99% Stunning, 100% Brave: Sports Illustrated Will Feature First "Trans" Model In Its Swimsuit Edition

I remember back in the bad old days, the backwards days, when heterosexual men were not expected to proclaim their attraction to other men.

Thank Goodness we've set right that wrong!

[Sports Illustrated] will soon make anatomical history with its 2020 Swimsuit Issue.

As you thumb through those glossy pages, among eight newcomers, you'll find 23-year-old Valentina Sampaio.

What I like most about "trans" women is that their names sound totally real and not the sort of thing made up by a dude to scam sex on the Internet.

Like: "Caitlyn" Jenner. Caitlyn is a name from the nineties. Bruce Jenner is in his nineties. Someone of Bruce Jenner's generation would be named "Ernestine" or "Mabel" or "Eleanor Roosevelt."

But the actresses he's fond of on Nickelodeon have names like Caitlyn so this ancient old man is now Caitlyn because Shut Up Bigot.

Valentina is a man identifying as a woman, and SI's psyched.

Here's the company's statement, courtesy of Today:

"Valentina has been on our radar for some time now and when we finally met face-to-face it became apparent that besides her obvious beauty, she is an impassioned activist, a true pioneer for the LGBT+ community and just simply embodies the well-rounded woman we are proud to have represent SI Swimsuit across our platforms."

"Well-rounded woman." You know what part of Valentina is really well-rounded? Her balls. Her big sweaty swaying balls.

So the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue will feature a "woman" who looks exactly like Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Great.

posted by Ace at 02:30 PM

| Access Comments