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Daily Tech News 7 September 2024
The Bric, The Brac, The Craic & All, Lets Call It An ONT TGIF Cafe The Week In Woke Dick Cheney Is Voting for Kamala Harris CNN Confirms: Discord Linked to School Shooter Expressed "Frustrations with Acceptance of Transgender People," Claimed He Was "Bullied for Being Gay" Biden-Harris White House Is Shocked by Hamas's Brutal Execution of Hostages, and Begins to Suspect the Unthinkable -- Maybe Hamas is a Bad Actor That Actually Doesn't Want Peace at All! America First Legal Sues Every County in Arizona to Force Them, as the Law Requires, to Remove All Illegal Aliens from the Voter Rolls Job Creation Slows as Foreign Workers Take the Lion's Share of What Few Jobs Were Created Plus: Appeals Courts Remove RFKJr's Name from Ballots in MI and NC! The Media Which Applies No Scrutiny to Kamala Harris Wonders, "How is Kamala Harris Managing to Avoid Scrutiny?" Absent Friends
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« Saturday Evening Movie Thread 12-26-2020 [Hosted By: Moviegique] |
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| Sunday Morning Open Thread [J.J. Sefton] »
December 26, 2020
Saturday Overnight Open Thread (12/26/20) Moron-Mart Edition
Very heartwarming....read to the end. It's worth the read.
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located. He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look.
One morning the shoeshine asks the Executive Director: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?" "Why are you so interested in that - that topic?"
"I have a million dollars in your bank," the shoeshine says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"John Smith."
The Director arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department:
"Certainly –"answers the Customer Service Manager–, "he is a highly esteemed customer. He has a million dollars in his account."
The Director comes out, approaches the shoeshine, and says: "Mr. Smith, I ask you this coming Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we will have something to learn from you."
At the board meeting, the Executive Director introduces him to the board members: "We all know Mr. Smith, who makes our shoes shine in the corner; But Mr. Smith is also our esteemed customer with a million dollars in his account. I invited him to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him."
Mr. Smith began his story: "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Suddenly I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options: eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for two dollars and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes. I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and ointments in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while I was able to buy an armchair so that my clients could sit comfortably while cleaning their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every penny. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shine on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place. Finally, three months ago, my sister, who was a whore in Chicago, passed away and left me a million dollars."
An Australian restaurant has apologised to an Italian backpacker after refusing to serve her and her boyfriend because she was dressed ‘inappropriately’. Martina Corradi posted that she was ‘embarrassed and offended’ when a waitress told her she was not dressed ‘acceptably’ and then called the manager to kick her out ‘in front of everyone’ on Christmas Eve. Today North Bondi Fish General Manager Gemma Swanson told Daily Mail Australia the restaurant had apologised to Ms Corradi and offered her a free meal. She said: ‘We have reviewed the incident and acknowledge that it was an error of judgment to ask Martina and her partner to leave the restaurant.
Kung Fu Masters in China Who Practice the Painful Looking Dying Tradition Known as ‘Iron Crotch’
It’s not like Mark and I were close friends. Lewis Black discusses math. I'll make an exception this evening............... Sorry Missy, I've been washing my hair before you were an accidental birth. Believe it or not, but how to wash your hair has actually become a popular talking point. We really have become a world full of easily entertained imbeciles.
Desperate Marietta residents have taken to banging on pots and pans to shoo the birds away, while others have even lit fireworks to scare them off. But these are only temporary solutions.
7 Absurdly Dangerous Toys That Your Parents And Grandparents Probably Got For Christmas Adult Moron pudding cups. H/T redc1c4
As snow piles up in yards and parks across the United States this winter, many children will be hitting their neighborhood hills to sled on their days away from school. Common injuries caused by the time-honored winter activity, however, have led some cities in the Midwest to place a ban on sledding.
Well at least he doesn't have any money to be seized by The Man. Genius Award Winner. A Pennsylvania man charged with narcotics distribution claimed to police that he did not sell methamphetamine, but instead gave it away for free to those who came to his storage unit and asked for the drug, according to a criminal complaint.
Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Not Primary Or Secondary Colors.
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Daily Tech News 7 September 2024
The Bric, The Brac, The Craic & All, Lets Call It An ONT TGIF Cafe The Week In Woke Dick Cheney Is Voting for Kamala Harris CNN Confirms: Discord Linked to School Shooter Expressed "Frustrations with Acceptance of Transgender People," Claimed He Was "Bullied for Being Gay" Biden-Harris White House Is Shocked by Hamas's Brutal Execution of Hostages, and Begins to Suspect the Unthinkable -- Maybe Hamas is a Bad Actor That Actually Doesn't Want Peace at All! America First Legal Sues Every County in Arizona to Force Them, as the Law Requires, to Remove All Illegal Aliens from the Voter Rolls Job Creation Slows as Foreign Workers Take the Lion's Share of What Few Jobs Were Created Plus: Appeals Courts Remove RFKJr's Name from Ballots in MI and NC! The Media Which Applies No Scrutiny to Kamala Harris Wonders, "How is Kamala Harris Managing to Avoid Scrutiny?" Search
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Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |