Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support
ę Quarantine Cafe | Main | The Morning Report - 4/7/20 Ľ
April 06, 2020

Monday Overnight Open Thread (4/6/20) Kung Flu Link Free Edition

mon 4 6 above fold.jpg

(Don't forget The ONT Mystery Click)


***

The Quotes of The Day

Quote I

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel


Quote II

Almost all of our sorrows spring out of our relations with other people. Arthur Schopenhauer


Quote III

What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like. Saint Augustine


Quote IV

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, 'All right, then, have it your way.' C. S. Lewis


***

Lighten up Sugar Tits.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry officially stopped being senior members of the British royal family on Wednesday months after they announced their decision to step away and move to North America. Now, Meghan is reportedly planning to make her return to acting, but she’s determined to only do so on her terms.

An inside source told Daily Mail that Meghan, 38, only wants to work with A-list directors in the hopes that she will secure a breakout role that will finally get her taken seriously as an actress. She is reportedly worried that critics will be especially hard on her, so she wants to make sure that only the best of the best directors are attached to her projects.

The source said that Meghan has “been telling her agents that she wants Ava DuVernay involved, and that they need to find the right script.” While Meghan has already been flooded with offers, the insider said that “she thinks the majority of them are cheesy and beneath her.”


Here is the Horde's opportunity to cast Meghan and create the movie titles she could/should star in.

***


Good attorneys always know the answer to their questions. But what about stunts?

This Lawyer Fell Out A Skyscraper Window To His Death While Trying To Prove It Was Unbreakable

On July 9, 1993, Toronto lawyer Garry Hoy was doing his favorite party trick: hurling himself at his office's windows to show their strength. But this time, his stunt failed.

***

Sure. This is handy now. But it will also be handy when everybody is home the next time.

Chances are, your home internet is under a lot more strain than normal at the moment: With schools and workplaces temporarily closing all across the globe, you might well be fighting with your family or your housemates for any available bandwidth. If you want to limit buffering and maximize speeds, we’ve got a few tips to consider.

The basics
First of all, there are all the internet optimization tips that apply no matter how many devices you’ve got connected—we’ve covered these in detail in the past. To summarize, get your router hub somewhere central, and consider wiring up certain demanding devices (like consoles and streaming boxes) if possible, with Ethernet cable.


***

What banana bread can teach us about selflessness and love.


***


Kids will be kids. And authoritarians will be authoritarians.


***


Oh to be young and in love, or not.

This one was just too hilarious to ignore, although Iím guessing she doesnít think so,

My bf (21M) really wants to live in a van after graduation and I (19F) dont know how to tell him that Iím not sure if I want to.

Ive been dating my bf for over a year now, and we get along really well. However, these past few weeks my bf has gotten really into the idea of buying a van, remodeling and traveling the world when we graduate in two years. All he does now is watch van life videos, car repair videos, and other travel vlogs in way of preparation. He has the make a model of the camper van heís going to buy all planned out, as well has the company he plans on hiring to refurbish it. Heís also starting to passively aggressively judge me for not prepping for the van life with him, saying that he shouldnít be the only one planning all of this. The thing is, I never explicitly told him that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him in a van. Im guessing he assumed so because we have been camping several times in the past and both really enjoyed it. I might have expressed support for his desires to be a nomad in the past, but never any direct affirmation.

***


The ONT Musical Interlude

1stScreenshot 2020-03-13 at 2.png

2nd zappaScreenshot 2020-03-13 at 2.png

3rdzappa.png

Screenshot 2020-03-13 at 3.png


&&&


***

Everything is Kung Flu even our Genius Award Winners.

A RANDY couple were caught on camera "having sex" in a London park by a passing jogger during the coronavirus lockdown.

The female runner was out jogging as temperatures soared on Saturday when she spotted two people lying in long grass in South Norwood Country Park, Croydon.

She stopped and filmed 13 seconds of the encounter - and said she was furious with the "disgusting" couple.

"At 2pm, during my afternoon jog, I spotted two morons having sex by the woodlands in South Norwood Country Park," she said.

"It was in plain sight and children were around.

"So much for staying home and saving lives.

"Disgusting."

***


Why jump out of a perfectly fine airplane? Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.


***

Weekly commenter stats for week of 4-5-2020


Top 10 commenters:
1 [831 comments] 'Skip' [116.60 posts/day]
2 [699 comments] 'Insomniac - Ex Cineribus Resurgo'
3 [590 comments] 'runner'
4 [566 comments] 'm'
5 [538 comments] 'Braenyard'
6 [536 comments] 'Axeman'
7 [534 comments] 'TheJamesMadison, back to random thoughts'
8 [527 comments] 'Sponge'
9 [504 comments] 'Jane D'oh'
10 [481 comments] 'Deplorable Jay Guevara'

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [118 names] 'Miklos, expressing a yawning kind of surprise and outrage' [16.56 unique names/day]
2 [66 names] 'Axeman'
3 [60 names] 'Duncanthrax'
4 [34 names] 'Cicero (@cicero)'
5 [32 names] 'Smokin' Uncle Joe Biden'
6 [31 names] 'davidt'
7 [30 names] 'freaked'
8 [30 names] 'Count de Monet'
9 [29 names] '18-1'
10 [28 names] 'The ARC of History!'

***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Foundation Savers.

funny-pic-dump-41.jpg


Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire, AceCorp, LLC and unknowingly by the CDC. ONT tips? Loose change? Drink tokens? Burner phones? Yes, they can all be sent to petmorons at gmail. No, we don't accept CODs or stamps. Complaints? Obviously to someone who gives a rat's ass.

digg this
posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
TheQuietMan: "The peaceful protestors are headed to White Sox pa ..."

Not Voting Our Way Out Of This: "Not sure how we recover from this complete lack of ..."

Barack Hussein from Kalorama Palace: "If one were to organize terrorist activities from ..."

Techie: "470 I read that there were 2 other people in the ..."

redbanzai the Southerner: " Bad cops are bad for everyone. I am more than a ..."

groovygirl: "Oh gosh that was a typo--supposed to be I think 8 ..."

Walter Freeman: "[i]@558: "That can make a heart stop if done long ..."

blake - semi lurker in marginal standing: "By the way, my son mentioned trash cans being set ..."

Alberta Oil Peon: "It rained last night, which means the dandelions h ..."

Javems: "597 Posted by: Jim at May 31, 2020 06:53 PM (QzJW ..."

groovygirl: "Clyde, Mostly agree with you. BUT, eyes don't ..."

Weasel: "Weasel, does the gun thread include the stats on r ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64