Sponsored Content
« Queen of Unmaskings Samantha Power Showed Extreme Political Bias in Emails | Main | Democrat Transwoman Abortion Rights Rally and Learning Annex Spanish-for-Beginners Lesson, Dia Dos »
June 27, 2019

Father and Daughter Who Drowned at Rio Grande Were Economic Migrants Not Entitled to Asylum, and Crossed River Despite Being Warned Against It

This is somehow all your fault though, haters.

Meanwhile, the loud and ignorant Alexandria Donkey-Chompers continues being loud, ignorant.

aocren

Ugh. She is rough to look at. Her face looks like roads of her native Puerto Rico, rutted and weathered and aging like a salad under hot lights at Sizzler.

As roads in Puerto Rico often are.

Evel Knievel once planned a rocket-assisted jump across the crags in her skin, but he took the coward's way out and jumped the Snake River Canyon instead.

She doesn't need botox, she needs a Superfund designation.

She always has the same look on her face, the look that says "I just looked into the Ark of the Covenant and it's beautiful, it's beautiful! Oh wait, not so much now."

Her face looks like a Renaissance masterpiece, aged and cracked and in need of high-tech restoration and probably painted over a lost map to the Templar treasure.

Nick Cage wants to shave off her eyebrows and look for clues.

She looks like a Roswell alien cadaver skull in drag-paint.

Her face is the metaphysical embodiment of that feeling you get when you see two cheap knockoff sneakers made of lime colored pseudovelour in size triple wide hanging off a telephone line. You feel bad for the kid that once owned them, but you wonder, wistfully, if the Curse of the Haunted Kedz is now finally lifted.

She looks like one of those poisonous Amazonian tree toads except in bad need of moisturizer and with The Crazy Eyes.

She's got teeth like tombstones and skin like sunbaked denim.

She looks like she was made out of mismatched parts from the puppet faces in The Dark Crystal and Tales from the Crypt.

She's a stone-cold butterface. The only reason people even credit her as attractive is that her competition is Barbara Mikulski and Rashida Tlaib and Jerry Nadler.

Just a quick post because the debate's tonight and I sure would like a little break.


digg this
posted by Ace of Spades at 07:10 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Barkingmad59, wandering lurkette: "Ahhh, pet thread... Our little guys and gals give ..."

weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "[i]No more than 2 yolks a day! Posted by: San Fra ..."

Martini Farmer: "> Green eggs go good with ham. __________ That ..."

Eromero: "Green eggs go good with ham. ..."

lin-duh: "I haven't had to buy a store bought egg in over 10 ..."

JEM: "We have two pairs of rescue dogs. No idea how old ..."

Martini Farmer: "> There are no store bought eggs that compare. I'm ..."

Indignacio Vindacatorem: "The pride flag is awesome - Schlichter called it i ..."

San Franpsycho: "When we go to Sonoma this summer we will have a lo ..."

Notsothoreau: "And turkey eggs are brown with dark brown speckles ..."

lin-duh: "You need Aracuanas for blue eggs. I no longer have ..."

Notsothoreau: "Most of the colored ones are Americanas. All I eve ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64