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November 01, 2019
Cosplay Hispanic, Noted Furry, and Occasional Burglar, Drunk Driver, and Felony Evader Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke Says "¡ No mas!" to Presidential Delusions
Alternate headline:
Unemployed Dreamer Says He's Going to Stop Trying to Find a Job for a While, and "Just Work on Himself for a Bit"
Remember when this asshole abandoned his family to Discover America?
"Beto's" withdrawal from the race leaves a big space in the Vanilla White Liar Pretending to Be a Minority lane, which Elizabeth "I'm an Indian whenever I'm applying for a new gig" Warren is expected to fill.
There's no proof that this skinny furry dweeb was scared out of the race by a single woman, but there's also no proof that that didn't happen.