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May 17, 2019

The Morning Rant

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"Stuff like this always cracks me up: Alabama passed an anti-abortion law and international airhead actress/model Emily Ratajkowski responded by posting nude pics of herself on Instagram. Ha ha ha. So after blathering on about 'patriarchy' and 'the prison industrial complex', her message boiled down to 'Abortion is great, and hey, look at my breasts'. I'm glad she's selflessly doing this for a cause and not just using this as an opportunity for some cheap, tawdry self-promotion. No, I'm not going to link to her pics, you pervs. You know, I didn't realize there was anyone who could make Alyssa Milano look smart, but it turns out I was wrong. And speaking of brainless bimbos, Milano is, get this, on a 'sex strike' because of the anti-abortion law in Georgia. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I mean, think of it: if all progressives made sacrificial vows of celibacy to Moloch, or Dagon, or whomever, that they're going to refrain from sex until these laws are rescinded, then we should see a dramatic drop in the national STD rates. Also, children would be safe, particularly in Hollywood and other blue cities where raping children is approved of and encouraged. Teenaged girls would no longer have to fear being around Joe Biden. Bill Clinton would have to put his pants back on. And that guy who used to be mayor of San Diego, what's his name, 'Filthy' Filner, he also wouldn't be pawing any female who came within arm's length of his groping, pawing hands. Hollywood celebrities would no longer need to ignore or defend a whole host of predators and perverts since they wouldn't be doing anything they that had to be ignored or defended. The ficus plant in Harvey Weinstein's office would have some time to dry out a bit. And lastly, without progressive sex, they'll be fewer of their spawn to befoul the next generation. So I see nothing but positive benefits coming from Alyssa Milano keeping her legs crossed."

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Because 'Heartbeat' Makes Them Too Uncomfortable:

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Sure You Are:

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Hilarious Typo:

Update: Whoops, it looks like Newsweek deleted the original tweet. Click on the '@ACO' link to find out who they actually linked to rather than @AOC.

We Need Common Sense Knife Control:

Who Dis:

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If you need a little help, you can look at this photo. Also, for full credit, you need to spell her name correctly.

For the 'Ettes:

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Wednesday's celebs: Tollywood actress Urvashi Rautela and a younger, hunkier Rob Lowe.

Friday Shoe Pr0n:

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Today's Edition Of The Morning Rant Is Brought To You By French Toast Topped With Apple Slices:

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posted by OregonMuse at 11:17 AM

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