealed her rock bottom moment to the tune of Gnarls Barkley’s 2006 hit “Crazy,” showing pictures of herself holding hands with a groom-for-hire, wearing a long white dress.

“Yup, I’m crazy,” she captioned the video.

Vilard, who lives in Frankfurt, Germany, split from her former beau in 2019 and hatched envy-inducing plan shortly after.

She rented out Frankfurt’s Villa Kennedy and rounded up her friends to play the roles of bridesmaids. She posted the pictures to her Instagram, where she was certain her ex would see.


***


It all sounded good in theory. Reality was a different story.

50 Cases Of Poor Design That Are Disasters Waiting To Happen
Rokas LaurinavičiusJustinas KeturkaRokas Laurinavičius and Justinas Keturka

Design is meant to eliminate problems. To make our lives easier. However, that's not always the case. Even though safety should be a key component when making any type of product, sometimes it falls out of the manufacturing equation and the consumer gets a hazard instead. And something to submit to the subreddit r/DangerousDesigns.

Created in 2014, this online community now has over 140K members, constantly sharing pics of exactly what its name suggests. Whether it's a questionable architectural solution or misleading packaging, over the years they've amassed quite the collection!


***


I enjoy feeding birds in my back yard. One of the discouraging things besides the black bear sow and cob demolishing feeders are Squirrels. However, here is an interesting obstacle course for them.

Engineer Builds an Action Film Inspired Backyard Obstacle Course For Squirrels Plotting to Steal Birdseed

After the squirrels of his backyard conquered his first challenging obstacle course in 2020, former NASA engineer and entertaining science vlogger Mark Rober (previously) learned that the furry-tailed rodents were plotting their revenge with fully fleshed out string board. Not to be outdone, Rober and his friend constructed a new, vastly improved, backyard squirrel obstacle course with sections that were directly inspired by such action films as Ocean’s Eleven and Mission Impossible.

Truthfully I never thought I’d be that crazy guy in the neighborhood obsessing over the squirrels but they started it first when they would constantly pillage the birdseed from any bird feeder I would put up about a year ago. That led to me defending it with an obstacle course, which they handily defeated. And so after a year of ruminating on how to avenge that with a majorly improved version.

Rober hilariously narrated the action of the four squirrels whose names are Rick, Marty, Frank, and Fat Gus.


***


The Mental Benefits of Being Terrible at Something - And what happens to your brain when you finally nail it

You’ve probably heard of the 80/20 rule before: once you’ve learned or figured out the first 80 percent of something, the effort it will take to learn the last 20 percent might not be worth it—because the last 20 percent is almost always the hardest. The 80/20 rule, also called the Pareto principle, applies to both physical and cognitive pursuits. For example, it’s usually easier to go from running nine-minute miles to six-minute miles than it is to go from running six-minute miles to five-minute miles; it’s easier to get proficient at chess than to become an international grand master.

The 80/20 rule is interesting to consider, but it can also be misleading. That’s because both the early and the late stages of skill acquisition feature unique benefits despite their varied difficulties.

***


There are right ways and wrong ways to fence. This is a wrong way.

***


13 Things You Should Never Pressure Wash

Updated: Apr. 29, 2021
A pressure wash can serve a valuable role in home maintenance, but don’t get carried away! Pressure washing can do more harm than good.


Number 7? Living things. I thought that might have been number 1.


***

The ONT Musical Interlude



Born on this day: 22 May 1962
Jesse Valenzuela, from American rock band Gin Blossoms, who had the 1994 UK top 30 hit single 'Hey Jealousy', from their first major label album, New Miserable Experience (1992). via thisdayinmusic.com


AND



Born on this day: 22 May 1950
Bernie Taupin, English lyricist, poet, and singer and Elton John's long-time song writing partner. Rod Stewart, Cher, The Motels, John Waite, Starship and Alice Cooper have all recorded his songs. In 1967, Taupin answered an advertisement placed in the UK music paper New Musical Express by Liberty Records, a company that was seeking new songwriters, Elton John responded to the advertisement, and the pair were brought together. via thisdayinmusic.com

***


Minnesota woman wants to be Florida Woman and our Genius Award Winner.


When they arrived at the scene, they found 35-year-old Jennifer Weber lying in the backseat of a four-door Chevy Silverado...with her feet in the air...and she was practicing..."self-care."

In fact, it took about an hour to coax Weber out of the truck, and the whole time she refused to stop touching herself. She also repeatedly told officers that she thought she was in Florida, as well. Specifically, St. Petersburg.

However, a run of her information revealed that Weber is not from Florida, and actually lived 40 miles from the dealership.

***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Recycling.

5 22 21 brought to (1).jpg

Notice: Posted with permission by somebody in the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC's building. Not sure if it was Ace or somebody on the janitorial staff.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

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