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December 25, 2019
Make Gas Cans Great Again & Lock Up the "Snow Blower Vote" [BUCK THROCKMORTON]If Donald Trump wants to ensure he recaptures the 2020 electoral votes in the Great Lakes states he won in 2016 - and possibly add Minnesota, New Hampshire, and Maine - there is one simple thing he could do that would make him a hero to every snow-blowing American - issue an executive order to restore functioning gas cans. The government-mandated non-functioning gas can may be the most unpopular government-imposed regulatory rule since the 55 mile per hour speed limit. If you don’t know someone who mocks and despises these stupid red canisters, then you are living a very sheltered urban or upscale lifestyle. Most all working-class and middle-class Americans deal with these awful containers, and they mock the government for imposing them on us. Even James Lileks, the gentle Minneapolis newspaper columnist who also writes for National Review, had this to say recently on his daily blog about his efforts to gas up his new snow blower: This was not as easy as it sounds, since the gas can had a special safety nozzle that prevented gas from escaping under any circumstances, including the time when you wanted to pour it out. Push in the green tab to unlock, press with your palm! Nothing. Did it again: nothing. Did it again: somehow gas came out of the part where I was pressing, not the nozzle. Augh. Go inside, clean it off, try to get the damned SAFETY ENHANCED CAN to release a few drops. Nothing. In the process the smell of gas filled the garage and the tunnel, and when my wife came home she was overcome by fumes. While not an obnoxious #NeverTrump writer like much of the National Review staff, Mr. Lileks has been politely #NotTrump. Perhaps liberating him, and millions of other snow blowing Americans, from the tyranny of the government-designed gas can would be persuasive come November 2020. Even if you put politics aside, and out of compassion for his fellow Americans, Mr. Trump just needs to issue an executive order to end this gas can idiocy. His recent comments mocking government toilet regulations indicate that he has an ear for the impact of idiotic government regulations. Congress never passed a law which outlawed the old gas cans. Instead, these abhorrent new gas cans were simply foisted on us by zealous government imbeciles who have never mowed a blade of grass or poured a drop of gas out of a gas can. With one stroke of his pen President Trump can fix this mess. One more thing - after restoring functioning gas cans, President Trump should assemble the EPA team and ask every executive and manager in the EPA if they personally support the current non-functioning gas cans. Any EPA employee who replies in the affirmative should be terminated on the spot - with insults, derision, and mockery. Someone please forward this article to President Trump. | Recent Comments
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Even as Comcast Prepares to Sell, Or Shut Down, Toxic Propaganda Network MSNBC, MSNBC's Ratings Crash to Lowest Level in 20 Years
The Hunter Biden Pardon Has Stripped Bare the Democrats' Years-Long Preening About How They're the Party That "Respects the Rule of Law" Whistleblower Claims That FEMA Skipped Entire Neighborhoods If They Sported Three or More Trump Signs; House Republicans Demand Inspector General Investigate Update: Biden Decrees $1 Billion in Aid for Storm Victims -- For Africa South Korea's President Declares Martial Law -- But the Parliament Cancels It on a 190-0 Vote Flashback: When Taylor Lorenz Freaked Out About People Not Wearing Masks and "Rawdogging The Air" With Their Particles The Morning Rant: Reflections Edition Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 12/3/24 Daily Tech News 3 December 2024 Monday Overnight Open Thread (12/2/24) - Doof Search
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