The Morning Rant

"1. We need to switch to a 'loser pays' system. Also, the legal costs should be split between the loser and his or her attorney. The lawyers need to be forced to have skin in the game, too. Let's diminish the legal profession's "we get paid regardless of the outcome" incentive to clog the courts with cases of dubious merit.

"2. If you are convicted of falsely accusing someone of a crime, your sentence will be whatever the sentence is for the crime you used in your accusation.

"3. Any prosecutor who withholds exculpatory evidence from the defense shall be strung up by their balls and roasted over a slow fire. Seriously, the prosecutor should be declared guilty of the same crime they tried to impose on the defendant, and sentenced accordingly.

"4. Lying to prosecutors or law enforcement should not be a crime as long as it is legal for them to lie to you.

"5. If you absolutely insist that lying to prosecutors should be a crime, then the determination of whether the defendant actually lied should not be made by the prosecutor due to the obvious conflict of interest, but by an independently appointed officer of the court. And if the accusation is rejected, the prosecutor will incur the same penalties he sought to impose.

"7. "Some folks just need killing" should be a valid legal concept. The growth of the permanent criminal underclass must be contained.

"8. Hate speech should be declared an invalid concept for any legislation or legal proceeding.

"9. 15-year-old boys should not have to register as sex offenders for the rest of their lives for having nude photos of their 14-year-old girlfriends on their smart phones.

"10. Mean tweets, hurt feelings, and losing an election are not grounds for impeachment.

"11. No state, local, or national legislative body shall exempt itself from whatever laws it passes.

"12. Epstein didn't kill himself."

21 USC §§331, 333, 387c(a)(7) & 21 CFR §1140.16(d)(3)(ii) make it a federal crime for a chewing tobacco company to give away free samples at a baseball game.

— A Crime a Day (@CrimeADay) October 26, 2019

Late Entry For Dumbest Internet Quote, 2019:

Rep. Eric Swalwell: "It's an abuse of power to remove an ambassador for political reasons because you don't like what they're doing." pic.twitter.com/kg8PbwwXfr

— The Hill (@thehill) November 6, 2019

Compare & Contrast:

Awesome Video

Have you seen this? Trump Thunderstruck

I'm a huge AC/DC fan so ❤️https://t.co/Byb50fl0Kl

— Katica (@GOPPollAnalyst) November 7, 2019

Bye Bye Beto:

Dear Bluegrass Politics accountability editor @JohnStamper:

Please look at the photo accompanying this tweet and see if you see anything... wrong, or, at least ironic, about it. Thanks! https://t.co/pWzlYPxBih

— OregonMuse (@OregonMuse) November 7, 2019

Who Dis:

For the 'Ettes:

Bonus Who Dis: Both together.

Wednesday's Celebs: Diane Keaton and Andy Garcia, each of whom had parts in The Godfather, Part III, ostensibly the weakest of the three, and also Book Club (2018), which, apparently, was pretty bad. Some of you thought they were both in Looking For Mr. Goodbar, but no, that was with Richard Gere, an actor who, contrary to what you may have heard, never stuffed a gerbil up his butt. That we know of. Goodbar is the stereotypical 70s movie, i.e. dark, messed-up, and depressing as hell.

Friday Shoe Pr0n:

(click for bigger shoes)

Today's Edition Of The Morning Rant Is Brought To You By Oreo Ice Cream:

posted by OregonMuse at 11:12 AM

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