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January 23, 2021

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (1/23/21)

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The Saturday Night Joke


A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, with a gun in her hand. As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled mightily and managed to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration :

"HECK! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"


***


Saturday Overnight Open Thread what can we look at and not think about the shit storm in Washington D.C. tonight?


Here's one thing. If you are going on a safari, don't f*ck around with a rhino.


***

When you're hitting up the valu-rite be careful not to drink and drive. Not only are you risking your life and others. It can be pretty costly.

Aside from the obvious danger, getting behind the wheel while drunk can be one of the costliest financial mistakes you’ll ever make. A first-time DUI costs an average of $6,500 per driver, although that can easily climb up to $30,000, depending on a few factors. Here’s a look at how a DUI affects your wallet.

Why DUI costs vary
If your first DUI involves a high blood alcohol concentration (BAC) or an accident, then your total cost will be higher than other first DUI offenses. Where you live matters, too—some states have minimum fines for first offenders that are closer to $1500 (Oregon, Alaska, Utah) and other states have minimums that cost $0 (Illinois, Indiana, Missouri), according to Finder.com. Your age is also a factor, both for what is an unacceptable BAC (some states have “zero tolerance” laws for drivers under 21, which means they can be charged for a lower BAC than the typical threshold of 0.08) and for potential insurance costs.

***


Some of you know I dabble with painting. I'm so envious, in a good way. The hyper realist paintings of Jeff Bartels.


***

#BelieveAllWomen?

A married teacher claims she could not have had sex with a pupil as she is too short for the position in question.

Kandice Barber, 35, is accused of performing a sex act on the 15-year-old boy, who has not been named, and having sex with him while standing up.

Amersham Law Courts heard that she had already been convicted at a trial in September last year of sending a video to the boy, showing her pleasuring herself while on a bed surrounded by sex toys, and sexually communicating with the complainant.

The complainant, who is now 18 appeared by video link, claims that he also met Barber for sexual activity on three occasions.


An interesting defense. I wonder if the defendant will "take the stand"?

***


When my little tax exemptions lived at home they heard repeatedly, "For every action there is an equal reaction." If you attempt to form a union you can be looking for a job.

Instacart is laying off every employee who voted to unionize, Motherboard reports. The news comes as the company shuts down in-store operations at some grocery stores amid the coronavirus pandemic and doubles down on curbside pickups.

The layoffs impact 10 unionized workers at a grocery store called Mariano’s, in addition to other Instacart employees. The group in Skokie, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago, voted to unionize last year with the United Food and Commercial Workers Local 1546 (UFCW). It was a landmark victory for gig workers and represented “the first time employees of tech companies that rely predominantly on contract labor have formed a union to collectively bargain for better wages, benefits, and working conditions,” according to my colleague Nick Statt.

Employees were in the process of negotiating their first contract when news of the layoffs hit. “These layoffs are totally discouraging for any gig workers who are trying to do something to make these jobs better,” one unionized worker told Motherboard. They said they were fighting for health insurance and vacation time in their initial contract

***


Do you suppose the parents of Daniel Mark Wright and Christian Olson ever heard from their teachers, "If only they would apply themselves."

Daniel Mark Wright and Christian Olson are allegedly part of a criminal syndicate
LEHI, Utah — He was really getting into the part.

A Utah man wanted for a string of crimes was arrested after stealing a donut from a 7-Eleven while dressed as a cop, police said.

Officers in Lehi ended up tracking down Daniel Mark Wright, 47, after getting a call from a convenience store clerk who said a man wearing a “sheriff’s deputy” jacket had stolen a donut earlier in the day and left in a white Ford truck.

After looking at surveillance video, the cops tracked the truck down at a nearby motel, where the manager led them to Wright’s room.

***


As many of you know, I'm I was a big Green Bay Packers fan. Heck they are playing to go to the Super Bowl. Well, if they make it, the stadium will be less than capacity.

The NFL has set its attendance cap for Super Bowl LV in Tampa, and it will include thousands of vaccinated healthcare workers who will be given free tickets to see the game. Adam Schefter reports that 22,000 fans will be allowed into Raymond James Stadium on February 7, including 7,500 healthcare workers.

Screw the NFL and Roger Goodell sideways with a barbwired pineapple sideways.


***


I found the following after I had finished writing the Ace of Spades Pet Thread which can be found here Saturdays 3PM Eastern/2PM Central/1PM Mountain and 12PM on the left coast. Hows that for a shameless plug?


Did you ever wonder how your pet sees the world? Here ya go!

Interesting slide shows.


***

A professional Peeping Tom only gets 5 years in prison. It seems like a light sentence to me.

A former employee of prominent home security company ADT has admitted that he hacked into the surveillance feeds of dozens of customer homes, doing so primarily to spy on naked women or to leer at unsuspecting couples while they had sex.

Telesforo Aviles, 35, pleaded guilty to a count of computer fraud in federal court this week, confessing that he inappropriately accessed the accounts of customers some 9,600 times over the course of several years. He is alleged to have done this to over 200 customers.

Authorities say that the IT technician “took note of which homes had attractive women, then repeatedly logged into these customers’ accounts in order to view their footage for sexual gratification.” He did this by adding his personal email address to customer accounts, which ultimately hooked him into “real-time access to the video feeds from their homes.”

Aviles, who now faces up to five years in prison, sometimes “claimed he needed to add himself temporarily in order to ‘test’ the system; in other instances, he added himself without their knowledge,” officials said.

***

The ONT Musical Interlude


On this day: 23 Jan 1956
Rock 'n' Roll fans in Cleveland aged under 18 were banned from dancing in public (unless accompanied by an adult), after Ohio Police introduced a law dating back to 1931. via thisdayinmusic.com

AND



On this day: 23 Jan 1991
John Sebastian, owner and general manager of KLSK FM in Albuquerque, New Mexico, played Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway To Heaven' for twenty-four solid hours to inaugurate a format change to Classic Rock. Police showed up with guns drawn: once after a listener reported that the DJ had apparently suffered a heart attack, and later because of suspicion that, this being eight days into the Gulf War, the radio station had been taken hostage by terrorists dispatched by Zeppelin freak Saddam Hussein. via thisdayimusic.com

Why? Because I can.........


***


Clothing only bogs you down. Just ask our Genius Award Winner.

Naked man driving stolen JSO cruiser crashes into woods on I-10
The man was taken into custody shortly after the crash.

***

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Improvisation.

funny-pic-dump-9.png


Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and its skeleton janitorial crew.

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