The Morning Rant

Ready? Here is my solution:

Put Bernie Sanders in charge of it.

No, stop laughing. Hear me out on this:

Commies are notoriously incompetent at running things, right? We all know that. Their five year plans and glorious cultural revolutions all fail miserably.

I'm sure you've all heard the joke: put the commies in charge of the Sahara Desert and within 5 years there will be a shortage of sand.

If stands to reason that if we put the commies in charge of the coronavirus, it won't be long before we start seeing a shortage of coronavirus.

Probably not fast enough, you say? Well then, if we really want to make this thing go away fast, we need to draft heavy hitter AOC and get her in the starting lineup ASAP. Make a special Federal Department of Coronavirus Distribution and put those two in charge of it.

With those two running the show, I can practically guarantee you that the coronavirus will shortly become as scarce as toilet paper and hand sanitizer.

This idea is so crazy, it just might work.

Guaranteed Cure!

Bunch of Poseurs:

XRDC has cancelled its mass die-in at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History this Sunday because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Responding to the science and the public health emergency declared in DC, we feel it would be irresponsible to go ahead with the action.

— Extinction Rebellion Washington DC (@XRebelDC) March 12, 2020

And:

When SUICIDE BOMBERS think your continent is too dangerous to visit… pic.twitter.com/EW0s9i2dRp

— Daddy Warpig (@DaddyWarpig) March 15, 2020

Federalism: How Does It Work?

I’m not the first person to make this observation but it truly is remarkable the degree to which local and state officials as well as private entities and businesses are making these massive public health policy decisions while the feds seem to be moving much more slowly.

— Sam Stein (@samstein) March 13, 2020

I'll Bet Your Quarantine Is Not As Lit As This:

quarantine is going well pic.twitter.com/2HVA12ThYO

— addie weyrich (@spagaddie_sauce) March 15, 2020

Who Dis:

For the 'Ettes:

Wednesday's celebs: I don't know if Julie London was a singer who was also an actress or an actress who was also a singer, but in addition to her movie and TV roles, she recorded 32 albums in her career, and many sold very well. Her imdb.com bio says she had to give up band singing when her true age was discovered, which I thought odd, but couldn't find any more information about it. Her singing voice was described as "sultry" and "husky" and perhaps her 3-pack-per-day smoking habit had something to do with that. She starred with Randolph Mantooth in the hit TV series Emergency!, which I've heard was very popular with little kids (like <= 10 years), for whatever reason.

Today's Edition Of The Morning Rant Is Brought To You By Fried Chicken Sammiches with Tangy Slaw:

(click for bigger sammich)

Fried chicken sammich recipe here.

posted by OregonMuse at 11:10 AM

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