Saturday Overnight Open Thread (8/8/20)

Malka goes to consult with Dr. Cohen about reviving her husband’s libido.
“I’ll give you some Viagra,” he says .
“Thanks, but Moshe will never take it. Moshe hates pills.”
“In that case," says the doctor, "when he’s not looking drop one in his morning coffee. He won’t even know it’s there. Call me next week and let me know if it helped.”
When Malka calls the doctor he asks her how the little experiment worked out.
“We had mixed results, Dr. Cohen,” she says “The pill worked immediately . Within minutes, he leaped up to his feet, tore off my dress, and made love to me right there on the table.”
“That’s wonderful” says the doctor . “So what’s the problem?”
"I’m pretty sure they’ll never let us into that particular Starbucks again.” H/T Isophorone Blog

Normally, Saturday ONT doesn't have a Quote of The Day, tonight is different.

Quote I

Please don’t run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself.⁣⁣National Park Service

Earlier in the week The ONT covered the woman from UT booted from a plasma center for too much nipple. Now in Myrtle Beach there is not enough thong. H/T Bitter Clinger

Thong-wearing aerial acrobat Sam Panda found trouble with Myrtle Beach cops Monday after police were called to stop the Panda Express from parading around in her offensive swimsuit. Panda, extremely fired up on Facebook, made claims that a ‘Karen’ called cops on her and used a Myrtle Beach thong ordinance to have her booted.

Panda, who is best known as the woman who broke her neck during a performance in Bali, was asked to leave the beach because of the thong after three cops cuffed her and looked up the ordinance. According to Fox 8, cops were originally called — allegedly by a ‘Karen’, according to Panda — for two women wearing thongs and see-through tops who were “dancing and soliciting” videos.

Cancel Culture..................

The things I find for you. Definitely not the brightest bulbs in the pack.

The ONT Is Always Looking Out For You^TM. Tonight we help you with your academic endeavors.

The title of my paper, "Performing Historical Categories In Crisis". It just may work...........

I debated about linking this. But, hey it's Saturday night and it's science. So it's OK, amirite? Or not? Penis size and everything you thought was wrong.

So the average erect penis is about an inch shorter than what most men think it is. The problem with this disconnect between perception and reality is that it has prompted male dissatisfaction with their genitalia. Surveys suggest that between 45 and 68 percent of men wish they had a larger penis. Forward-thinking male sexual health expert Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld once remarked, "It is not much of an exaggeration to say that penises in [men’s] fantasyland come in only three sizes—large, gigantic, and so big you can barely get them through the doorway."

Born on this day: 8 Aug 1961
The Edge (Dave Evans), guitarist, singer, songwriter with U2. They signed with Island Records and released their debut album, Boy in 1980. Their 1987 worldwide No.1 album The Joshua Tree spent 156 weeks on the UK chart. Their U2 360° Tour of 2009–2011 is the highest-attended and highest-grossing concert tour in history. via thisdayinmusic.com

On this day: 8 Aug 1980
The Greater London Council banned The Plasmatics from blowing a car up on stage during their UK live debut at London's Hammersmith Odeon. via thisdayinmusic.com

Blowing up a car? What the hell could go wrong??????

There is a time and place for most things. Cold pizza for breakfast? Sure. Mac & Cheese for breakfast? Nah, don't think so.

What a F*cked up family. Genius Award Winners.

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A 13-year-old boy who crashed into five people Tuesday night while driving on his grandmother’s lap said his grandmother was giving him driving lessons at the time.

“I didn’t want to, but I ain’t had no choice, so she told me to sit in her lap, and I did,” 13-year-old Joseph said.

His grandmother, Ernestine Hollomon, 58, faces a number of charges in connection with the crash, including DUI-child endangerment.

Police said her car was speeding down Boyd Street when it hit five pedestrians.

“I ain’t know what to do,” Joseph said. “I pushed the brake, but she pushed the gas pedal and went straight ahead and started crashing into those folks.”

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Editing Programs.

Notice: The ONT is posted. Don't ask, we won't tell.

posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

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