The Occasional Fishing Thread, Dream Fish and Road Trips Edition - Hosted By Bandersnatch | Main | EMT 01/19/20
January 18, 2020

Saturday Overnight Open Thread (1/15/20)

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***


The Saturday Night Joke

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience.

It has an indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint ... and it goes like this:

What Makes 100% ?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND , look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, than while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there. It is the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why Politicians are where they are!
I’ve never seen a better explanation than this formula; how true it is.


***


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(Double-dawg dare you to click........)

Not enough joke?


***


More Saturday Night Joke

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Officer: Age?

Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 50 and 60. We don't do birthdays.

Officer: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

OFFICER : Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

OFFICER : Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think Never really noticed.

OFFICER : Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.

OFFICER : What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

OFFICER : What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

OFFICER : What kind of truck was it?

Husband : A 2017, manufactured September 16th, pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 .with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting. At this point the husband started choking up.

OFFICER : Take it easy sir, We'll find your truck (H/T Legally Sufficient)


***


Those of us that live in the great white north try not to let winter get us down. One of those activities is ice fishing. But, you have to be careful.

When it comes to ice, I'm not trailblazer, sometimes it's best to be a follower.


***


Just another reason not to go to the mall.

A group of rowdy diners at a mall in Connecticut were filmed allegedly assaulting a food-court employee, reportedly after a dispute about portion sizes.

In footage of the incident, which took place Wednesday at the Westfield Trumbull Mall in Trumbull, several people can be seen throwing napkins, trays, and other items over the counter of a Sarku Japan restaurant, presumably in an attempt to hit the employee.


***


To shave or not to shave? A recent study finds women are attracted to men with beards.

A New Study Found That Women Are More Attracted To Men Who Have Beards Leigh

Can you imagine there was a time when dudes were expected to be smooth-shaven? It’s 2020, folks, and times are changing. Gone are the days of bare-faced boy bands and baby-faced hunks. Because according to a new study, women are more attracted to men with beards.

Remember when Justin Timberlake decided to do a hipster rebrand a few years ago? He threw on a manly lumberjack jacket and started playing an acoustic guitar? That could only be pulled off...with a beard.


***


No word if CBD makes these burgers. $1,600 burger. I wonder what the burger would cost without the bun.


Houston's swanky H Bar is serving up a $1,600 burger that takes conspicuous consumption to a whole new level. While it's far from the only extravagantly-priced stunt sandwich on the market, the Black Gold burger is surely the first meant to be a gilded tribute to Houston's oil industry, using actual 24-carat gold leaf in the black brioche bun.

The burger's other ingredients will be familiar to those who have followed the ultra-expensive burger game: sixteen ounces of Wagyu beef flown in from Japan, seared foie gras, black truffles and truffle aioli, all piled between the striking black and gold bun.


***


Are there or aren't' there? 'The Navy Has Secret Classified Video of an Infamous UFO Incident'

A records request shows the Pentagon has "discovered certain briefing slides that are classified TOP SECRET" and a "video classified SECRET."

The Pentagon has Top Secret-classified briefings and a Secret-classified video about an infamous UFO incident, the U.S. Navy said in response to a public records request.

The files concern the 2004 encounter between the USS Nimitz and a with strange unknown aerial objects. In 2017 and 2018, three videos of bizarre aircraft taken by Navy pilots from their fighter planes made national news. In December 2017, The New York Times ran a story about Navy pilots who intercepted a strange object off the coast of San Diego on November 14th, 2004, and managed to shoot video of the object with their F-18’s gun camera. In September of 2019, Motherboard reported that the Navy confirmed the videos contained footage of “unknown aerial phenomena.

***

He portrays himself as an attorney. No word if he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

DAYTONA BEACH — Christian Eugene Mosco came up with what appeared to be a sure fire way to win his criminal case in which he was accused of threatening or extorting Jon Hall Chevrolet, a report said. Mosco declined to file criminal charges against himself, the report said.

Only problem is Mosco can’t do that, for at least two very important reasons. First, he is the person charged with the crime, and second, Mosco is not a prosecutor, or even a lawyer.

Mosco, 47, is now facing a slew of additional felony charges that could send him to prison for decades, including impersonating a prosecutor and practicing law without a license. Mosco is listed as a transient in an arrest report but his current home is the Volusia County Branch Jail, where he is being held without bail.

Those charges are on top of the second-degree felony Mosco was already charged with of threats or extortion after investigators said he emailed Jon Hall Chevrolet in Daytona Beach in May 2019 and demanded $50,000 and a 2019 Chevy Malibu in exchange for not revealing two years-worth of sales-records containing customer’s Social Security numbers.


***


Afternoon delight?


***


A new Gatling gun to hit the scene. 'There is a growing interest in .338 caliber machine guns, which offer greater range than 7.62mm types, and this one would provide a high rate of fire.'

Though Dillon Aero has not yet released any specifics about its .338 Norma Magnum weapon, it is clearly another electrically-powered Gatling gun-type machine gun. While the Minigun has six rotating barrels, the .338 caliber design only has five. Miniguns, and other modern Gatling guns, typically have rates of fire of thousands of rounds per minute.


***


I call Bull Shit! I hope I'm around in 30 years.

In a series of Thursday evening tweets, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk revealed new details about his plans to colonize Mars.

In theory, 1,000 Starships could eventually send “maybe around 100k people per Earth-Mars orbital sync,” Musk tweeted. “That’s the goal,” he added.

Musk envisions these ships departing Earth orbit over a 30-day period, the window of time when Earth and Mars are best aligned to make the trip, every 26 months.

When a Twitter user asked him if that would equate to one million people on Mars by 2050, Musk responded with a simple “yes.”


***


The ONT Musical Interlude


On this day: 18 Jan 1981
Wendy O. Williams of The Plasmatics was arrested on stage at Milwaukee and was charged with the offence of simulating sex with a sledgehammer. Williams later filed a multimillion dollar civil suit against the Milwaukee Police, claiming they sexually assaulted and beat her during the arrest, but a jury rejected her claims. via this dayinmusic.com

&&&


On this day: 18 Jan 1974
Former members from Free, (Paul Rodgers & Simon Kirke), Mott The Hoople (Mick Ralphs), and King Crimson, (Boz Burrell), formed Bad Company. The band went on to score a US No.1 album with their debut release. via thisdayinmusic.com


***


No, he's not Keith Richards but a Genius Award Winner.

Wisconsin man busted for selling weed told cops he ‘ingested’ his mom’s ashes


***


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Special Orders.

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Notice: Posted with permission by the Ace Media Empire and AceCorp, LLC. Caution The ONT is habit forming.

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posted by Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:46 PM

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